drmuyo
04-12-2011, 04:37 PM
ok, so here is my story. i never used to have any sort of panic attacks or crippling anxiety.in the past i considered myself to be mildly paranoid and i guess a little bit anxious at times. like if somebody starts walking up to our car as a kid/teen i might think something like "what if they're going to rob us" when they would only want directions. or i would hear an ambulance driving with it's sirens down a nearby street and think it could be a relative in there. but the truth is i never let my stress get to me to the point that i would have panic attacks or constant anxiety, and i eventually managed to quell these feelings as i got older. that was until about two weeks ago...
two weeks to this day, i went off with my friend and a friend of his and did something i regret to this day. we went off to smoke some weed. nothing special, i had done it maybe four or five time before that day. but what made this event special was that it was the first time i got completely "stoned" as you could call it. the first few minutes went by fine, that was, until we entered the mall and walked around. at first it was cool to me, my vision appeared to be skipping and all audible sound slowed down. eventually i had to shake my head or grab my arm to keep from losing consciousness. i started to panic and had what i considered my first panic attack. man, it was bad, really bad...
my heart started beating ridiculously fast and i told my friends about it, they just laughed and told me I'd be fine. after about 10-20 minutes in there, we left the mall and i convinced them to take me home. when i got home i told my dad to take me up to the ER. they did and EKG, took blood and urine, and once my heart slowed down they told me i was fine and that it was just a panic attack. i went home that night and felt fine.
the next morning and the day after, i first developed what you could call depersonalization. i felt that everything i was viewing and hearing was not real or was a dream. but that came and went. for the next day or two i felt basically normal, then it hit me. i started getting panic attacks and mini panic attacks, where my heart rate would get very high for no good reason or it would beat very hard/heavy. when this happened i would use deep breathing and lay down until they went away. unfortunately, other debilitating symptoms of anxiety began to form.
i started to feel tired and fatigued all the time, and still do. my depersonalization isn't as bad, but i still feel slightly detached from everything, not completely emotionally involved. almost as if i woke up to a slight different world then my own.
i also feel like I'm almost always on edge of worry or braking out into panic. even when i don't feel like that, i feel like i could be like that any time. other symptoms i experience are, sensitivity to light, hot flashes on my body, weak legs, body aches, a slightly elevated resting heart rate at times or more notability of my heart rate. a completely decreased aptitude. and general anxiety or worry.
sunday night i had just gotten home from orientation at the new job that i am starting tonight. i felt good, almost as if i didn't have any anxiety at all. then my friend asked me to go hang out with him, while in the shower, i had a sudden panic attack. i managed to calm myself down, but my heart still kept beating slightly faster for another few hours. eventually i had it checked out at the ER. they put a 24 hour holter monitor on me to measure my hearts activity. i am awaiting the results of that but i didnt think anything will show up.
even if I'm having a good day, all it will take is one panic attack to ruin it completely. if i do manage to calm my heart down and relax, there will still be pent up stress inside of me and that stress will cause me to be constantly fatigued and lose any and all appetite. as of now i am doing laundry and going to try to take a nap to calm me before i have to go in for my first day at the new job tonight. i seem to do pretty good upon waking in the morning or a two/three hour nap. but anxiety typically finds it way to creep into my mind and ruin everything. i currently feel better, maybe a little on edge, but i still feel groggy/fatigued, still feel a little detached from everything, and at time feel either stress or sadness from my constant stress.
i guess my question for everyone is, have any of you developed your anxiety from a sudden traumatic event, and had it stick with you for a long time or still have it? i fear these feelings will never leave me, almost as if that initial panic attack at the mall permanently changed something inside me and how i deal with stress. i know this post is a little , but i needed to make as much clear about my situation as i could. i appreciate any and all help. thanks.....
two weeks to this day, i went off with my friend and a friend of his and did something i regret to this day. we went off to smoke some weed. nothing special, i had done it maybe four or five time before that day. but what made this event special was that it was the first time i got completely "stoned" as you could call it. the first few minutes went by fine, that was, until we entered the mall and walked around. at first it was cool to me, my vision appeared to be skipping and all audible sound slowed down. eventually i had to shake my head or grab my arm to keep from losing consciousness. i started to panic and had what i considered my first panic attack. man, it was bad, really bad...
my heart started beating ridiculously fast and i told my friends about it, they just laughed and told me I'd be fine. after about 10-20 minutes in there, we left the mall and i convinced them to take me home. when i got home i told my dad to take me up to the ER. they did and EKG, took blood and urine, and once my heart slowed down they told me i was fine and that it was just a panic attack. i went home that night and felt fine.
the next morning and the day after, i first developed what you could call depersonalization. i felt that everything i was viewing and hearing was not real or was a dream. but that came and went. for the next day or two i felt basically normal, then it hit me. i started getting panic attacks and mini panic attacks, where my heart rate would get very high for no good reason or it would beat very hard/heavy. when this happened i would use deep breathing and lay down until they went away. unfortunately, other debilitating symptoms of anxiety began to form.
i started to feel tired and fatigued all the time, and still do. my depersonalization isn't as bad, but i still feel slightly detached from everything, not completely emotionally involved. almost as if i woke up to a slight different world then my own.
i also feel like I'm almost always on edge of worry or braking out into panic. even when i don't feel like that, i feel like i could be like that any time. other symptoms i experience are, sensitivity to light, hot flashes on my body, weak legs, body aches, a slightly elevated resting heart rate at times or more notability of my heart rate. a completely decreased aptitude. and general anxiety or worry.
sunday night i had just gotten home from orientation at the new job that i am starting tonight. i felt good, almost as if i didn't have any anxiety at all. then my friend asked me to go hang out with him, while in the shower, i had a sudden panic attack. i managed to calm myself down, but my heart still kept beating slightly faster for another few hours. eventually i had it checked out at the ER. they put a 24 hour holter monitor on me to measure my hearts activity. i am awaiting the results of that but i didnt think anything will show up.
even if I'm having a good day, all it will take is one panic attack to ruin it completely. if i do manage to calm my heart down and relax, there will still be pent up stress inside of me and that stress will cause me to be constantly fatigued and lose any and all appetite. as of now i am doing laundry and going to try to take a nap to calm me before i have to go in for my first day at the new job tonight. i seem to do pretty good upon waking in the morning or a two/three hour nap. but anxiety typically finds it way to creep into my mind and ruin everything. i currently feel better, maybe a little on edge, but i still feel groggy/fatigued, still feel a little detached from everything, and at time feel either stress or sadness from my constant stress.
i guess my question for everyone is, have any of you developed your anxiety from a sudden traumatic event, and had it stick with you for a long time or still have it? i fear these feelings will never leave me, almost as if that initial panic attack at the mall permanently changed something inside me and how i deal with stress. i know this post is a little , but i needed to make as much clear about my situation as i could. i appreciate any and all help. thanks.....