going thru alot. new here

[lsemp4]

I am a 32 year old female. I have always had problems with social anxiety and have tried several ssri's in the past. Nothing ever seems to work. I have delt with this without meds on and off for years. I have trouble getting my mind to stop, can't sleep but a few hrs on and off. I don't want to get out of the house and I don't like going places alone. I get instant anxiety attacks. Even when calling for pizza's. I know it sounds crazy. Recently I fell 20 feet and shattered my tibial plataue. Have been non weight bearing on right leg for 8 months now. I keep having dreams of the fall and I have had 7 surgerys within a 6 month time frame. Symptoms of not only the sas but also the worring and quilt of the accident and the toll its done to the family has me pretty messed up. I get angry at little things, I don't have patience, tired of hubby having to take full finacial burden and still wondering when the next surgery is going to be. I feel like I'm lossing my mind, I have an appointment with pych tomorrow, I hate talking to people I don't know affraid I am being judged. And I hate asking for meds. I don't want them to think I just want drugs. But I can't sleep or focus or remember small details. And I have no idea what meds I should be on. Is this normal for someone with sas? Or am I losing my mind.

[lsemp4]

Just got back from first session. Its hard to talk about a lot of stuff but at this point I don't really have much else I can constructively do.wish me luck

[Gladys]

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate.

Firstly, don't worry about asking for medication. If it benefits you, then you need it (I don't know what I'd do without medication to help me sleep).

As for not knowing what type of medication to take, if it's not working for you, then discuss altering the dosage or changing it with your doctor.

No, you're not losing your mind. Feeling a lack of focus, concentration and all the other sypmtoms are normal; just as forgetting little things is normal. If you're like me, you'll be having all sorts of thoughts going through your head. The thing is those ideas never seem to leave, we just get others on top!

As for the guilt you say you feel, well, life's not been that kind to you, has it? Neither have you invited it all, so there's no need to feel guilty. It's not your fault that things aren't the way you wish they could be.

At some point, you'll start thinking about doing the things you've felt unable to do at the moment. Until then, look after yourself.

Best wishes

[overunder]

I think Gladys is right about asking for meds if you need them. Just be cautious, many anxiety meds are addictive and require gradual weaning if you need to come off them. So do your research. Maybe even try some herbal remedies first (that's all I take and it helps).

I feel for you about not wanting to go out, or pick up the phone. Since I was little I've had this problem where every time I need to make a phone call to somebody I don't know I sit there staring at the phone. I'll lock the dog in a bedroom, shut the windows, think carefully about what I'm going to say and even then, look for any excuse to do something else. Even if I'm just calling a store to see if they have an item i need. I know this stuff seems silly, but that's why we have forums like this. We're all going through some stuff.

My mom once gave me a mantra to say to myself when I feel really guilty, maybe it will help you. You close your eyes and talk to yourself, repeating these four things.

1) I'm sorry
2) I forgive you
3) I love you
4) Thank you

Negative self-talk is a killer for us anxious people. You've got to make time to tell yourself it's really gonna be okay. =)

[Schatmeisje]

wow, you really do have a lot to cope with ! I would also be cautious of meds and i have managed to cope to come degree without them. I only have 2mg of valium of i have to go somewhere that is very frightening for me (which in my case is the doctors). Just try to remember that this is a slow process and that there are many up and down days, and we also have lots of set backs along the way.
Most importantly, remember you are not alone, i know it sometimes feels like we are alone, but there a millions of us suffering through the same thing, each and every day and we are here to support you.
i have found my psychologist to be great,try to remember when you are there, that they wont judge you, they see this all day every day and will onl tey to help you.
I have also found bowen therapy to be useful in just camling myself down and also helps with sleep as well, and also burning essential oils for anxiety that i found at a food store.
Hope you are feeling better and keep taking one day at a time xxxxxx

[tinted]

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f56/5-htp-5-hydroxytryptophan-84151/ I hope this can help it's used for a lot of things anxiety,depression and it helps with insomnia.I#d say that you feel really irritated and the lack of focus is probably a result of lack of sleep.

Like stated before anxiety and anti depression meds are addictive.If you can wait a while and try alternative therapies before it would be best.

[lsemp4]

Thanks everyone, next counseling is Tuesday and I go to dr. Monday to see if I need yet another surgery, bone graft, anxiety waitting for Monday is killing me, will keep everyone posted. Thanks again