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View Full Version : What to do about a friend?



Robbed
01-27-2011, 04:15 PM
I have a friend who I have known for almost 20 years. He's certainly not a bad guy. But he has a SERIOUS problem with OCD, as well as general depression and anxiety. He has always had these problems. But it seems like they just get worse and worse. He has been on and off various SSRIs over the years. And these drugs seem to do little to nothing for him apart from causing side effects (which ultimately motivate him to get off the drugs, only to restart them when he feels particularly bad). He has tried therapy on and off. But I don't know if the therapists are any good OR whether he is committed. Of course, there is little I can do about this. Regardless of what anyone says (myself included), he is going to do what he is going to do.

Anyway, my REAL issue is hanging out with him, and the effect this has on me. Basically, it just REALLY stresses me out to be with him these days. His STRONG obsessions, as well as his overpowering insistance for me to indulge them is REALLY taxing for me (especially when he turns it all around on me, and suggests that my frustration with his antics is the result of MY anxiety problems!). Given my own problems, I would rather not deal with this. Perhaps the worst part of it all is that I think he REALLY needs SOMEBODY. And there just aren't alot of people out there for him. When I'm not around, he seldom gets out of the house. And because this tends to make him feel bad, he kind of looks at me as his 'pillar of strength'. But let's face it, I don't have it all together, either. And when he calls, I find myself just not wanting to answer the phone.

Any advice? Honestly, I feel bad about leaving him 'out in the cold' like I do. But what could I do to be a friend to this guy without having his condition drag me down?

mamascrazy1985
01-27-2011, 04:43 PM
Have you tried talking to him? I have a similar problem except for im the one thats being cut off. My best friend doesnt know what to do with me either i guess and to be honest it has really hurt my feelings. though i am not dependant on her for anything but most of the time when i talk to her i share all my problems with her. she went off on me one night and we havent been the same since. i dont share hardly anything with her anymore and we barely hang out. and as her sons godmom it hurts even worse. so when you do talk to your friend be as gentle as possible and DO NOT CUT HIM OFF. this will cause more stress for him. in my opinion anyway. so whatever you choose to do be as gentle as possible and think about what you are going to say before you call or talk to him.