Maydays
03-27-2011, 10:21 AM
Hello, I'm Maydays.
Overview:
Officially I am diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder (with a mix of Social Phobia) and Severe Depression. I had OCD when I was 11 (now 23yo) but was considered, "cured" after a few years and am now considered to have OCD "remnants" (behaviours formed from early habits). I also experience a lot of Separation Anxiety from my mother, due to early childhood trauma.
The Issue:
The other day my mother left for her first vacation, to last ten days. I have had to deal with separation of that length before and in recent years. I deal with it decently but some times it just happens where I can't stand it. I think the problem is that she's not just somewhere else locally, she's thousands of miles away and I can't see her if I need her.
The real problem occurring is that although I could probably handle the increased anxiety I'm feeling due to my mother's separation, I also have my boyfriend staying with me while she's gone. That is something that is a grave violation of my natural rhythm! I CANNOT stand anyone else in my home and especially not in my bedroom. It's driving me crazy having him here and we're both still pretty young, I'm 23, he's 21, so the chances of having him able to understand my issue without him taking offense... poor.
Needless to say I'm acting like a complete weirdo, shutting him out at times, breaking down crying occasionally. I really want to be alone but I also know if I don't endure this, I may never get over it and survive to leave home and have a family of my own. I don't know how to endure it though. With my anxiety over my mom I just really want to be alone. But I have put my boyfriend through so many stressful and hurtful situations before that I want him to feel welcome in my home and loved... except I can't show any of that while I'm battling my emotions over an intruder in my private space.
I just don't know what to do.
Overview:
Officially I am diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder (with a mix of Social Phobia) and Severe Depression. I had OCD when I was 11 (now 23yo) but was considered, "cured" after a few years and am now considered to have OCD "remnants" (behaviours formed from early habits). I also experience a lot of Separation Anxiety from my mother, due to early childhood trauma.
The Issue:
The other day my mother left for her first vacation, to last ten days. I have had to deal with separation of that length before and in recent years. I deal with it decently but some times it just happens where I can't stand it. I think the problem is that she's not just somewhere else locally, she's thousands of miles away and I can't see her if I need her.
The real problem occurring is that although I could probably handle the increased anxiety I'm feeling due to my mother's separation, I also have my boyfriend staying with me while she's gone. That is something that is a grave violation of my natural rhythm! I CANNOT stand anyone else in my home and especially not in my bedroom. It's driving me crazy having him here and we're both still pretty young, I'm 23, he's 21, so the chances of having him able to understand my issue without him taking offense... poor.
Needless to say I'm acting like a complete weirdo, shutting him out at times, breaking down crying occasionally. I really want to be alone but I also know if I don't endure this, I may never get over it and survive to leave home and have a family of my own. I don't know how to endure it though. With my anxiety over my mom I just really want to be alone. But I have put my boyfriend through so many stressful and hurtful situations before that I want him to feel welcome in my home and loved... except I can't show any of that while I'm battling my emotions over an intruder in my private space.
I just don't know what to do.