New Member, Ashley, Anxious anxious anxious. Maybe insane.

[antflower]

errrr hi.

What do I say? Who will even bother reading this? I don't care either way, I just want to write.
I'm a nineteen year old female and I struggle with extreme anxiety. My biggest problem is figuring out where it stems from, and trying to "fix" it. I'm afraid that I cannot do that... Not on my own, anyway.

I hardly leave my house. I don't think that is okay, but I dislike hearing all of the sounds of the outside world. They hurt my head. I guess you could say that my senses are very sensitive.

I don't like many things in life, but I love a million things too. I'm very up and down- at the same time. My biggest fear is that my anxiety will control me to the point where it completely takes over my life. I don't want to work. It's not that I don't WANT to work, I mean I am terrified of applying and being interviewed and not knowing how to do things and doing wrongs.

I wonder why I suffer from this. I mean, I am a -very- lucky person. I wasn't always, but I am now at a really great point in my life. Does that even make sense? I don't know.

Anyway that's all for now. My head is a wonky river.

[FelineGrace]

"I hardly leave my house. I don't think that is okay, but I dislike hearing all of the sounds of the outside world. They hurt my head. I guess you could say that my senses are very sensitive."

I completely understand :-/ It's so frustrating to WANT to be in the outside world, but being so offput by what's actually out there. Also, your notes on work, I know what you mean - while I'm in a full time job right now, I hate it. As much as I want to get out, the thought of looking for something new and interviewing and training for a new job....aaarrgggh, it's terrifying! What if I realize too late that I can't handle it? What if I don't get along with the new people? What if, what if, what if...

I don't think many of us know why we suffer from anxiety when we're, overall, "lucky ones." But even though we feel we shouldn't be feeling this way, it's better to acknowledge it and work on it than surpress it. Good for you for not hiding it.