It's never been this bad...

[h8z2luze]

I have had what I think is anxiety for I would say 8 years. I am 24. Lately it has been much worse than ever before. Before I would get panic attacks if going somewhere like on a trip or something like that. Now I just have this constant worry feeling that is intensified by little things that are hard to explain and dont make any sense. I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years a few months ago. Now I am with another girl I am happy with her she is great. The only thing that I can think of that is making it worse is making all these changes in my life. I used to have a nice house and stuff now I am sleeping on my parents floor. I go to my girlfriends daily she has a 3 year old daughter who is a normal bratty 3 year old lol. Her dad also lives with her and shes always fighting with him or trying to get her kid to listen and the kid is almost always throwing a fit. I think this does not help my situation lol. We are trying to find a house together. I hope that once I get my own place back and get settled in it will get better. I seem to feel anxious or nervous all the time now not just some days or in spirts. Like right now my chest has been tight and muscles tense for a couple days. I wake up 4+ times a night in fear of I dont know what. Stomach in knots, muscles tight, shaking, feeling trapped, needing to use the restroom. I try to do breathing excersizes but they just seem to intensify it or make me feel like im going to pass out more. I am my wits end. I am almost worried its something else. Thinking about going to the doctor even though I have been before and they can never find anything wrong. I never have high blood pressure, "the blood work" is always normal. My stomach gives me the most problems. I wake up with horrible stomach cramps a lot. They have tested for ulcers, gall stones, infections, etc... Never anything out of the normal. Then I will be fine for awhile then out of nowhere BAM Comes back. I really dont know what to do. Does anyone else feel the way I do? Does it seem like I have anxiety or am I just making myself think I do?

[Marley5]

Hi,

I totally understand what you are describing. I worry over small things. Its really weird to explain.. im okay when things are going along smoothly, but when something happens, like I mess something up, i get the same feelings as you are describing. I feel trapped, shaking, hot, paniky, feeling like something bad is going to happen (usually the worst possible scenario in my head), unable to concentrate, and worried to the point its not normal. I dont cope with stress very well and tend to stress myself out.. I even left a job because of it. I constantly felt worthless, like I was constantly letting people down and couldnt cope with the stress I basically made myself ill with anxiety. Every morning I would wake up and go to work feeling tense, hot, 'on edge', unable to concentrate. Even when it comes to making decisions, I freak out. I'm awake most of the night worrying about anything and everything that could possibly go wrong - playing over the worst possible senarios in my head. I worry myself sick basically. Along with this anxiety, I also feel down quite alot. I have a reasonably good life, home, job, partner etc. I tend to avoid social situations as I get anxious that I dont fit in and people wont like me etc. I have a very supportive partner who helps me through times of anxiety. They understand that I get worked up about things and feel unable to cope with it sometimes. Without them, I dont know what I would do. Maybe you should talk to your girlfriend about it. I find that it helps to have one person to talk to - even if what you describe to them does sound crazy! It can take the weight off your shoulders, even just for a while. I am 24 also, like yourself, and sometimes found myself wondering if this is 'just an age thing', but like yourself, I have found that I have been feeling like this for a number of years. I have recently started a new job and found that I improved for a while... but now I feel that the anxiety is back. This constant worry is slowly creeping back. :( Your not alone and there seems to be alot of people who suffer from this. I find it helps even reading about other peoples anxiety issues.. It helps to know that we are not alone suffering from this.

[h8z2luze]

I agree reading others stories does seem to help for the time I am reading. Sounds like we feel about the same. I do talk to my girlfriend about it she is supportive but still doesn't understand fully. Nobody can understand unless they have experienced it first hand in my opinion.

[Marley5]

Yeh I agree. Its hard for people to understand what its like when they havent been there themselves. Most of the time is really hard to describe how you feel and why to someone. I hate feeling like this. I was so happy that I thought id over come it, but no. Ive had a really bad day today...came home in a totally mess about something propbably so trivial that will probably turn out to be nothing but you know, I will stress and worry about it. My head is already really sore from stressing. My mind just doesnt switch off...most of my anxiety comes from " I feel like ive done somthing wrong " and im going to upset people. I dont know why...I dont know how this started at all... its almost like a fear of letting people down and me making mistakes. Its weird, I know !

[h8z2luze]

Not weird. I know what you mean. I dont personally have those fears but I can relate. Actually come to think of it I guess I do worry about letting people down. Thats one reason I have panic attacks when I go on a trip or something cause I fear if I have a panic attack it will ruin the trip for everyone then I worry about that and it escalates. I think most of my fear is fear itself....

[gaara]

Not weird. I know what you mean. I dont personally have those fears but I can relate. Actually come to think of it I guess I do worry about letting people down. Thats one reason I have panic attacks when I go on a trip or something cause I fear if I have a panic attack it will ruin the trip for everyone then I worry about that and it escalates. I think most of my fear is fear itself....

Yup had cases like that myself. It's hard. You need to get to a climbing point where each day or every few days are better than the ones before. Once you get back on your feet you can REALLY focus on changing your thoughts. It's extremely difficult to think rationally with anxiety in the way.

[h8z2luze]

My friend offered to give me a couple Xanax for when I have panic attacks... I am kinda scared to take them...