kittykat22
03-15-2011, 07:06 PM
I suffer from a range of problems including ocd, nervous ticks, panic attacks and depression on and off, most of the time its not too bad and most people wouldnt even know because I hide it well. I worked hard at college and Uni and gained a degree, not long after uni I got my first job aged 23 working in graphic design. It was a fantastic job, well paid and I really enjoyed it, I had friends and money for the first time and paying off my student debts.
Anyway, basically after a year of working there the company decided to downsize and asked people to leave of their own accord, a few did but I loved my job and I didnt want to. When enough people didnt leave they had to chose people and force them to 'redeploy' within the company. I was the only person chosen to redeploy in my office. I felt it was unfair because I was the only one who had come straight from uni and everyone else had at least 5 years experience. I took it really badly, I felt like they had singled me out. It was very traumatic for me and it really knocked my confidence. They offered me money to leave and I took it. I went into a depression for a while after and I felt so ashamed, I cut off all contact with people I had made friends with because I didnt want them to know I hadnt found another job. I was too scared to even think about looking for work or even updating my CV, I didnt sign on job seekers or seek any help...its now 4 years later and Im even more worried because when I go for another job Im afraid they'll wonder why I havent worked for so long and it might make me less employable and humiliate me in interviews when they ask. I just feel so bad that my hard work at uni will be waisted and I may never find another job.
Anyway, basically after a year of working there the company decided to downsize and asked people to leave of their own accord, a few did but I loved my job and I didnt want to. When enough people didnt leave they had to chose people and force them to 'redeploy' within the company. I was the only person chosen to redeploy in my office. I felt it was unfair because I was the only one who had come straight from uni and everyone else had at least 5 years experience. I took it really badly, I felt like they had singled me out. It was very traumatic for me and it really knocked my confidence. They offered me money to leave and I took it. I went into a depression for a while after and I felt so ashamed, I cut off all contact with people I had made friends with because I didnt want them to know I hadnt found another job. I was too scared to even think about looking for work or even updating my CV, I didnt sign on job seekers or seek any help...its now 4 years later and Im even more worried because when I go for another job Im afraid they'll wonder why I havent worked for so long and it might make me less employable and humiliate me in interviews when they ask. I just feel so bad that my hard work at uni will be waisted and I may never find another job.