Dylan123
02-02-2011, 04:18 PM
Hi.
I suffer from anxiety and (extremely) low self-esteem. Often I feel like I'm going to go crazy. My thoughts race and I have about two negative thoughts in the space of a second. This continues for most of the day. I don't make new friends because I know I won't be comfortable in the long run. I might feel okay starting a conversation but I know the anxiety will come sooner or later - usually sooner. I'm scared of admitting I suffer from an anxiety disorder, because I think people will see me as weak, or think that I am somehow afraid of them. I guess, in a way, I am.. but it's more about me than them. I have been afraid for so long I'm not sure what I am even afraid of.
In my mind I replay past events and my role in them. These replays are always bad. I am filled with regrets and worries.
I enjoy the few minutes after I have woken up in the morning the most (only on a free day though), because my brain needs some time to fire up before the full force of negativity and anxiety hits me.
I don't know what to do anymore and am considering suicide.
I feel like I inhabit the twilight between life and death. Not dead yet; not really here either.
There is a shimmer of hope in me things might get better, but I am losing faith I can ever recover from the places I have been.
That's me.
I suffer from anxiety and (extremely) low self-esteem. Often I feel like I'm going to go crazy. My thoughts race and I have about two negative thoughts in the space of a second. This continues for most of the day. I don't make new friends because I know I won't be comfortable in the long run. I might feel okay starting a conversation but I know the anxiety will come sooner or later - usually sooner. I'm scared of admitting I suffer from an anxiety disorder, because I think people will see me as weak, or think that I am somehow afraid of them. I guess, in a way, I am.. but it's more about me than them. I have been afraid for so long I'm not sure what I am even afraid of.
In my mind I replay past events and my role in them. These replays are always bad. I am filled with regrets and worries.
I enjoy the few minutes after I have woken up in the morning the most (only on a free day though), because my brain needs some time to fire up before the full force of negativity and anxiety hits me.
I don't know what to do anymore and am considering suicide.
I feel like I inhabit the twilight between life and death. Not dead yet; not really here either.
There is a shimmer of hope in me things might get better, but I am losing faith I can ever recover from the places I have been.
That's me.