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View Full Version : In need of help please! :(



AAA308
01-18-2011, 09:11 PM
I am a 20 year old college student. I have had anxiety and the random panic attacks in the past that are very scary. Recently I have had very consistent ones but this time its over certain things that make no sense at all. I will tell my short story about what has been hurting my life recently and hopefully I can gain some positive feedback or if anyone can relate please help.

About a month ago when I started up my winter break I had been playing video games extensively and drinking coffee. I went to go to bed around 4am and sat in bed... my eye hurt for a second and then I started to think about the attachments we have behind our eyeballs. It began to panic me and I broke out into a panic attack. Just thinking about how we have those inside us and our body is made up of stuff like that which have such a huge impact on us was overwhelming to think about and even cheeped me out. I made it through the night then was scarred because it was so weird I would have a panic attack over such a thing that it began to trigger more of the same eye panic attacks. I was able to talk myself out of stuff like that but then the other day I started thinking about our brains. Like, whoa... I have a gross squishy thing in my head that possesses all of these crazy abilities.. and it triggered a panic attack... Just thinking about my brain and that the squishy thing inside my is actually there, panics me. Its unreal, it like I never thought about it that closely before.

I took a biology course this term and learned about the human heart and it hit me that that gross organ is inside of me, and i stopped my thought immediately. I wonder if actually learning about biological features freaked me out subconsciously and it popped up after the term was over. I mean... we say we have a brain, but dang when we think about how crazy it is, it is overwhelming.

Anyways, I feel so crazy and I even went to see a therapist for the first time because I was so freaked out about my thoughts and actions lately. I have never taken medications nor do I want to. They basically told me I have panic attacks and panic disorder. I have a second appointment coming up. It makes me feel better to be around my girlfriend or friends because I dont think about it as much or worry.

I just feel so weird that now all of a sudden I am freaking out that I have a brain and what not, and its overwhelming. When im not panicking about it, im panicking that ill panic about it again. And then I just think about how damn weird that is to panic over... I know it sounds all bad.

I may have just been not doing anything and worked myself into my own head over this whole thing. My semester starts back up tomorrow and I just started a great job today. Maybe i can get out of my own head about my body parts? I am not used to having these thoughts really, but I have been known to get inside my own head and psyc myself out of stuff. The other night I went to the club with my girlfriend and her friends. I had a great time, saw some friends I haven't seen in a while and didnt have a worry on my mind. But then after that, a day after , I got the panic again about my weird thoughts.

If anyone has positive feedback, or advice, I would love to hear it.

anxiety-king
01-18-2011, 09:18 PM
IM no doctor, but to me sounds like OCD of obessive thoughts. Once your anxiety picks up the thoughts that scare you or anything that could be unstable or feel dangerous to you, then its almost a cycle of thoughts that will continue to haunt you. As I have sadly learned after many many months, these thoughts are harmless, however the fear of thinking these things repeatively continously bogs you down and this is what you must break. I AM NOT SCARED OF THESE THOUGHTS!!!!!! You must learn a way of not being scared or intimidated by your own thoughts, once you have broken this the strength of the anxiety will not be as intense and hopefully you will be able to control your thoughts more often.

Sorry if this sounds like crap, just going by my own experience of suffering anxiety.

AAA308
01-18-2011, 09:25 PM
Yeah it seems it helps to talk to myself or laugh about it and tell myself... well uhhh what could you do without your brain? or your eyes? or whatever it may be. And have to talk myself out of it. Basically laugh at myself a bit lol. My mom actually told me to think about researching farther into it, like anatomy. Maybe what I dont know scares me? I just have a general idea so it triggered a panic attack. It seems like just the fact of me dragging it on and thinking about the next panic and thinking about how I panic'd before it my main issue I just need to drop.