Does seeing someone about anxiety work?

[gaara]

I'm considering seeing someone about my anxiety but one thing I'm really struggling with is if they can actually help me or not.

I mean, I know it's important to get a therapist that you're comfortable with and all that stuff but I'm a very analytical person by nature and I've kind of already thought of everything the therapist might do/say and usually the "predicted" responses from the therapist doesn't make me feel any better.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, what could the therapist possibly say or do that i haven't already thought of. I've been through intense anxiety from sept-november and got through it on my own and now it came back and my life seems to have turned upside down.

It's more of an "hopeless/lingering/depressed" anxiety rather than the intense pangs of anxiety I had for 4 months. I've lost interest in many things I never thought I'd lose interest in, I feel like everytime I do something it just isn't the same as it used to, I'm constantly analyzing what I do/how I feel it's all I think about 24/7.

Meditation/sleep/diet all of that doesn't do anything because you know what, I've always managed to have something "solid" to fall back on in my life during these times but now there isn't any sort of escape.

I feel like that I've spent the last 5-6 months constantly thinking about how good my past was and trying to recreate it that now I've lost hope that i'll ever be as happy as I was in the past and now even thinking about the past really intensifies my anxiety because it feels like it was all a dream that i couldn't have been that happy.

I envy people who just have no idea how great it is to be oblivious to all of these things and to not label a bad experience as some sort of stupid disorder.

I feel like going to see someone will just make things worse because it'll further put a label on me that I have some sort of mood disorder anxiety/depression/whatever you know?

I sometimes thing that searching on the internet for an answer just pretty much f'ed me up because it's all I can think about now, to me, I have like every mood disorder in the book and I'm just so sick of thinking about psychiatrists/psychologists/disorders I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL AGAIN!!

Sorry for my long-winded rant that sort of went off a bit there but it helps a very tiny bit to let things out.


So, back on topic, do you think seeing someone will help or make things worse?

[jimmy2shoes]

Hey gaara (naruto character? haha)
I can relate massively. I am also a very analytical person and have been since I can remember. I also thought - how can someone else help me when I know they don't have better insight than i do. Surely I can think of any solution they have to offer. While this was true, what helps is their reinforcement on irrationalities and where we need to focus MORE on correcting them. Like, a lot of the time, we know something is irrational and self-destructive but we DO or think it anyway, for some self pleasing (maybe relief) way. Jealousy is one thing for example, where one may KNOW they are being jealous and its harming the relationship, however the person cannot restrict themselves from behaving in a certain way. Thoughts and behaviours are different things, and as an anxiety sufferer - all we do is think think think.

I can also relate to the mood disorder things. I have thought I had bipolar over several occasions in my anxiety path.. One time my anxiety got so bad, I couldn't sleep and i was googling bipolar and, I actually convinced myself that I was and was going crazy. My anxiety exploded, I actually said to myself I was crazy, and it's over and that was that. My brain ended up shutting down, crashing completely, and I fell asleep, much to my surprise because usually when my anxiety was bad i could never sleep. I woke up, and my anxiety was bad but nothing like the night before, and I said to myself guess im not crazy.

Later down the track, I thoguht i had bipolar because my anxiety would be ok for a while, then i would crash real bad. Stuck in a loop, i would be mildy depressed, have to fight the anxiety, the be ok and think I was getting better. Then, I would crash again and back to square one.

Eventually i couldn't pick myself up anymore. I jumped on meds, and they helped me so much its ridiculous. I'm on my 7th month of taking them and i don't plan on stopping any time soon. I don't care what people say - a lot of people have a go at meds here when they havn't even tried them. And by them i mean anti-depressants (not benzo's - i agree they are the devil). Obvously there are going to be extreme stories - successes and failures...

My anxiety and depression right now is the best it's ever been. Starting to feel like my self again (not just bits of pieces, but the whole thing) slowly but surely. This is around 2-2.5 years after my whole anxiety ordeal started. So i don't know if its time, the meds, the changes in my life, my brain chemistry, or what has happened to make me feel as good as i do now. But I want you to know theres hope, and I can relate to you massivelty. I think being young has a big role in it, my mum had a really tough young adult hood and she said that from 18-25 were her hardest years, then things picked up and you learn to deal with it all better. Everything becomes solidified.

Anyway, Yes i think seeing someone will help. While no my psychologist hardly fixed my anxiety or even 10% of it, she somewhat 'gave me the fishing rod instead of the fish'. If you know what I mean.

Good luck

[LJC]

Hi Gaara

I didn't go to see a therapist for my anxiety but for a different reason (coping with grief), but what I found is that actually saying out loud what you're thinking makes makes the flaws in our assumptions very obvious - also a good therapist asks the right questions - sometimes they'll be very surprising. We all have inherent assumptions which we're unconscious of and these can scupper us.

