crxman321
08-23-2006, 02:35 PM
This is kinda confusing for me to understand myself but maybe someone will know what i'm saying. I have real bad Anxiety and i've been talking to a Girl here lately Anyways I have a terribly hard time Trusting anyone it seems like its about impossible for me to do. Not knowing anything for sure freaks me out . I got on yahoo and she was online but she wasn't at her computer. I started leaving her Messages so she would see them when she came back. I didnt use any foul language or anything like that. I was just thinking about stuff we had talked about. But when I think about stuff instantly! and i mean Instantly Questions upon Questions start attacking me Like what does she think of him? has she done that? does she know this guy? and ect. sigh its really bad :( She left me messages before I got online to so she got me thinking and i just started typing. The thoughts eat me up inside they have complete control over me it seems. I dont know what to do sigh Girls dont respond to well to Guys like this i know that for a fact I dont wanna be like this. All the feelings just happen theres nothing i can do. I almost get sick my face gets red and my forehead gets warm and my heat beats super fast and the feeling in my stomach is almost like a pain its so strong that it bothers me more then anything. my hands pour with sweat and i feel like im high pretty much idk what that all is. It turns out that this Girls DAD was reading everything i was typing he finally im'd me and goes stop acting like your scared your the control freak you always were. sigh then he said something about me just playing games ...Its true i ask her alot of questions about things she says. and i wonder alot also but i dont think im trying to control her like im not trying to get her to believe me in what i tell her. i have never thought like that just the thoughts them selves that attack bother me I'm not trying to upset her or change her. Maybe i come off like that? idk :cry: I wanna feel safe and i just wanna know whats going on i know with me i take it far but it bothers me that much.