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06-11-2011, 06:06 AM
Hello :) New here but not to forums... in a nutshell I'm 28 an have had anxiety for 20 years, on and off. It started with my health as I always got sick as a kid and my mum was forever WORRYING about me... it rubbed off on me and I became a hypochondriac.
From there I developed other small anxieties which is my main question for this thread: how do you manage the making a fool of yourself in public anxiety?
I am a Matron of Honor for my best friends wedding in a month, I am FREAKING out because I hate being in a place where I can't move or get out of. The ceremony is the only part of it that is daunting for me. I hate it, and it's only 30 mins of my life. I am seeing a counsellor atm who's helping me achieve mindfulness and to live in the moment as a way of coping... but I am seeing myself already having a panic attack, being out of control, sabotaging myself, convincing myself it'll happen regardless of the fact it may not (but it still may). If something happens I'll never live it down, my friend won't forgive me etc... I can't get out of it nor do I find comfort in knowing it's not even my wedding, the fact is I'll still be standing up there.
It's driving me crazy, I have a little OCD so I can't stop thinking about it.
A bit more background... my anxiety has been on and off, good periods and bad periods... I have seen a Naturopath who has been a miracle worker for me for the last 20 years but is too costly to see at the moment even though his remedies work, and I have always been against anti-d's but in the last 12 months I have developed PND since the birth of my daughter (suffered terrible labour etc) ... so things have built up, I have become more irritable, angry, OCD, anxious, the lot... So in saying that I needed something stronger and have started Lexapro 3 days ago and so far I have anxiety (combined with other side effects) only because the drug is slowing me down, which I guess is the point. I really hope they kick in before the wedding, I am planning on combining valium with this to get me through, still hope it's strong enough!
Btw, I got married myself and only freaked out halfway through my own ceremony because I had all of a sudden become claustrophobic... but I managed to talk myself out of it. I was also in a good place at this time... but now this time around my anxieties have come back triggered by the last 12 months and have built up over time... I really hate how it comes and goes which is another reason I've gone on Lexapro just to rewire my brain and finally find strategies to cope with it for good.
I am seeing a counsellor, reading "the Happiness Trap" and trying to practice mindfulness to get me going... my problem is I never live in the moment, all I do is worry, regret and feel guilt and float through life... I want to start living.
Sorry for the long post, TIA :)
From there I developed other small anxieties which is my main question for this thread: how do you manage the making a fool of yourself in public anxiety?
I am a Matron of Honor for my best friends wedding in a month, I am FREAKING out because I hate being in a place where I can't move or get out of. The ceremony is the only part of it that is daunting for me. I hate it, and it's only 30 mins of my life. I am seeing a counsellor atm who's helping me achieve mindfulness and to live in the moment as a way of coping... but I am seeing myself already having a panic attack, being out of control, sabotaging myself, convincing myself it'll happen regardless of the fact it may not (but it still may). If something happens I'll never live it down, my friend won't forgive me etc... I can't get out of it nor do I find comfort in knowing it's not even my wedding, the fact is I'll still be standing up there.
It's driving me crazy, I have a little OCD so I can't stop thinking about it.
A bit more background... my anxiety has been on and off, good periods and bad periods... I have seen a Naturopath who has been a miracle worker for me for the last 20 years but is too costly to see at the moment even though his remedies work, and I have always been against anti-d's but in the last 12 months I have developed PND since the birth of my daughter (suffered terrible labour etc) ... so things have built up, I have become more irritable, angry, OCD, anxious, the lot... So in saying that I needed something stronger and have started Lexapro 3 days ago and so far I have anxiety (combined with other side effects) only because the drug is slowing me down, which I guess is the point. I really hope they kick in before the wedding, I am planning on combining valium with this to get me through, still hope it's strong enough!
Btw, I got married myself and only freaked out halfway through my own ceremony because I had all of a sudden become claustrophobic... but I managed to talk myself out of it. I was also in a good place at this time... but now this time around my anxieties have come back triggered by the last 12 months and have built up over time... I really hate how it comes and goes which is another reason I've gone on Lexapro just to rewire my brain and finally find strategies to cope with it for good.
I am seeing a counsellor, reading "the Happiness Trap" and trying to practice mindfulness to get me going... my problem is I never live in the moment, all I do is worry, regret and feel guilt and float through life... I want to start living.
Sorry for the long post, TIA :)