serious anxiety problems

[yopismydesire]

Hello i am 19 years old and a male, i an unsure of what format to post in so i will go bullet points


-I think people will judge me
-people will think i am rubbish and stupid
-people will think i am ugly and hideous
-people will laugh at me
-cant look people in the eye
-people will think im not interesting,think im stupid when i talk
-my body is not good enough
-always comparing to other people,(mainly males) and coming way short
-cant go outside alone
-will avoid any busy areas if possible, wont take the bus, wont go out at certain times when its busier
-very shy and uncomfortable around other people
-worried my GF doesnt like me
-worried my GF will find someone better
-when anyone acts abit differently, i think they dont like me or are going off me ( this is a big one, since even when my mum does something abit different i feel this way)
-if i dont get texts back quickly, i think they dont like me
-worry about the next time i have sex with my GF, what if she doesnt like it, what if it feels rubbish, what if i cant do it
-think people will think im trying to be cool by listening to techno music if they can hear it
- think people are taking the mick out of me
-think everyone is looking at me
-Excessive Worrying,worry about every little small thing and cant stop it
-feel helpless and hopeless
-very misrebale most of the time
- constantly need reassuring people like me/love me
-worried people will think im a fool
-dont feel good enough to anyone
- when about to get out, i feel sick,my stomach churns, i get a faster heart beat
- i feel frightened
- i can struggle for sleep the night before having to go out
- think people will laugh at what i wear
-will cross the street if people are on the same side as me in the distance
- possible depression
- if someone is abit touchy/harsh, i take it really badly and get really upset, i cant stand my ground and easily succumb to negative/angry comments

What can i do about these problems, and are they common amongst anxiety/social phobia sufferers? Any help greatly appreciated

[mamascrazy1985]

most of what you said is exactly like me (except im a girl) i think alot of mine come from negative things my parents always said to me growing up. if i am comfortable with some one i can say whatever i need to say. if im not comfortable with some one i dont say anything ...... if you find some useful info let me know cause i am tired of living and feeling this way

[givemeabreak]

I may not have all of the symptoms you have but I definitely have some of them. I always worry about what I say to other people and what they think of me because I said what I did. In reality I know they could care less because the conversation usually only lasted a few minuets but those are the ones I worry about the most the short ones. I don't know why this happens but I can tell you that having a good posture does tend to help a bit. Try standing up straight because I can tell from what you've said you probably have a tendency to slouch. You've gotta stop that! I'm working really hard on my posture it does make things a bit easier because its like your projecting who you really are forward to other people it makes you feel like you have nothing to hide. Just try it I'm sure it will help a little. Another way I can relate to you is I'm oversensitive to what people say to me. The slightest bit of criticism can feel like a punch in the gut. It's not as bad as it used to be and I'm really working on coping with it by reassuring myself that I am valuable and people are going to criticize its human nature. Really the best advice I can give you is to put yourself in others shoes. Really try to understand how their feeling and sympathize for them. It has worked wonders for me. *hugs you* I understand how nerve-racking all of this is but if your really determined to get better you will I promise. Take care and if you ever need to talk about anything pm me I'm more than open to a good chat.

[Dylan123]

I second the posture thing! I have also noticed a big change in my behaviour when working hard to keep good posture. Also, I'm a big fidgetter. I have a tendency to pick at my nails, scratch my nose, tap my fingers or whatever when I feel socially anxious. As soon as I bring my attention to my breathing, focus on stopping nervous fidgets and keep my back straight the difference in my confidence is night and day. Also, if it's not too awkward, try using your conversation partner's name. It will give you a sense that you are talking to a person and not just some unnamed projection of your fears and worries, and it will hopefully make you feel more confident.

[bigcat1967]

What can i do about these problems, and are they common amongst anxiety/social phobia sufferers? Any help greatly appreciated

Possibly seeing a Psychologist would help. First you have to see a MD then he would have to recommend before taking this next step.

[Emcee126]

Wow this sounds like I could have wrote it. the first 3 are my biggest issue.

people will judge me
people will think i am ugly and hideous
people will laugh at me

With medication i have been able to not avoid any busy areas and not go the opposite direction when i see a bunch of people walking together.

The only one I don't have on the list is the fear of answering the phone. i completely lose the ability to speak and have to struggle to be able to speak and that usually results in stammering and stuttering. Im afraid of it being noticable.

[fallingthin]

a lot of these are things we have in common. I started taking ginseng and taurine and I have avoided a lot of these issues for a short period of time.

[maco2010]

I could of though I typed this. That is 100% me, so you obviously not on your own here. I am going to keep an eye on this forum for some info.

fallingthin - did you get the ginseng and taurine from the doctor? i have booked an appointment next week at the doctors.

[Anxiety beater]

Ever considered that most other people are so preoccupied with themselves - and maybe worrying about what you are thinking about them! - that they're unlikely to be thinking any of those negative things about you that you imagine?

[Notelets]

Yes! These are common for anxiety sufferers :) I'm 19 and female I get pretty much all of those symptoms and I hate the one where I won't leave the house at a certain time (like if I know the school kids will be coming out of school) because I know it will be busier and I don't want to deal with crowds or anything. And I hate it when if someone else is in a mood or something it can effect how I feel because I know it shouldn't and its not fair on either of us for me to get upset just because they're upset.

You should try breathing exercises :) They sounds a bit stupid and they do take a lot of practice but apparently once you've got it they help loads because they give you summat to focus on so they give your mind a rest and they also allow your body to completely relax which makes you feel better overall.
And are you creative? Because doing things like making a collage or writing a poem can help as well because you can get unwanted feelings out or use it as an escapism technique (especially if you focus on writing in a specific form for the poem) so you are completely focused on it.
I'm trying to think what else I dooo hmmm. Sometimes i like to lye on ma bed with the lights turned out and a few candles on and listen to my favourite music. Just take time out of everything and focus on yourself really. And I think talking to people with the same problem can help because if you don't know anyone with anxiety it can make you feel stupid because people who don't suffer from it won't understand but people who do have it will completely understand where you are coming from and it can be soooo reassuring and you can give each other advice. Sorry for babbling I tend to do that :s xx

[MainerMikeBrown]

Yopis, depression, excessive anxiety, and low self-esteem causes those who suffer from these disorders to have exaggerated negative beliefs about themselves and about the world. However, just knowing this is one of the first steps to feeling better and thinking more positive.