Annonymity
06-02-2011, 11:00 AM
So i finaly accepted that its okay to feel anxious. for this whole year ive been worrying about feeling anxious its weird I know.. but thats just how it is. having a huge lump in the throat my nerves beeing all weird having tightness in chest worrying alot in general, I was thinking about why I had these symptoms why they wouldnt go away etc and it just made me more worried, but i've accepted it now. and as i've accepted it I feel alot better, to simplify it "its okay to feel anxious"
Now that i've cleared that up, I just have one question. at this point in my life im not afraid of the panic attacks and I don't have that fear I get when I have alot of lingering anxeity, why am I still afraid, of letting go compleetly like a normal person and go to the bar and hang out with my friends or go play basketball with all my friends and go to one of my friends graduation parties. don't get me wrong I workout everday playing intense basketball for 30 mins and doing deep breathing exerices after that but I do all that stuff alone, and doing it alone kinda makes the fear go away, I don't know why. how do I change this? like for example today do I just go out do whatever I want and just not care? or do I the cognotive version: go out feel on a scale of 1/10 how scary was this bla bla then set up goals?
In the end I know nothing bad will happen but that dosent make it less scary, i've tryed in the past to go out but I seem to very anxious etc, i've tryed to sit down have a beer and just try to forget it but its there and then I usually excuse myself and go back home and get upset by it, but I think I just have to do it over and overagain everytime I fall down on my back, am I right?
I feel this is a new beggining for me, and I can finaly act on that promise I made during newyears eve, that I would fight to get rid of my anxeity and not just back down or sit at home playing games trying to ignore it!
Now that i've cleared that up, I just have one question. at this point in my life im not afraid of the panic attacks and I don't have that fear I get when I have alot of lingering anxeity, why am I still afraid, of letting go compleetly like a normal person and go to the bar and hang out with my friends or go play basketball with all my friends and go to one of my friends graduation parties. don't get me wrong I workout everday playing intense basketball for 30 mins and doing deep breathing exerices after that but I do all that stuff alone, and doing it alone kinda makes the fear go away, I don't know why. how do I change this? like for example today do I just go out do whatever I want and just not care? or do I the cognotive version: go out feel on a scale of 1/10 how scary was this bla bla then set up goals?
In the end I know nothing bad will happen but that dosent make it less scary, i've tryed in the past to go out but I seem to very anxious etc, i've tryed to sit down have a beer and just try to forget it but its there and then I usually excuse myself and go back home and get upset by it, but I think I just have to do it over and overagain everytime I fall down on my back, am I right?
I feel this is a new beggining for me, and I can finaly act on that promise I made during newyears eve, that I would fight to get rid of my anxeity and not just back down or sit at home playing games trying to ignore it!