On a different note, in your message it looks like you have a suspicion that some of your behaviors are exacerbating your anxious feelings and my own experience was the same. I overcame my fears of anxiety eventually by making a decision that what I wanted was my life back, and so I turned my back on the search for a cure/a label/a drug/a herb. I refused to play the game and eventually the anxious feelings disappeared. Anxiety tends to feed on an audience.


With a relapse of anxiety it can have a more depressing quality...having got through anxiety before it's baffling if/when it comes back......I still don't know why we anxiety sufferers have these feelings of fear arising seemingly from nowhere (and I did a lot of research back when I had it bad!) - i may be hormonal or biological - diet related - build up of stress. There are many possible reasons. But I do know irrespective of the reason - if we let them be they'll pass by themselves. Most people have relapses but with experience we get better at recognizing them and they get easier.

In any case, i'm digressing - if you do want to talk to a therapist I would recommend you find someone who specializes in anxiety and is good at it. You can interview a therapist before you start to see them - because we're all different and you know your own mind best....there needs to be compatibility.

Best of luck to you

[neverknowwhen]

Hi

I have been seeing a therapist about my anxiety condition for the last four months. I thought it was all down to a difficult work situation I was experiencing but getting down to it there were many topics that have come up over the last few sessions. She has been very skilled in allowing me each week to explore different aspects to my anxiety.

I had worries about deadlines at work, I had worries about office politics, I had relationship worries, I worried about the future particularly money and to be perfectly honest if I didn't have any worries then I would worry about that because it was a habit.

The therapist has been very skilled in directing me into actually believing that living in the moment and not worrying about the past or future and enjoying life. I still get the odd panic now and then but they are becoming less and less as I understand more about what motivates me and what my mind thinks. For instance I was very surprised to hear a different viewpoint on relationships. I too thought I knew what the therapist would say and that I knew it all, but I didn't because I was still getting anxiety before I saw her.

I gave up once in the beginning when I thought I was there but had a relapse so went back and I advise you if you think you are there to give it some time because every week I am going I am learning new ways of dealing with my thoughts. After all if we can deal with our thoughts then we can deal with anxiety because that is what anxiety is.

I sincerely hope you can find a way to overcome your anxiety problems because as I am beginning to realise there is a way you can live with an anxiety condition and still live a really happy and fulfilled life.

Best of luck

Neverknow when

[gaara]

Hi

I have been seeing a therapist about my anxiety condition for the last four months. I thought it was all down to a difficult work situation I was experiencing but getting down to it there were many topics that have come up over the last few sessions. She has been very skilled in allowing me each week to explore different aspects to my anxiety.

I had worries about deadlines at work, I had worries about office politics, I had relationship worries, I worried about the future particularly money and to be perfectly honest if I didn't have any worries then I would worry about that because it was a habit.

The therapist has been very skilled in directing me into actually believing that living in the moment and not worrying about the past or future and enjoying life. I still get the odd panic now and then but they are becoming less and less as I understand more about what motivates me and what my mind thinks. For instance I was very surprised to hear a different viewpoint on relationships. I too thought I knew what the therapist would say and that I knew it all, but I didn't because I was still getting anxiety before I saw her.

I gave up once in the beginning when I thought I was there but had a relapse so went back and I advise you if you think you are there to give it some time because every week I am going I am learning new ways of dealing with my thoughts. After all if we can deal with our thoughts then we can deal with anxiety because that is what anxiety is.

I sincerely hope you can find a way to overcome your anxiety problems because as I am beginning to realise there is a way you can live with an anxiety condition and still live a really happy and fulfilled life.

Best of luck

Neverknow when

Thanks for the advice, and I'm really glad you're getting better.

I went to go see my counselor at school (althought she's not a therapist or something she may refer me to one) but I let everything out to her and it didn't make me feel any better. I still feel flat and sort of "floating around".

My biggest worry is that I have forgotten what happiness feels like. I can remember good times but I can't actually "feel" the memory if you know what I'm talking about. I'm not feeling really low or anything(althought it does sometimes get to that point) but it's more of a weird feeling.

For example:

Going to see my girlfriend and her mom for dinner tonight. I used to LOVE doing that, it was always so fun we'd talk/laugh whatever but now I just feel empty about it. Why? It's so alien to me, It's such a discouraging feeling. I used to be able to get out of tough times just by remembering the good times and literally feeling the feeling of being happy whenever I thought of the good times but now it's been so long since I've felt that that I don't know how I can feel that again or WHY something that always used to make me happy gives me no real emotion anymore.

