whokilledpanda
07-17-2011, 08:45 PM
Hi everyone, my name is Mandy and I suffer from very severe anxiety & depression issues. I've had them for as long as I can remember because I had a very damaging childhood and teenage life. Starting from the time I was about 2 years old I was physically & verbally abused by my schizophrenic Mother. And during my teenage years I was psychologically abused by my Father who is a drug addict. I have dependency issues as well as isolation issues and I have seen a psychologist recently but only once due to lack of medical insurance. I have very few friends due to my condition and I never go out or do anything fun as a result of it. My anxiety holds me back from a lot of things in life in which I have no control over. It is a struggle for me to even function on a daily basis. My anxiety has gotten so bad over the years that its at the point now that I have panic attacks on a regular basis, I have a very hard time openly expressing how I feel to others, Suppressing my emotions, and letting go of a lot of things in my past due to how its affected me. I also do not drive as a result of this. My family is somewhat supportive in my hopes to recover and say that they will help me find the help that I need but their actions ultimately speak louder than their words. If I have any constant support I will definitely say that I find the strength in God and my boyfriend of a year in a half who has been nothing but understanding about it (He happens to have ADHD), and I am very fortunate to have him for support as well as supporting him through his struggles. We are both in an open Christian relationship and it's a very good feeling to know that we always have each other no matter what trials and tribulations we may be facing. In all honesty, this is the first time I have ever expressed any of these personal details with anyone so I'm really REALLY hoping that there are others out there just like me who struggle with the same things I do on a daily basis. I feel so alone sometimes and I just want to be normal like everyone else. Please if you can relate with me or have any kind of advice to my issues, I would very much appreciate it! :)