lovelyme
04-19-2011, 11:28 AM
So I have had varying levels of anxiety for about 7 years. Some periods of time have been better than others. I have always had this very strong streak of fear running through my life that has been a huge burden and kept me from really enjoying my life. I currently have no friends. In my nursing program at school everyone seems to have bonded and made lifelong friendships and I barely even talk to anyone. At least not in a significant way. At work, I am not as immersed or engaged as I want to be because I am so socially awkward, it's painful. I feel like my internship is going bad because I am slow to adapt, get overstimulated easily, and have difficulty focusing and concentrating in completely new and also fast paced surroundings. I try hard not to, but I always think that there is something completely wrong with me and that I am doomed to experience it forever.
While I am not happy with my life at the moment, i realize that there are positive things to focus on. I keep showing up, and that's important. I used to quit jobs over much less. I have the desire for growth, which is good. I am open to learning, also good. Mostly though, I just feel old and tired of living this way. Life is so short and am afraid that year after year it is just passing me by. I'm ready to do whatever it takes, but I don't even know what to do. It's not easy. I have a family and a child and work and school. I believe that if I was alone it would be much easier to focus on myself, take time outs to reflect, engage in healthy lifestyle, etc. I am hoping that most of it is the stress of school, because it has been VERY intense...
Anyway, I'm not even sure if I have questions or want advice or what. Maybe just a bit of a vent for now. Thank you anyone who is there to listen.
While I am not happy with my life at the moment, i realize that there are positive things to focus on. I keep showing up, and that's important. I used to quit jobs over much less. I have the desire for growth, which is good. I am open to learning, also good. Mostly though, I just feel old and tired of living this way. Life is so short and am afraid that year after year it is just passing me by. I'm ready to do whatever it takes, but I don't even know what to do. It's not easy. I have a family and a child and work and school. I believe that if I was alone it would be much easier to focus on myself, take time outs to reflect, engage in healthy lifestyle, etc. I am hoping that most of it is the stress of school, because it has been VERY intense...
Anyway, I'm not even sure if I have questions or want advice or what. Maybe just a bit of a vent for now. Thank you anyone who is there to listen.