Zuena
11-19-2010, 10:43 PM
I haven't been very active on the forum in the last week or two, mostly because work has been hectic.
I've just been reading through some of the posts and there are so many people suffering.
What I have also noticed is it seems like there are so many people who are so taken up with the symptoms and how they feel at that moment, that it takes away their focus from the main issue here: how to actually beat the anxiety. It is so easy to get so completely caught up in how fast your heart is beating or how lightheaded you feel that the anxiety ends up getting worse - it is like an never ending cycle.
In my experience, the only way to beat anxiety is to firstly find out what is causing it. In my case, and I believe in many cases, anxiety is reactional and is directly linked to something that is going on in my life that is making me feel unsafe. Something that is screwing with my routine or I am in a new situation that throws me out a bit and makes me feel uncertain and a little out of my depth. You have to take control of your anxiety. The anxiety ITSELF, not the symptoms. Unfortunately we get so caught up in the symptoms, that often long after the actual cause for the anxiety has left, we are still suffering because we become frightened of the actual attacks and our minds are so used to the negative patterns that it seems like there is no way out.
Many people - I have seen it over and over again on this forum - mistakenly believe that once the symptoms are gone, you can get a handle on the anxiety and sort it out. When they do well for a day or two and even just a twinge of anxiety returns, they fall back into the hole that anxiety has dug for them because they get so discouraged. NO. You HAVE to first sort out the anxiety before the symptoms will go away. The best thing that I have learnt on this forum, and something that I truly believe has played a major role in my recovery was very, very wise words from Forewells - allow youself to have a bad day. It is OK to feel a little off from time to time. But then you get up from there and you carry on. Having an off day when you have had a few good ones does NOT always mean that your anxiety has returned with a vengeance. It's like being on a diet. If after a week you screw up by having a piece of cake, it doesn't mean you have failed. Just don't allow the temptation to take over again and carry on with the diet. The one or two kg's you have lost (i.e.the progress you have made with your anxiety) is still there and still shows. Don't feel like a failure and start eating everyting that isn't nailed to the floor / give in and think ok, anxiety is back.. sigh.. what do I do now?
Anxiety is one of the hardest things I have had to overcome in my life. Too many people believe that they will wake up "healed" one morning.
NO.
Baby steps. Baby steps is what it takes. Every small victory is an encouragment and pushes you to move on and get over the anxiety.
Break the cycle of fear. Fear of going crazy, fear of the symptoms, fear of fainting - whatever it may be that is keeping your mind occupied. Train your brain. Replace the image of yourself locked up in the madhouse drooling like a baby with a positive one, sitting on the couch surrounded by family, having a laugh. Create a safe space for yourself. Stop googling symptoms of all sorts of weird diseases. LISTEN to your body. No one knows your body the way you do. If you feel off, don't immediately assume it's anxiety - you may have a cold or the flu or just need some vitamins. Yesterday when I went to the doc for the lightheadness and nausea I have been experiencing (I wasn't going to go, decided to at the last minute) and he told me it was Vertigo, I actually laughed out loud with relief.
When you feel off - sit down for a minute. Think about it. Am I stressed and therefore feeling x? Or is the fact that I am feeling x stressing me out? Then take action from there. If x is making you feel stressed, get it seen to.
One thing that a lot of people seem to overlook is that even "normal" people have weird thoughts. They also have thoughts of suicide cross their minds from time to time. They also sometimes watch a horror movie and fleetingly wonder what would happen if they turned into a homicidal maniac and started killing family members. The difference is, THEY DON'T DWELL ON IT. They don't start obsessing about it. They laugh at themselves for being so silly and move on. In many cases the fears of anxiety sufferers are quite normal but where a "normal" person can dismiss it, the anxiety magnifies those fears in a sufferer and gives us yet something else to freak out about.
