CoffeeisGood
01-25-2011, 01:25 PM
Hi folks,
I've posted on here a few times as TheEditor – but with the new forum I can't access my login. So I'm back as CoffeeisGood.
As you may remember (or not), I was diagnosed with GAD at 18 after a serious meltdown which led to agoraphobia, social anxiety and about 3 months of insanity. After seeing two therapists and a psychiatrist (at my excellent GP's demand), I was given 40mg of celexa per day.
A few years ago, I was able to get down to 20 mg per day and tried getting off entirely, which didn't quite work out –*I'm in a high pressure (editor of a newspaper) job and my wife has a biliary disease which gives her a great deal of pain, nausea and fatigue regularly, and couldn't quite make it.
This last year, things have been hard.
In early August, a neighbour was targetting me and harassing me –*he was a 17-year-old punk kid who blasted music that rattled my stove, banged on walls and ceiling whenever he saw me and was a general ass. This drove me batty and I ended up staying with my parents for his last two weeks in the building (he was kicked out for said behaviour). This was also right before my September wedding, which was likely a big cause of stress as well.
The week after the wedding, my wife had her second surgery in a year to try and fix her disease –*it didn't work. In fact, some of the pain got worse. This caused my anxiety to flare up again, and in early October, I, along with my GPs advice, increased my dosage of celexa to 40mg again. After that, I was fine –*no issues at all.
But on the Jan 14th (Friday) my young dog (3.5 yrs) was diagnosed with a mast cell tumor –*effecitvely cancer. I just totally lost it. Within a week, he had a surgery and we had results indicating that the excision of the tumor was likely curative.
In the past, once the trauma, frightening situation, or change, has passed, I'm able to resume function without any lingering anxiety. This week hasn't happend yet. I'm still getting small attacks off and on and emotional ups and downs.
For example, I went home last night and my wife was working late. I thought I saw a lump on the dog's back (it was just some fur sitting funny) and I went into a tail spin. I was able to calm myself down, signed up for e-Counselling with my EAP and just nulled my brain playing videogames for a couple of hours. Once my wife was home we had a nice dinner and I got to bed early, hoping a good sleep would help.
At 3:30 this morning, she woke me up in a panic needing her pain meds because she got a major pain and nausea attack. I was able to function well enough to get her calmed and drugged and back to bed. We both called in sick to work for the morning and planned to go in at noon.
When I woke up around 10:30, I woke up full of anxiety, like I have the last several days. Her illness is a part of life for us; with the exception of a few of the incidents I've listed above, I've dealt rather well with it, been able to take care of her and continue to function, albeit with a bit more stress and a little more tired than usual.
Right now I'm at work, having a bit of trouble focusing. I feel tired. I feel like I'm on the verge of either total recovery or total meltdown. It's as if a good night's rest and a good meal will make me feel better, like when you're getting over the flu. But I wake up with the exhaustion of an anxiety-filled day and the difficulty getting interested, involved and focussed.
I have two things to ask:
1. What's your best advice for shaking off this lingering anxiety and preventing it from attacking again like it has with big events (dog has a vet appt on Fridy and I'm already scared as hell);
2. What can I tell my wife to help her handle all of this? It's not fair that she's dealing with her own illness and then has to worry about me and my anxiety.
Thanks for all your time and I'm glad to be back on the forum.
I've posted on here a few times as TheEditor – but with the new forum I can't access my login. So I'm back as CoffeeisGood.
As you may remember (or not), I was diagnosed with GAD at 18 after a serious meltdown which led to agoraphobia, social anxiety and about 3 months of insanity. After seeing two therapists and a psychiatrist (at my excellent GP's demand), I was given 40mg of celexa per day.
A few years ago, I was able to get down to 20 mg per day and tried getting off entirely, which didn't quite work out –*I'm in a high pressure (editor of a newspaper) job and my wife has a biliary disease which gives her a great deal of pain, nausea and fatigue regularly, and couldn't quite make it.
This last year, things have been hard.
In early August, a neighbour was targetting me and harassing me –*he was a 17-year-old punk kid who blasted music that rattled my stove, banged on walls and ceiling whenever he saw me and was a general ass. This drove me batty and I ended up staying with my parents for his last two weeks in the building (he was kicked out for said behaviour). This was also right before my September wedding, which was likely a big cause of stress as well.
The week after the wedding, my wife had her second surgery in a year to try and fix her disease –*it didn't work. In fact, some of the pain got worse. This caused my anxiety to flare up again, and in early October, I, along with my GPs advice, increased my dosage of celexa to 40mg again. After that, I was fine –*no issues at all.
But on the Jan 14th (Friday) my young dog (3.5 yrs) was diagnosed with a mast cell tumor –*effecitvely cancer. I just totally lost it. Within a week, he had a surgery and we had results indicating that the excision of the tumor was likely curative.
In the past, once the trauma, frightening situation, or change, has passed, I'm able to resume function without any lingering anxiety. This week hasn't happend yet. I'm still getting small attacks off and on and emotional ups and downs.
For example, I went home last night and my wife was working late. I thought I saw a lump on the dog's back (it was just some fur sitting funny) and I went into a tail spin. I was able to calm myself down, signed up for e-Counselling with my EAP and just nulled my brain playing videogames for a couple of hours. Once my wife was home we had a nice dinner and I got to bed early, hoping a good sleep would help.
At 3:30 this morning, she woke me up in a panic needing her pain meds because she got a major pain and nausea attack. I was able to function well enough to get her calmed and drugged and back to bed. We both called in sick to work for the morning and planned to go in at noon.
When I woke up around 10:30, I woke up full of anxiety, like I have the last several days. Her illness is a part of life for us; with the exception of a few of the incidents I've listed above, I've dealt rather well with it, been able to take care of her and continue to function, albeit with a bit more stress and a little more tired than usual.
Right now I'm at work, having a bit of trouble focusing. I feel tired. I feel like I'm on the verge of either total recovery or total meltdown. It's as if a good night's rest and a good meal will make me feel better, like when you're getting over the flu. But I wake up with the exhaustion of an anxiety-filled day and the difficulty getting interested, involved and focussed.
I have two things to ask:
1. What's your best advice for shaking off this lingering anxiety and preventing it from attacking again like it has with big events (dog has a vet appt on Fridy and I'm already scared as hell);
2. What can I tell my wife to help her handle all of this? It's not fair that she's dealing with her own illness and then has to worry about me and my anxiety.
Thanks for all your time and I'm glad to be back on the forum.