canty85
06-09-2011, 09:37 AM
Hi Everyone,
I've never actually posted in a forum before but this one seems really inviting and i'm desperate to get control of my anxiety!
So I'll tell you a bit about myself, I'm from Ireland, I'm 25 (almost 26:eek:) I work in accounts, have a full time job which i like, and studying 2 nights a week in college to complete my accounting exams. i have a great family- mam, dad, sister and newphew, and 2 cats, cant forget them! i have an amazing boyfriend who i'm with nearly a year and who has been so understanding about my anxiety! :)
i'm going to be completely honest here and i hope no one judges me because of it, the anxiety started shortly after i had a scary experience with drugs. i absolutely do not condone anyone taking drugs, infact i am so anti-drugs after what happened me! i was always quite an anxious person, i think its my personality, i blush easily, i always sweated more than others, and hated being in situations i couldnt get out of, cannot do public speaking, etc! so basically i ended up in A&E (accident & emergency) after my drug incident, as i was finding it hard to breathe and my heart was racing and was convinced i was going to die, i never experienced the fear and terror as i did lying on that hospital bed! the staff obviously gave me a telling off asking me why i would take drugs when i have so much going for me in life, and i ask myself the same question now, i can honestly say, hand on heart, if i had known i would end up like this i never ever would have touched a drug! this all happened in September 2009 by the way! so the doctors did all tests on me and i was fine, they gave me some valium to calm me down and put me on a drip and my mom brought me home a couple of hours later. About a week after this i ran a 10 mile marathon for a local cancer charity (which proves i'm fit enough right?) then about a week after that the anxiety started, out of nowhere, in started in the nights when i got in to bed, was getting pains in my chest and just feeling really anxious which fast started to happen all day, every day! i actually felt i was losing my mind, and convinced i was going to drop dead any min, it affected my work and college! i went to the doctor and i got loads of tests done, EKG, Holter monitor for 24hrs etc and blood tests and all were fine! so she said it must be anxiety and prescribed me anti depressants called Amitriptyline, started at 25mg and this did nothing for me so upped it to 50mg at night! it took a couple of months to start working, had a tough time with my granddad dying in feb 2010 who i was very close to and i was seeing a councellor for everything! but by mar/apr i was feeling much better and it was May when i met my boyfriend and i was feeling really great, life couldnt have been better! the doctor lowered my meds to 25mg then 10 mg and was then completely off everything by october 2010, so basically a full year of taking them! so everything was fine, still got anxious about the usual things but it wasnt out of control, until the end of February of this year when i joined the gym, was in the gym about 2 weeks before i had my fitness examination, the 2 weeks before that i was flying in the gym, going to spinning classes 4 times a week, and boxercise, was loving it, wanted to lose some weight and tone up for my holidays the end of the summer, ( im 5"2.5 and about 135lbs, want to lose about 7lbs to feel comfortable and to be healthy) so when i went for my fitness test the instructor said my blood pressure was very high (175 over something, cant remember the bottom number) and my heart rate was 99 beats a min, this was before i did anything only walk up the stairs to the gym!! so i was freaked out by this ( i do get high blood pressure readings quite a bit but had a 24 monitor on me and discovered its anxiety as it evened out at a normal range) so when i got on the treadmill for the fitness test i was really anxious and those feeling that i experienced in the hospital that time came back to me, and my heart rate peeked at 185 walking like 4/5 kmp, so the fitness instructor said i had a poor aerobic level, but this isnt infact true if my heart was racing due to anxiety as well as walking! i never went back to the gym after that because my anxiety was back to the way it used to, constant anxiety, tight feeling in my chest, i experience really weird sensations - really bad pains in my head, clenching feeling in my heart, pins and needles, racing heart, palpitaions just to name a few! the only thing that is keeping me going is i know these are all symptoms of anxiety as they all happened me the last time and went away when i was better! so back to the doctors i went and my own doc was on holidays, so i seen a different doc but he didnt really know what i was going through the last time so it was hard to explain everything to him, he decided to put me on lexapro, he also did another 24 hr blood pressure monitor which was ok! the lexapro didnt work well with me, hated it for 2 weeks! so went back to him and convinced him the amitrriptyline worked for me last time so he put me back on 25mg! turns out my own doc was back so made an app with her the following week and felt relieved to have been talking to her as she knows what im going through, so she decided to up my dose to 50mg so been on that for a week now and am ok, still every anxious though, got weird pumping muscle spasms in my heart today! and yesterday had a pain on the left side of my neck! these physical symptoms freak me out, convinced i'm going to have a heart attack but i know its all to do with anxiety! i also started yoga a couple of weeks ago which is good, really enjoy going!
so that is my very long story, im sure i have left out bits and pieces! id be so grateful to anyone who can help, or just give me any tips or share their storys with me! i know this will pass with the medication in time but i want to be anxiety free for good and not have to take medication for the rest of my life! :ninja:
so thanks if you have read my story, i look forward to some responses!
