Does anyone have this 'problem' with social anxiety groups?

[Robbed]

I don't know how many people here have tried joining any kind of groups for people with social anxiety problems. But I joined one a while back. Anyway, things have actually gone MUCH better for me with this group than I would have EVER expected. I actually REALLY like the people there, and always look forward to actually meeting them. So what could possibly be the problem here? Simply put, it was just too easy. These people seemed to accept me much more easily than other people/groups of people I have tried to meet in the 'real world'. It seems like I have met a GREAT bunch of people to hang out with from time to time (and that alone certainly makes the group worthwhile). However, I haven't really learned anything about interacting with 'real world' people (who are generally not so open and willing to accept me). In this way, I am still at 'square one'. Has anyone else had this same experience?

[Robbed]

What is your differentiation of real world ? I would have thought that interacting with people in any situation would be considered the real world .

The real world is just that - not interacting with people in a social anxiety group. I'm talking about, say, interacting with people back when I was in college. Or interacting with people in the professional world. In these situations, you have to actually prove that you are worthy. Nobody is just going to automatically want to give you the time of day or (heaven forbid) accept you as a human being simply because you are there. They don't have to, because there are SO many other, better people out there. THAT'S the difference.

[Robbed]

I prove nothing to anyone , They take me as i am and if they don't like it then that is their problem not mine . If someone wants to judge me not knowing me , then do i really need to be bothered with that person ??

That depends. If we are simply talking about making friends, then I would have to agree with you. In this situation, the kinds of people I have met in the social anxiety group are probably as close to ideal as I could ever hope to find. But there are other situations where you NEED to be able to get on the good side of people who you would rather not even come face to face with. A prime example of this is the professional world. You have to make a good impression on someone who is harshly judging you in order to get a job in the first place. And then you often have to find a way to not only get along with unpleasant coworkers, but actually be able to be productive when working with them. Remember, sometimes you can't really choose the people you are with. They are just there. Don't get me wrong. I'm fine with a group of people with whom I can go to the Berkeley Hills, sit in a circle on a grassy hilltop, hold hands, and sing songs about hopping on the next BART across the bay to San Francisco with flowers in our hair (okay, we don't really do this, but you get the idea). But the reality is that you can't always choose to be around such people.

[MomDebra]

Robbed,
How did you find a support group in your area?
I am looking for one in West Palm Beach, FL

[Robbed]

I found my group on meetup.com. Just out of curiosity, I looked on meetup.com to see if there is one in your area. There doesn't appear to be a social anxiety group in West Palm Beach (at least on meetup.com). But there is one in Fort Lauderdale: http://www.meetup.com/FTLshyness/. Of course, I live on the complete opposite side of the country, and don't know if this is prohibitively far. However, I would say that it's worth driving a little. If you find that you have extreme difficulties meeting people and feel lonely, this sort of group can TRULY be a godsend.

I should also note that not all social anxiety groups are quite the same. Some tend to be support groups. Others tend to focus more on social activities. Yet others do a little of both. It's hard to say which would be most beneficial. But I think that any type of social anxiety group would probably be beneficial.

[hangingon]

What have the people in your group said about dealing with outside people? Have you asked them the questions you are asking on the board? Just curious.

The people you deal with in the "real world" are not going to change. Having a group of supportive people to give you good memories and a good mood will help in dealing with them. As someone else said, one step at a time. I have heard it said that dealing with anxiety is like a very hard onion, you can't just smash it, you can only keep reducing it one layer at a time. Hopefully, the peeling goes much faster with supportive friends.