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View Full Version : just to say hi!



kmarie
04-13-2011, 09:43 AM
hey everyone.just wanna say hi and tell u a little bit about my anxiety in the hopes it may help someone else and also so i can vent lol.

Been suffering on and off with anxiety since the age of about 15, usually only focusing on one thing at a time (weight, hair, face, spots etc) but recently It got considerably worse, started to worry about 100 things at once (or so it felt like that at the time) ended up breaking down at work (something I didnt want to do) because id been keeping everything inside and putting on a brave face, work being the main culprit because to be honest i was worrying constantly (and i mean 24/7) about what the people at work thought of me and was so on edge that I got to the point that I couldnt take it anymore.Ended up having a month and a half off work sick, which i thought at the time was a good idea but having been back at work for 3 days now ive realised having time away did me no favours at all, I walked in feeling like a complete outcast, like everyone was staring at me and waiting for me to mess up and calling me behind my back whilst ive been away, It even got that bad that Id convinced myself management was in on the whole thing and they were all plotting against me to get me out!.Had a sleepless night lastnight and felt like complete rubbish this morning but pushed myself anyway and went to work and it wasnt as bad as i thought it was gonna be.I know it sounds like im insane when you read it but to look at me you wouldnt know that there was anything wrong, thats the problem with anxiety, because its not an actual illness that people can see, people just dont seem to think that its real and this can cause problems.anyway thats my story and rant lol.actually having a better day now ive had time to sit down, listen to a bit of music and try to push these stupid thoughts out of my mind!

Ratzinger
04-13-2011, 04:44 PM
Hi kmarie, Welcome to the forum! I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, but we can all relate in one way or another! I also had a sleepless night myself last night, having not suffered an anxiety problem for about 2 weeks. Well done on pushing yourself to go to work, anxiety is something that definitely needs to be fought and not given in to.

On another note, be aware that those people who you think are staring at you might be staring at you just because they are surprised to see you back at work, not because they dislike you. The whole thing with anxiety is that it makes you think the worst of what is going on. So someone might be looking at you and saying "Oh look, there's kmarie back from being sick - I hope she's ok, she looks ok...." and you will be thinking that she is thinking something horrible about you.

Don't give up, and keep going. Understand that a lot of this is in your head, and that also for anyone returning from such a long absence that it is going to take time to readjust. Good luck and stay in touch on the forum!