It was all going so well...

[NSTTDC]

I've been struggling with anxiety issues (mostly social) for the last 6 or 7 years. I had panic attacks and would avoid certain situations, usually involving alcohol. For the last year or so, my symptoms have almost disappeared, until tonight. It's my friend's birthday night out tonight and I didn't go. The night out is basically a pub crawl, something I have a phobia of for some reason. I've had a few texts from various friends asking where I am. My phone is dying slowly so I'm pretending to not have received them. I feel so bad about it I've just got back from walking around town trying to find them. I know I could have called them back, but I hope there's at least one person here who understands or can relate to why I couldn't bring myself to.

I'm not looking for sympathy here; I know it's a pretty bad thing to blow off someone's birthday for no good reason, but has anyone else done this?

[j2005]

Sounds like your fear is alcohol and avoiding the pubs warded off a panic attack.

Maybe for now, you need to relax and just let your friends know you weren't feeling well enough to go out. Take your friend out to lunch for his birthday.

After you work through some of this anxiety stuff you'll be able to re-engage. Albeit I still can't drink much without feeling the physical sensations that can prompt a panic attack.

James

[Eva]

Hi there, I'm brand new, and I might not have a lot of advice, but I can certainly sympathsize!
I avoid bars/pubs like the plague. If invited out, I will come up with any excuse to not go. They are too crowded, too loud, and can quickly turn into an incredibly awkward situation (and wanting to run right out of the building!). I would (next time around) explain to your friend that you are simply not comfortable with that kind of situation, but you'd love to take them out to lunch (as the previous poster suggested) to celebrate their birthday.
For what its worth, I have never understood wanting to go out and get drunk to 'celebrate'.

[panda]

i can relate, i didn't go to my friends birthday a few months ago because even though the people that were going were my friends i just didn't feel like i could do it, and i was really worried because i have done that a few times now where they've invited me out and i've said no, because i dont want them to think that i don't like them anymore :(