Rachel xxx
I've never actually posted in a forum before but this one seems really inviting and i'm desperate to get control of my anxiety!
So I'll tell you a bit about myself, I'm from Ireland, I'm 25 (almost 26:eek:) I work in accounts, have a full time job which i like, and studying 2 nights a week in college to complete my accounting exams. i have a great family- mam, dad, sister and newphew, and 2 cats, cant forget them! i have an amazing boyfriend who i'm with nearly a year and who has been so understanding about my anxiety! :)
i'm going to be completely honest here and i hope no one judges me because of it, the anxiety started shortly after i had a scary experience with drugs. i absolutely do not condone anyone taking drugs, infact i am so anti-drugs after what happened me! i was always quite an anxious person, i think its my personality, i blush easily, i always sweated more than others, and hated being in situations i couldnt get out of, cannot do public speaking, etc! so basically i ended up in A&E (accident & emergency) after my drug incident, as i was finding it hard to breathe and my heart was racing and was convinced i was going to die, i never experienced the fear and terror as i did lying on that hospital bed! the staff obviously gave me a telling off asking me why i would take drugs when i have so much going for me in life, and i ask myself the same question now, i can honestly say, hand on heart, if i had known i would end up like this i never ever would have touched a drug! this all happened in September 2009 by the way! so the doctors did all tests on me and i was fine, they gave me some valium to calm me down and put me on a drip and my mom brought me home a couple of hours later. About a week after this i ran a 10 mile marathon for a local cancer charity (which proves i'm fit enough right?) then about a week after that the anxiety started, out of nowhere, in started in the nights when i got in to bed, was getting pains in my chest and just feeling really anxious which fast started to happen all day, every day! i actually felt i was losing my mind, and convinced i was going to drop dead any min, it affected my work and college! i went to the doctor and i got loads of tests done, EKG, Holter monitor for 24hrs etc and blood tests and all were fine! so she said it must be anxiety and prescribed me anti depressants called Amitriptyline, started at 25mg and this did nothing for me so upped it to 50mg at night! it took a couple of months to start working, had a tough time with my granddad dying in feb 2010 who i was very close to and i was seeing a councellor for everything! but by mar/apr i was feeling much better and it was May when i met my boyfriend and i was feeling really great, life couldnt have been better! the doctor lowered my meds to 25mg then 10 mg and was then completely off everything by october 2010, so basically a full year of taking them! so everything was fine, still got anxious about the usual things but it wasnt out of control, until the end of February of this year when i joined the gym, was in the gym about 2 weeks before i had my fitness examination, the 2 weeks before that i was flying in the gym, going to spinning classes 4 times a week, and boxercise, was loving it, wanted to lose some weight and tone up for my holidays the end of the summer, ( im 5"2.5 and about 135lbs, want to lose about 7lbs to feel comfortable and to be healthy) so when i went for my fitness test the instructor said my blood pressure was very high (175 over something, cant remember the bottom number) and my heart rate was 99 beats a min, this was before i did anything only walk up the stairs to the gym!! so i was freaked out by this ( i do get high blood pressure readings quite a bit but had a 24 monitor on me and discovered its anxiety as it evened out at a normal range) so when i got on the treadmill for the fitness test i was really anxious and those feeling that i experienced in the hospital that time came back to me, and my heart rate peeked at 185 walking like 4/5 kmp, so the fitness instructor said i had a poor aerobic level, but this isnt infact true if my heart was racing due to anxiety as well as walking! i never went back to the gym after that because my anxiety was back to the way it used to, constant anxiety, tight feeling in my chest, i experience really weird sensations - really bad pains in my head, clenching feeling in my heart, pins and needles, racing heart, palpitaions just to name a few! the only thing that is keeping me going is i know these are all symptoms of anxiety as they all happened me the last time and went away when i was better! so back to the doctors i went and my own doc was on holidays, so i seen a different doc but he didnt really know what i was going through the last time so it was hard to explain everything to him, he decided to put me on lexapro, he also did another 24 hr blood pressure monitor which was ok! the lexapro didnt work well with me, hated it for 2 weeks! so went back to him and convinced him the amitrriptyline worked for me last time so he put me back on 25mg! turns out my own doc was back so made an app with her the following week and felt relieved to have been talking to her as she knows what im going through, so she decided to up my dose to 50mg so been on that for a week now and am ok, still every anxious though, got weird pumping muscle spasms in my heart today! and yesterday had a pain on the left side of my neck! these physical symptoms freak me out, convinced i'm going to have a heart attack but i know its all to do with anxiety! i also started yoga a couple of weeks ago which is good, really enjoy going!
so that is my very long story, im sure i have left out bits and pieces! id be so grateful to anyone who can help, or just give me any tips or share their storys with me! i know this will pass with the medication in time but i want to be anxiety free for good and not have to take medication for the rest of my life! :ninja:
so thanks if you have read my story, i look forward to some responses!
Rachel xxx