This is something that I have a tough time believing that a therapist might solve no matter how much you delve into my life and my problems. I'm willing to give it a try but my hopes aren't up.

All I need to do is just FEEL happiness, feel normal again even for just a minute, that will give me hope and I can build on that..until then I'm just sort of living day-by-day.

Really really hope I can get back on my feet. Sometimes I wish I had my old anxiety back because at least then I KNEW what I was thinking was irrational and I ALWAYS had moments of breaks where i'd feel like myself again. That's how I was able to get back on my feet, building on the little moments of normal-ness and using that as hope and fuel to drive me to get better.

Thanks for the replies!

[Robbed]

From my experiences, the degree to which seeing someone can help you depends GREATLY on the quality of that person you are seeing. I personally didn't have very good luck with therapists. None of them really seemed to have the answer to my problems any more than your average Joe on the street. And they all just seemed to want to throw me into that 'chemically imbalanced, SO hopelessly diseased that I will need to be on meds for the rest of my life' trash heap. I also felt like there was neither any understanding nor respect on their part for who I am as a person. Now it's true that there are GREAT therapists out there. People here on this forum have even spoke of them. But I never was lucky enough to find one. Then again, an awesome therapist for one person might not be so awesome for someone else. And, admittedly, I don't seem to be a very easy person for most people to deal with or figure out.


Eventually i couldn't pick myself up anymore. I jumped on meds, and they helped me so much its ridiculous. I'm on my 7th month of taking them and i don't plan on stopping any time soon. I don't care what people say - a lot of people have a go at meds here when they havn't even tried them. And by them i mean anti-depressants (not benzo's - i agree they are the devil). Obvously there are going to be extreme stories - successes and failures...

The BIG problem with medications is that they are unpredictable. This is ESPECIALLY true with antidepressants vs benzos (benzos seem to be a little more consistent). On average, antidepressants hurt as many people as they help. And, while some people can get off them fairly easily, other people will experience worse withdrawal than they EVER would with benzos. This is why I feel the way that I do about antidepressants. You seem to have gotten lucky with them. But for every person like you out there, there is someone who has gone through hell on them. And those just don't sound like good odds to me. Especially if I have not tried everything that I could WITHOUT meds.

[gaara]

I've decided i'm going to see someone about this. It's come to a point where yes I have anxiety but I also have depression and loss of sex drive which is really really bothering me.

How can I not look at a girl or porn or something and not really get into it?? This has never happened to me even in the past when my anxiety has been really bad i ALWAYS had a sex drive. Something is clearly wrong with me other than my mindset.

It's just put me down over the past couple of weeks and now i'm really losing hope. I don't know if anyone has ever had this but man oh man it's really putting me down and sort of raising my anxiety.

[Robbed]

How can I not look at a girl or porn or something and not really get into it?? This has never happened to me even in the past when my anxiety has been really bad i ALWAYS had a sex drive. Something is clearly wrong with me other than my mindset.

Just remember that, if you see someone and they insist you take meds, most of the commonly prescribed medications for anxiety carry a loss of sex drive as a side effect. In fact, this is one the most common reasons why people discontinue antidepressants. And, to make matters worse, this particular side effect can sometimes be quite persistant after discontinuing the medication (it can last for months or more).

As for something being wrong besides your mindset, remember that you have depression/anxiety. Your mindset/thoughts/beliefs lead to stress. And stress leads to depression/anxiety. However, once you have an active case of depression/anxiety, your symptoms (such as loss of sex drive) are NOT the direct result of some hidden thoughts that you might be having. They are simply symptoms of depression/anxiety. And your symptoms will abate when depression/anxiety abates.

[gaara]

Just remember that, if you see someone and they insist you take meds, most of the commonly prescribed medications for anxiety carry a loss of sex drive as a side effect. In fact, this is one the most common reasons why people discontinue antidepressants. And, to make matters worse, this particular side effect can sometimes be quite persistant after discontinuing the medication (it can last for months or more).

As for something being wrong besides your mindset, remember that you have depression/anxiety. Your mindset/thoughts/beliefs lead to stress. And stress leads to depression/anxiety. However, once you have an active case of depression/anxiety, your symptoms (such as loss of sex drive) are NOT the direct result of some hidden thoughts that you might be having. They are simply symptoms of depression/anxiety. And your symptoms will abate when depression/anxiety abates.


You're right. I remember when this flat/depressed feeling first started I was like "wow i'm not interested in anything etc.." then for some reason I got a huge boost of happiness/energy and instantly I felt "normal" and just me again but it only lasted for a few days.

Since then I haven't gotten that back and from tons of researching I've put myself through a living hell because whatever symptom i had, i researched it and i went from thinking i had scizophrenia, bipolar, depression, etc..

now i dunno what i am anymore