southerngentmga
05-18-2011, 08:39 AM
Hello, everyone. I believe I'm having a little problem with Anxiety and Derealization. From my online research,
I'd guess the anxiety is very mild to small compared to what others have gone through that I've read. The derealization, even smaller.
Ok where do I get started.
Here's a little about my dilemma, and where I believe the "source" of my problem is.
I'm 26, never worked, and have been in and out of college ever since high school.
I didnt work mainly because some in my intermediate family had a mentality like "NO, JUST WORRY ABOUT THOSE BOOKS!!!"
and the "books" didnt work out because I never really formed a plan about what I wanted to do and how I wanted to get there.
I was in school just to be there, hanging out, partying, etc.
Well, I finally started to think that hmmm, I have got to do better. I need a plan. I need to plan on a serious career choice and go to school.
Or maybe I should get a job and go back to school later. I do need a work record, maybe both? Plus the simple fact of me never having money to pay for the smallest
of things like going out to the movies, gas, or anything without asking for it from family..is JUST BUGGING ME!!
Even though I had then come into realizing that I needed to pick a career path and/or get a job, I still couldnt (and still cant really) decide
on what that particular career path is, or whether I should just take a random job around town or not, for now.
OK....here's where the problems begin. One day I was sitting at the computer and I'm thinking, "GOD!! I have got to find out what I want to do and
HOW I want to get there. Anything better than just sitting around here!!!"
Then.."IT"...happened. OK, it wasnt as bad as I've read online about anxiety and panic attacks, but I still had this sudden rush of emotion
like "OMG....what I'm gonna do.....Why am I even here on earth...whats my purpose???" It overcame me so greatly that I was pacing back
and forth down the hallways and even went and got in my car and just sat there. I hadnt experienced anything like this before. I was trying
to collect myself, asking "wow what is wrong with me? I'm loosing it....I'm gonna have to tell somebody and get help"
Well, I calmed down finally, shot some basketball outside and everything kind of came back to reality.
It's NEVER gotten as bad as that time again, thank God. However, at random times, I can be just sitting down and suddenly feel the need to get up
and start pacing, feelings really anxious.
At other times (these occur less) I'll get that derealization again where "I'm thinking why am I here" and I have to get up and pace around as well unti I calm down.
Generally these symnptons dont last too long (15-45 mins?), It may happen 2-3 days in a row...then not happen for weeks. It hadnt happened in so long now (maybe almost 2 months)
that I thought these "feelings" were completely gone, but then all of a sudden I had a little episode not too long ago.
Doing more online research, I learned to make a playlist of some "soothing" and "relaxing" music to play when I get this "anxiety" and
it seems to help.
What exactly does it sound like I'm going through or have????
Doesnt that "source" of the problem I named seem to be the real reason why this is even happening anyway???
What should I do now? See a medical professional?? As I said previously, The problems I've had havent been nearly as serious as I read others experience
with anxiety and/or derealization......but I'm afraid one day it might reach that point?? What should I do??
Thanks.
I'd guess the anxiety is very mild to small compared to what others have gone through that I've read. The derealization, even smaller.
Ok where do I get started.
Here's a little about my dilemma, and where I believe the "source" of my problem is.
I'm 26, never worked, and have been in and out of college ever since high school.
I didnt work mainly because some in my intermediate family had a mentality like "NO, JUST WORRY ABOUT THOSE BOOKS!!!"
and the "books" didnt work out because I never really formed a plan about what I wanted to do and how I wanted to get there.
I was in school just to be there, hanging out, partying, etc.
Well, I finally started to think that hmmm, I have got to do better. I need a plan. I need to plan on a serious career choice and go to school.
Or maybe I should get a job and go back to school later. I do need a work record, maybe both? Plus the simple fact of me never having money to pay for the smallest
of things like going out to the movies, gas, or anything without asking for it from family..is JUST BUGGING ME!!
Even though I had then come into realizing that I needed to pick a career path and/or get a job, I still couldnt (and still cant really) decide
on what that particular career path is, or whether I should just take a random job around town or not, for now.
OK....here's where the problems begin. One day I was sitting at the computer and I'm thinking, "GOD!! I have got to find out what I want to do and
HOW I want to get there. Anything better than just sitting around here!!!"
Then.."IT"...happened. OK, it wasnt as bad as I've read online about anxiety and panic attacks, but I still had this sudden rush of emotion
like "OMG....what I'm gonna do.....Why am I even here on earth...whats my purpose???" It overcame me so greatly that I was pacing back
and forth down the hallways and even went and got in my car and just sat there. I hadnt experienced anything like this before. I was trying
to collect myself, asking "wow what is wrong with me? I'm loosing it....I'm gonna have to tell somebody and get help"
Well, I calmed down finally, shot some basketball outside and everything kind of came back to reality.
It's NEVER gotten as bad as that time again, thank God. However, at random times, I can be just sitting down and suddenly feel the need to get up
and start pacing, feelings really anxious.
At other times (these occur less) I'll get that derealization again where "I'm thinking why am I here" and I have to get up and pace around as well unti I calm down.
Generally these symnptons dont last too long (15-45 mins?), It may happen 2-3 days in a row...then not happen for weeks. It hadnt happened in so long now (maybe almost 2 months)
that I thought these "feelings" were completely gone, but then all of a sudden I had a little episode not too long ago.
Doing more online research, I learned to make a playlist of some "soothing" and "relaxing" music to play when I get this "anxiety" and
it seems to help.
What exactly does it sound like I'm going through or have????
Doesnt that "source" of the problem I named seem to be the real reason why this is even happening anyway???
What should I do now? See a medical professional?? As I said previously, The problems I've had havent been nearly as serious as I read others experience
with anxiety and/or derealization......but I'm afraid one day it might reach that point?? What should I do??
Thanks.