I'm Amanda

[amandacv86]

Hi, I'm Amanda, and I have anxiety that prevents me from going to work. Every day I have to go to work, I get up , shower, but for some reason I get so nervous I can't get dressed other than my pajamas to drive my boyfriend to work and then come home and hibernate in my bedroom for the whole day. This has been going on for two weeks now.
I stayed home one day because I was taking an antibiotic that made me sick and haven't been able to make it since. I don't know what to do.

I don't know what I'm so afraid of now. My boss is really understanding, and I'm lucky to not have been fired so far. She knows I have anxiety. I'm more afraid of the negative comments I'm going to get from my coworkers who don't know. They think I just call in all the time.

At home I live with three other people, and I avoid them so they don't ask questions.

I have animals to care for and I want to save up money so that I can buy pay off my debt and have a family one day.

I'm going to call on monday to make an appointment for a therapist, and I'm going to try to go to work tomorrow, but other than that I don't know how I can keep my job.

That's a little bit about me and what I'm going through right now, any advice is appreciated.

[j2005]

Hey Amanda,

Welcome and hope you feel supported here on the forum.
You're caught in a vicious cycle that you need to break out of. Anxiety has
tricked you into thinking you can't go to work and something bad
will happen. Don't listen to this voice.
I'm glad you are going to see a therapist soon.
Unless you want to endure a lifetime of anxiety break in now!
Read everything you can on understanding anxiety.
Stay in therapy.
But, don't let this win---go to work and fight for your life back
Let us know how we can help,
James

[amandacv86]

Thanks. I have my clothes I'm going to wear tomorrow all set up next to my towel, so It'll be easier. I don't want to talk to my boss. I'm hoping she won't say anything. I did have a long talk with her telling her about my anxiety a few months ago. I hope she'll be understanding. I'm also hoping she won't think I'm not trying to get help, and that it is a choice.

I guess the reason I've never sought out help is because it goes off and on. I'll be fine for a while and then all of a sudden everything collapses... It comes on suddenly and I miss work. Then just as suddenly as it comes on I'll be fine.

Since I've found out it is anxiety I do notice certain things about my "fine" periods. I don't manage things very well. Like I'll be keeping the kitchen really clean and the rest of the house wont be touched. It's they same way with other things I enjoy doing too, like my garden and hobbies.

So I'm not really perfectly fine all the time but managing it better on the outside, KWIM?

Thanks again!

[Ratzinger]

Amanda, beware of low serotonin. It's a common problem (70-80% of Americans have low serotonin) and when it gets very low it can trigger all sorts of anxiety problems. I say this because I noticed that you are saying that you are hibernating in your room. I was doing the same, and it meant I wasn't doing about four of the things that are central to good serotonin - eating fruit, sleeping more than 7 hours, getting exercise and getting sunshine. Doing this can turn normal anxiety into something really nasty. I found that once I turned these factors around, my anxiety didn't go, but it got a lot better. It can take a while for it to change (something I read said it takes about 30 days to change levels) but it is very important.

I used to find that if I went out for a run, or a long walk in the sunshine, then that would often tire me out so I could sleep, and I felt infinitely better. Once this became a routine, a lot of my anxiety lifted. Hope this helps.