YungandAnxious
02-07-2011, 02:18 PM
Hey, I just joined this forum today, my names actually chris. My social anxiety started about 2 years ago, I was hangin with my friend Aaron trying to get some weed (we were both major potheads). Anyway I got the word from my other friend Mike about this guy who lived around the block from me so me and my friend Aaron went there. At the time I was sort of aware of my social anxiety and thought I was slowing getting rid of it. We made it to his house and explained our situation and he said he could hook us up but we had to walk somewhere and we were of course lazy potheads so we said fuck that, got his # and went back to my house. Aaron stayed the night and the next day we met up with him and got our weed but he wanted us to smoke with him at the time I was absolutly positive that I'd be fine cuz I was perfectly chill when I was high. So we were in the basement breaking up the weed in a grinder and for some reason I started feeling this overwelming fear looking at the weed and thinking about smoking. Now we were smoking in his basement when his dad was home, and his only rules were to blow the smoke through this filter, keep quite and act normally. Well as I started to smoke the fear skyrocketed, I thought about when I was little and had ADD and how I couldn't sit still (I was on meds for 7 years before I calmed down and got off). And it hit me like staring in the devils eyes, I was absolutely frightend and couldn't sit still, my knees kept shaking, felt like I couldn't focus and the scariest most embaressing thing is I kept flinching back my head and shaking it. My friend Aaron and my new friend (his name was Mick) didn't say anything about it but I kept reading the signs that they were trying to confort me with laughing and shit. So finally we finish the blunt and we were about to head back to my house after me trembling and feeling the most frightening feeling that I thought a human could ever handle. We got up to leave and I felt the most happy, safe, free feeling of my life, but what I wasn't aware of is that we still had to make it past his dad. I acted completly fine leaving and made it past his dad after answering a few personal questions. As we walked home my high started to kick in and I felt free, safe and happy but I handn't noticed that I had just developed social anxiety...