skold
10-30-2006, 01:53 PM
This is really the only place where I can interact with those who have issues with anxiety. I'm not exactly sure what has been bothering me. My best guess is it's anxiety. It all started about 2 months ago and has yet to go away; instead, it seems to be getting worse. It was strange because it started alittle before my birthday and I thought the strange feelings I was having was something unconscious in my mind about my age and how I haven't really accomplished all that I wanted to by now. I'm 24 and am now graduate college-- hopefully on my way to graduate school. The fact is, it all worked out for the best.
Anyway, I was just wanting some insight on if the episodes I've been having is what is categorically known as "General Anxiety Disorder." I have a doctor's appointment to discuss this issue Nov 10th, but, I want expert advice now. Who is more of an expert than those who suffer from it? Also, I'm a broke student working a low-paying job so I don't really have lots of money to throw at a doctor-- especially one who isn't as well informed as I am.
The episodes come ago, almost daily in some manner. The last up to hours sometimes, the last time was lastnight and it scared me. Mind the fact that I'm a 190lbs, 5'11" Athletically built guy. I don't get scared easy-- I don't get intimidated easily either. But this can have me on the verge of tears. I'm also extremely extroverted and this issue can have me wanting to be alone for hours.
Lastnight, at work, all seemed well but then I just felt bad and began to sigh alot-- shallow breaths. I don't know where it came from. All I know is I was forgetting things I was to do. I was very scatter-brained. I wasn't talking-- I didn't want to talk. I just had the desire to be alone and cry. It's like I was worried about something but I just didn't know what. My heart was pacing; My mouth dry. I felt like there was no hope in the world-- It was just a FEELING though. I wasn't actually worried about something. I felt like I was, but, didn't know why. I alternated between wanting to punch someone to just wanting to be alone.
This also happens with my girlfriend; she can tell when I'm going through this. She'll see it on my face and ask what's wrong (she's a worrier) and I'll just say, "nothing." When I'm over at her house, it'll hit me and I'll just be completely confused about what to do. I don't know if I should stay or leave. I'll ask her. It seems like I just can't decide either way. I feel like there is a black cloud over me. Once again, on the verge of tears and not knowing why.
I don't know. In class, it hits me and I can barely pay attention. I'll just keep rubbing my forehead, looking at the clock, and trying to get through it.
Each occurence I'll just sit and ruminate. I can't even remember what i think about.
And as easy as it come on; it goes off-- it goes away. I'm back to my old self, laughing and cutting up w/others. Meanwhile, in the back of my head, I suspect I may be making others uncomfortable with it all. "He's sad and then he's happy. He must be bipolar."
Let me articulate it plainly: I am not depressed. The feeling I have are not depressed ones. It's just a feeling of worry where the world gets turned unside out-- where, the world is now in me. All I do is what to think about things in my head when it all happens. It's confusing. I lack the will or ability to really articulate myself when i go through the episodes. I'm afraid I'm going to say something or burst into tears.
Why ask here?
I want to know if anyone shares this with me.
Anyway, I was just wanting some insight on if the episodes I've been having is what is categorically known as "General Anxiety Disorder." I have a doctor's appointment to discuss this issue Nov 10th, but, I want expert advice now. Who is more of an expert than those who suffer from it? Also, I'm a broke student working a low-paying job so I don't really have lots of money to throw at a doctor-- especially one who isn't as well informed as I am.
The episodes come ago, almost daily in some manner. The last up to hours sometimes, the last time was lastnight and it scared me. Mind the fact that I'm a 190lbs, 5'11" Athletically built guy. I don't get scared easy-- I don't get intimidated easily either. But this can have me on the verge of tears. I'm also extremely extroverted and this issue can have me wanting to be alone for hours.
Lastnight, at work, all seemed well but then I just felt bad and began to sigh alot-- shallow breaths. I don't know where it came from. All I know is I was forgetting things I was to do. I was very scatter-brained. I wasn't talking-- I didn't want to talk. I just had the desire to be alone and cry. It's like I was worried about something but I just didn't know what. My heart was pacing; My mouth dry. I felt like there was no hope in the world-- It was just a FEELING though. I wasn't actually worried about something. I felt like I was, but, didn't know why. I alternated between wanting to punch someone to just wanting to be alone.
This also happens with my girlfriend; she can tell when I'm going through this. She'll see it on my face and ask what's wrong (she's a worrier) and I'll just say, "nothing." When I'm over at her house, it'll hit me and I'll just be completely confused about what to do. I don't know if I should stay or leave. I'll ask her. It seems like I just can't decide either way. I feel like there is a black cloud over me. Once again, on the verge of tears and not knowing why.
I don't know. In class, it hits me and I can barely pay attention. I'll just keep rubbing my forehead, looking at the clock, and trying to get through it.
Each occurence I'll just sit and ruminate. I can't even remember what i think about.
And as easy as it come on; it goes off-- it goes away. I'm back to my old self, laughing and cutting up w/others. Meanwhile, in the back of my head, I suspect I may be making others uncomfortable with it all. "He's sad and then he's happy. He must be bipolar."
Let me articulate it plainly: I am not depressed. The feeling I have are not depressed ones. It's just a feeling of worry where the world gets turned unside out-- where, the world is now in me. All I do is what to think about things in my head when it all happens. It's confusing. I lack the will or ability to really articulate myself when i go through the episodes. I'm afraid I'm going to say something or burst into tears.
Why ask here?
I want to know if anyone shares this with me.