Dr. Rockso
02-07-2011, 12:39 AM
It's been bugging me since it happened (ruined an otherwise great day) and after making things worse by reading online that I couldn't even do anything about this legally if I wanted to, I just needed someplace to talk to fellow anxiety sufferers who might have been in a similar situation.
I finally had a day off work after a six day work week and, since the weather was almost spring-like today, I decided to clear some of the snow from the yard so my dog could wander around out there for a bit.
It would help to explain I live in a suburban area, so a typical area with 2-3 story houses on all sides, and a condo with the balcony area overlooking all the yards a few houses down.
Well, as I'm outside shoveling snow, I hear someone yelling. There's no one else outside but me, and the yelling is echoing from somewhere, not solid, like if someone was standing in the next yard over or something. Anyway, as this continues on, I realize this person is yelling at me.
Basically, it went like this:
Hey, you! <insert homophobic slur here>, you shovel that snow like a <insert homophobic slur here>! You long-haired <insert homophobic slur here>! I cut the ponytails offa <insert homophobic slur here> like you! You're not a man, you stupid <insert homophobic slur here>!
I just ignored it and finished shoveling as the person continued on in this manner, then went into the alleyway where it stopped (which I suppose meant I was out of his line of sight), then went and sat out front for a few minutes, somewhat shaken, before going back in the house.
What really bothered me most about it, was the fact that I couldn't see who it was or where it was coming from! I didn't dare actually stop to look around because I knew it would probably only spur him on, and also the fact that even if he was just drunk/having a laugh at my expense, there was more genuine hate in his voice then the typical "Dur hur you loser!" type ribbing I've experience in the past for, well, not conforming to societies norms (being the long haired/mutton chopped metalhead type that I am).
It was also a terrible feeling being outside and all alone while this went on. I might as well have been the only person in the entire neighborhood while it went on, completely helpless against someone I couldn't even see.
Then there was the whole idea of this guy knowing what I look like and knowing where I live and I keep thinking that this guy could easily just come to my HOUSE one day and give me a hard time (or worse), and I'd have no idea who to look out for.
When my mother came home from shopping, I told her that I shoveled the walk and also about the incident and I panicked and grabbed her coat to pull her inside when she went outside (to see where I shoveled) because I was convinced she was going to try and see what was going on and that something would happen.
I'm also really worried if this is going to be an ongoing thing I'll experience every time I go into my yard. I do have a garden, I like to BBQ and in the summer spend a lot of time outside with the dog and I keep thinking what if this guy keeps this up? Or did he just pick me because I happened to be outside at the time and it could have been anyone?
Ugh. I guess... this is a really open-ended post without any real means of resolution other than to just go back out there and hope it doesn't happen again (not that I'd know what to do if it does, I mean I don't know this guy and what he's capable of); it happened and I just needed to get it out of my system, in hopes that it might help me feel a little more at ease over the whole thing, y'know?
I finally had a day off work after a six day work week and, since the weather was almost spring-like today, I decided to clear some of the snow from the yard so my dog could wander around out there for a bit.
It would help to explain I live in a suburban area, so a typical area with 2-3 story houses on all sides, and a condo with the balcony area overlooking all the yards a few houses down.
Well, as I'm outside shoveling snow, I hear someone yelling. There's no one else outside but me, and the yelling is echoing from somewhere, not solid, like if someone was standing in the next yard over or something. Anyway, as this continues on, I realize this person is yelling at me.
Basically, it went like this:
Hey, you! <insert homophobic slur here>, you shovel that snow like a <insert homophobic slur here>! You long-haired <insert homophobic slur here>! I cut the ponytails offa <insert homophobic slur here> like you! You're not a man, you stupid <insert homophobic slur here>!
I just ignored it and finished shoveling as the person continued on in this manner, then went into the alleyway where it stopped (which I suppose meant I was out of his line of sight), then went and sat out front for a few minutes, somewhat shaken, before going back in the house.
What really bothered me most about it, was the fact that I couldn't see who it was or where it was coming from! I didn't dare actually stop to look around because I knew it would probably only spur him on, and also the fact that even if he was just drunk/having a laugh at my expense, there was more genuine hate in his voice then the typical "Dur hur you loser!" type ribbing I've experience in the past for, well, not conforming to societies norms (being the long haired/mutton chopped metalhead type that I am).
It was also a terrible feeling being outside and all alone while this went on. I might as well have been the only person in the entire neighborhood while it went on, completely helpless against someone I couldn't even see.
Then there was the whole idea of this guy knowing what I look like and knowing where I live and I keep thinking that this guy could easily just come to my HOUSE one day and give me a hard time (or worse), and I'd have no idea who to look out for.
When my mother came home from shopping, I told her that I shoveled the walk and also about the incident and I panicked and grabbed her coat to pull her inside when she went outside (to see where I shoveled) because I was convinced she was going to try and see what was going on and that something would happen.
I'm also really worried if this is going to be an ongoing thing I'll experience every time I go into my yard. I do have a garden, I like to BBQ and in the summer spend a lot of time outside with the dog and I keep thinking what if this guy keeps this up? Or did he just pick me because I happened to be outside at the time and it could have been anyone?
Ugh. I guess... this is a really open-ended post without any real means of resolution other than to just go back out there and hope it doesn't happen again (not that I'd know what to do if it does, I mean I don't know this guy and what he's capable of); it happened and I just needed to get it out of my system, in hopes that it might help me feel a little more at ease over the whole thing, y'know?