kevinjd
03-15-2011, 10:36 PM
so i havent had an anxiety attack in days...
i kind of think ive found a way to beat it. i talked myself out of the past couple i had in a couple of minutes and also remember when i was a kid, i was afraid of hands grabbing me under my bed, and every day i woke up i was scared they would grab me. then one night i had a dream where i literally beat the ever loving crap out of the hands and i wasnt afraid of them anymore.
i kind of relate this to my anxiety approach...if that makes sense. the hands were an irrational fear just like anxiety is.
now i havent really had a full blown attack in days, and i dont feel too anxious...as a matter of fact i dont feel much at all.
i am currently feeling "blah"...if that makes sense. i dont feel tired or lazy, i just seem to feel apathetic and have no motivation. nothing seems to make me feel really happy and i kind of feel like im sick of life if that makes sense? or at least feel like my life is going nowhere and is somewhat pointless perhaps?
so its kind of like derealization i guess....mental and physical numbness but nothing major....just overall blah, no motivation, no drive, nothing im looking forward to, etc.
also sometimes i get thinking that the thought of having no anxiety makes me anxious and afraid. kind of like i think i will be a different person or something and im so used to having anxiety that the thought of not having anxiety makes me feel like i wouldn't be myself or there would be some kind of void in my life...
i had pretty bad derealization last night...if you could call it that...but it didn't make me anxious...my anxiety was probably at a 1/10...usually i'd panic but i didn't at all...
it's kind of like my anxiety begins to rise but then something inside me just shuts down and the anxiety doesn't escalate...
does anyone know where i'm coming from?
i kind of think ive found a way to beat it. i talked myself out of the past couple i had in a couple of minutes and also remember when i was a kid, i was afraid of hands grabbing me under my bed, and every day i woke up i was scared they would grab me. then one night i had a dream where i literally beat the ever loving crap out of the hands and i wasnt afraid of them anymore.
i kind of relate this to my anxiety approach...if that makes sense. the hands were an irrational fear just like anxiety is.
now i havent really had a full blown attack in days, and i dont feel too anxious...as a matter of fact i dont feel much at all.
i am currently feeling "blah"...if that makes sense. i dont feel tired or lazy, i just seem to feel apathetic and have no motivation. nothing seems to make me feel really happy and i kind of feel like im sick of life if that makes sense? or at least feel like my life is going nowhere and is somewhat pointless perhaps?
so its kind of like derealization i guess....mental and physical numbness but nothing major....just overall blah, no motivation, no drive, nothing im looking forward to, etc.
also sometimes i get thinking that the thought of having no anxiety makes me anxious and afraid. kind of like i think i will be a different person or something and im so used to having anxiety that the thought of not having anxiety makes me feel like i wouldn't be myself or there would be some kind of void in my life...
i had pretty bad derealization last night...if you could call it that...but it didn't make me anxious...my anxiety was probably at a 1/10...usually i'd panic but i didn't at all...
it's kind of like my anxiety begins to rise but then something inside me just shuts down and the anxiety doesn't escalate...
does anyone know where i'm coming from?