Mrs.S
01-09-2011, 03:42 PM
I dont know whether being here will do anything for me or not, I have literally had enough and typed anxiety forums into google hoping for some help!
I have no idea where to start and I am sure many can relate to what I am going through, but it does not take away the pain, the dread and the sheer scale of whats eating and eating at me!
I dont want this post to be a complete moan about the effect anxiety is having on my life, maybe if I just write this down and post it into cyber space I might feel better!!
Well here's hoping..!
I am 27 and gave birth to my 2nd son 3 yrs ago following his birth i was crippled with postnatal depression and had no idea what was happening to me, i evenutally broke down and was seen by a Doctor 18 months after my son was born.
for the past 18 months i have been treated for my depression, in my view successfully; however an ugly monster has arisen in the form of anxiety, which i had suffered with throughout my depression but has came back.
I have been off my anti d medication for nearly 2 months now and i dont want to go back, because i had made progress and i dont want to rely on tablets, I am young with 2 kids i want to fight this and get rid of it from my life!!
i am obsessed with my health that i will have a heart attack, that i will die alone, that my children will find my body!! I am plagued by thoughts of every little thing in life being such an overwhelming and difficult task, even something as simple as reading a bed time story.
I suffer daily with palpitations which i am on medication for, but does not make a difference, I am utterly convinced that the palpitations will kill me and that they are just the introduction to the heart attack that will kill me!!!!!!!!!!
i dont want these thoughts, i want my life, i dont want to die at 27!! I hate what i have become, I feel that this is a scar that will never heal and will control my life and will eventually take me under!!!!!!!
I have no idea where to start and I am sure many can relate to what I am going through, but it does not take away the pain, the dread and the sheer scale of whats eating and eating at me!
I dont want this post to be a complete moan about the effect anxiety is having on my life, maybe if I just write this down and post it into cyber space I might feel better!!
Well here's hoping..!
I am 27 and gave birth to my 2nd son 3 yrs ago following his birth i was crippled with postnatal depression and had no idea what was happening to me, i evenutally broke down and was seen by a Doctor 18 months after my son was born.
for the past 18 months i have been treated for my depression, in my view successfully; however an ugly monster has arisen in the form of anxiety, which i had suffered with throughout my depression but has came back.
I have been off my anti d medication for nearly 2 months now and i dont want to go back, because i had made progress and i dont want to rely on tablets, I am young with 2 kids i want to fight this and get rid of it from my life!!
i am obsessed with my health that i will have a heart attack, that i will die alone, that my children will find my body!! I am plagued by thoughts of every little thing in life being such an overwhelming and difficult task, even something as simple as reading a bed time story.
I suffer daily with palpitations which i am on medication for, but does not make a difference, I am utterly convinced that the palpitations will kill me and that they are just the introduction to the heart attack that will kill me!!!!!!!!!!
i dont want these thoughts, i want my life, i dont want to die at 27!! I hate what i have become, I feel that this is a scar that will never heal and will control my life and will eventually take me under!!!!!!!