Hello

[Jenn]

Let me begin by saying I'm so glad to have found this site. I was diagnosed with Anxiety in early January and the past few weeks have been some of the most bewildering of my life. I'm a 38 year old woman who thought I could tackle anything. Unfortunately, I feel like the pressures I put on myself have definitely contributed what I'm going through now. My Doctor started me on a low dose of Clonazepam, which I have tried to come off of twice(I know, I know...I should not have done that), which only seemed to worsen my anxiety. I've really never learned to "live in the moment" but instead always worry about the future and how I will eventually mess up my life somehow. I don't want my anxiety to run my life. I hope to be able to connect with anxiety sufferers who understand how I'm feeling. My hope is that we can all help each other through this.

[nicola]

Hi Jenn, I feel just the same... im 38 almost and have recently being diagnosed with anxiety, I hate the feeling that I get from my anxiety the overwhelming fear of death the hot sweats, headaches pains in my chest, arms, especially when I cant understand why i'm getting them...the doc just says ohh nicola your a busy mum!! but when your so used to been in control and then this dark anxiety cloud hangs over taking over me drives me inane, I hate not been able to come with the feelings...I hate feeling weak and its ruining my life and my relationship. Doc has given me sertaline and im dreading starting them because im scared of the side effects with are anxiety attacks!!! its like right I feel so low but find it had to take meds to meake me better..plus im scared that I will be relying on a tab to make me live!! I want to just be myself again..hope this makes sense.

[Jenn]

So nice to meet you, Nicola. I can totally relate to the feeling of loss of control. It's maddening! For about the first two weeks into my anxiety I was angry with myself for being weak and I felt like an absolute burden to anyone who was trying to help me. I kept telling myself to pull it together but it's a whole lot easier said than done. I also can relate to not wanting to take the meds. I also do not want to depend on them for the rest of my life but I have come to terms with it. I take the lowest dose possible and in the meantime, I try to put the pieces of the puzzle together to try to figure out what triggered these episodes. At first, like you, I could not put a finger on it, however, in the last few days I've recognized that there were new situations in my life that caused me to put a tremendous amount of pressure on myself. For some reason I find it difficult to just live in the moment and enjoy it. Instead, I obsess and worry constantly. I do believe that all of my obsessing and worrying eventually wore me down. Now it's all about how I control these behaviours and enjoy life. It's going to be an uphill battle because I've always done it to a degree but I'm determined. Nicola, please be patient with yourself. The answers don't come right away but with a little self examination, and insights from others, they will appear to you. Coming to this forum is the first step in the right direction. Hang in there. You are NOT alone.

[Jenn]

What you are saying makes perfect sense. See, my whole problem seems to be rushing to the solution,and in the process, dragging my overtired mind along for the ride. Thank you for the advice, Kev.