new here, hoping to meet like minded people. Please read :)

[nowhereboy]

hey folks. Id like someone to help give me a clue whats going on. I was a recreational drug user for a few months (most weekends) and im pretty sure this has triggerd my panic. In short i had a big panic attack at a party, felt like id lost my mind and had trouble breathing etc and my life has been a rollercoaster ride since. It might be worth mentioning i have since quit and not took anything in over a month.

On good days i feel pretty much normal, infact somtimes i think "what was i even worrying about" then on a bad day i feel like im going insane. I dont see things, or hear voices, i just obsesse over thoughts of worry. I quesition everything "what is conciousness, how do i no who i am, what is reality etc" I start to feel trapped, i feel like ive just gotta do somthing but i dont no what! Somtimes i can shake the thoughts early then somtimes they grip me and take control. I seem to get to a certain point and then i just start feeling like im loosing it. At its worse its hard to concentrate and my head just feels kinda empty. Google doesnt help, everytime i search my symptoms i find another mental illness to worry about lol!

I have been taking kalms which seem to help a little. I felt fine for almost a week then for no reason at all i felt the fear building again today. Its like "ah yes, i remember how this feels, awfull!" Anyone else expirienced this sort of issue? One minute i think im fine, the next im convinced im going mad. Please tell me this sounds like anxiety to you lot? I need to go to the docs i know, just on a good day i think "im fine its pointless going" and on a bad day i dont really feel up to talking to anyone. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

[nowhereboy]

Id also like to add when im feeling this way i become forgetfull. Possibly because its hard to concentrate on whats going on around me. Ive just read up on alzheimer's and im now terrified that this might be the cause. Why am i so worried about everything?

[Marlow]

Are you talking about me? I had my first anxiety attack while on drugs and since stopped and even went through a period of no problems. When I have these I feel like Im going insane. I worry about it alot and I have good days and bad days. good days I would not want to talk about my problem but on bad ones i just want someone around to talk to.

I started taking zoloft and clonazapam for anxiety. I also started working nights, and last night I felt that ohh familiar feeling so I had to take a clonazapem. I also have strange feelings when I wake up, just kinda feel out of it. I dont know if its from the schedule shift or the anxiety but I just feel strange in the mornings.

Keep in touch, its interesting to hear of someone who knows exactly what im going through. Dont worry about the forgetfulness, I dont remember last week at all. I have to think really hard about what happened that week.

Im there with ya, Keep in touch, I know how you feel.
Marlow

[nowhereboy]

marlow, thanks for your reply, your the first person who seems to have a clue what im talking about! If you dont mind me asking, what drugs were you taking? I was a heavy weed smoker and for a good couple of month took ecstacy each weekend aswell. Safe to say i regret it all now. I will keep intouch, sites like this seem to attract me when im feeling this way.

[nowhereboy]

hey kev, thanks. Nice reply! i know google and paranoia are a horrible combination. Its like i keep wanting to find somthing that makes me think "ah its fine" but obviously that never happens lol. What sparked it all off today was my auntie ringing the house phone and asking for my mam, she said "oh your mam rang up earlyer asking how to spell alzhiemers". Major flap on my behalf, i started thinking shit i must have been forgeting everything and making my mam worry. Then the deep thinking started "how do i remember things? how do i know what i just done, what if my mind just forgets everything? bla bla bla" Its a very strange feeling. It doesnt help that half the time, when my mams on my case i just claim to have "forgot" to do somthing because its convinient to me and im a lazy bugger at the minute :P

[Marlow]

It was marajuanna. I was going through a break up and some stressors in my life. I was coping with weed and had my first panic attack. It was weird and changed my perception for a while. I knew it was from the weed and started to feel better. I then had a panic attack after drinking an energy drink and had the same weird perceptions as before. I went to see a child psychologist and was perscribed straterra. The guy was a whack. well needless to say I stopped getting help until this summer when all came crashing in again.

well, started getting help again this summer but feel more down then ever, and for seemingly no reason, school went well, my friends are good. I just cant shake this feeling. I suppose starting to work nights isnt helping but gotta get paid.

[ginaz]

I know the feeling. I have never done drugs, so we don't have that trigger in common, but I have the same symptoms. I feel like I am going insane, crawling out of my skin, like any minute I am going to lose control and do something. I know its my anxiety, but that doesn't stop that awful feeling from just taking over. I don't have any suggestions for you, my anxiety is relatively new and I am still trying to figure it out, but just wanted to let you know that your not alone.