Ryee
12-21-2010, 06:15 PM
Hello all, first time poster here, but I have been reading these boards for about 6 weeks and have found them very, very helpful.
About 3 years ago I had my first bout with anxiety. At the time, I was having some major life issues, and so despite the anxiety being scary and unsettling, I had a 'cause' that I could attribute it to. I went on Lexapro and stayed on it for about 18 months. It seemed to help quite a lot, and I eventually took myself off it, having no further attacks.
6 weeks ago, though, the ugly beast returned. This time has been a bit stranger, as I cannot really pin it on any particular life event.
For me, the hardest part this time around has been believing that I am physically healthy. Whenever I start to feel badly, I start to tell myself that I must be seriously ill (heart attack, blood clot, stroke, or just whatever horrible disease I can dream up).
I have been to my general physician 3 times, seen an EMS doctor once, been to an emergency room once, and am also back on Lexapro under my psychiatrist's supervision and am seeing him bi-weekly for therapy. Realistically, I know that I am fine physically. I recently ran my first 5k, and have lost 18 pounds over the past 2.5 months. I have had an EKG, full blood panel, and been seen by the myriad of health professionals listed above. Surely if anything was wrong, one of those kind folks would have told me by now.
Yet I still have moments (like now) where a tiny voice creeps in and says "you don't feel good" and I feel myself start to spin out, trying to find a sinister, underlying cause for my discomfort that the doctors could have missed. That's been the hardest part of anxiety for me--believing that I'm actually OK.
This has been a bit of a ramble, but I just wanted to get this out here, and see if anyone could relate to what I've been going through. Thank you all for sharing your stories here...it helps more than you know to read about people struggling like you are.
Ryee
About 3 years ago I had my first bout with anxiety. At the time, I was having some major life issues, and so despite the anxiety being scary and unsettling, I had a 'cause' that I could attribute it to. I went on Lexapro and stayed on it for about 18 months. It seemed to help quite a lot, and I eventually took myself off it, having no further attacks.
6 weeks ago, though, the ugly beast returned. This time has been a bit stranger, as I cannot really pin it on any particular life event.
For me, the hardest part this time around has been believing that I am physically healthy. Whenever I start to feel badly, I start to tell myself that I must be seriously ill (heart attack, blood clot, stroke, or just whatever horrible disease I can dream up).
I have been to my general physician 3 times, seen an EMS doctor once, been to an emergency room once, and am also back on Lexapro under my psychiatrist's supervision and am seeing him bi-weekly for therapy. Realistically, I know that I am fine physically. I recently ran my first 5k, and have lost 18 pounds over the past 2.5 months. I have had an EKG, full blood panel, and been seen by the myriad of health professionals listed above. Surely if anything was wrong, one of those kind folks would have told me by now.
Yet I still have moments (like now) where a tiny voice creeps in and says "you don't feel good" and I feel myself start to spin out, trying to find a sinister, underlying cause for my discomfort that the doctors could have missed. That's been the hardest part of anxiety for me--believing that I'm actually OK.
This has been a bit of a ramble, but I just wanted to get this out here, and see if anyone could relate to what I've been going through. Thank you all for sharing your stories here...it helps more than you know to read about people struggling like you are.
Ryee