I really believe that for an average anxiety sufferer (if there is such a thing, I mean someone whose anxiety is not caused by another disorder or in the most severe cases)firsly changing the circumstances causing the anxiety, and then taking control of your thoughts and breaking negative thought patterns is the answer to curing your anxiety, or at least get it to a point where it is manageable. Anxiety has a very easy job. It plants one thought in your mind and then sits back and watches YOU do the rest. YOU work yourself up into a state. YOU freak out. Job done.
I am not at ALL saying that no one should post anything negative or share their experiences - this is a help forum after all. People come here because they are at their wits end. All I am saying is let's see a few more "I have been anxiety free for x days, and I am having a good day so far." and less of the "I am having a good day, BUT.. " Don't sit and wait for the anxiety to attack you, because I can assure you, it will. Attack the anxiety.
BREAK THE PATTERN OF FEAR!
Just my thoughts.
Z
I've just been reading through some of the posts and there are so many people suffering.
What I have also noticed is it seems like there are so many people who are so taken up with the symptoms and how they feel at that moment, that it takes away their focus from the main issue here: how to actually beat the anxiety. It is so easy to get so completely caught up in how fast your heart is beating or how lightheaded you feel that the anxiety ends up getting worse - it is like an never ending cycle.
In my experience, the only way to beat anxiety is to firstly find out what is causing it. In my case, and I believe in many cases, anxiety is reactional and is directly linked to something that is going on in my life that is making me feel unsafe. Something that is screwing with my routine or I am in a new situation that throws me out a bit and makes me feel uncertain and a little out of my depth. You have to take control of your anxiety. The anxiety ITSELF, not the symptoms. Unfortunately we get so caught up in the symptoms, that often long after the actual cause for the anxiety has left, we are still suffering because we become frightened of the actual attacks and our minds are so used to the negative patterns that it seems like there is no way out.
Many people - I have seen it over and over again on this forum - mistakenly believe that once the symptoms are gone, you can get a handle on the anxiety and sort it out. When they do well for a day or two and even just a twinge of anxiety returns, they fall back into the hole that anxiety has dug for them because they get so discouraged. NO. You HAVE to first sort out the anxiety before the symptoms will go away. The best thing that I have learnt on this forum, and something that I truly believe has played a major role in my recovery was very, very wise words from Forewells - allow youself to have a bad day. It is OK to feel a little off from time to time. But then you get up from there and you carry on. Having an off day when you have had a few good ones does NOT always mean that your anxiety has returned with a vengeance. It's like being on a diet. If after a week you screw up by having a piece of cake, it doesn't mean you have failed. Just don't allow the temptation to take over again and carry on with the diet. The one or two kg's you have lost (i.e.the progress you have made with your anxiety) is still there and still shows. Don't feel like a failure and start eating everyting that isn't nailed to the floor / give in and think ok, anxiety is back.. sigh.. what do I do now?
Anxiety is one of the hardest things I have had to overcome in my life. Too many people believe that they will wake up "healed" one morning.
NO.
Baby steps. Baby steps is what it takes. Every small victory is an encouragment and pushes you to move on and get over the anxiety.
Break the cycle of fear. Fear of going crazy, fear of the symptoms, fear of fainting - whatever it may be that is keeping your mind occupied. Train your brain. Replace the image of yourself locked up in the madhouse drooling like a baby with a positive one, sitting on the couch surrounded by family, having a laugh. Create a safe space for yourself. Stop googling symptoms of all sorts of weird diseases. LISTEN to your body. No one knows your body the way you do. If you feel off, don't immediately assume it's anxiety - you may have a cold or the flu or just need some vitamins. Yesterday when I went to the doc for the lightheadness and nausea I have been experiencing (I wasn't going to go, decided to at the last minute) and he told me it was Vertigo, I actually laughed out loud with relief.
When you feel off - sit down for a minute. Think about it. Am I stressed and therefore feeling x? Or is the fact that I am feeling x stressing me out? Then take action from there. If x is making you feel stressed, get it seen to.
One thing that a lot of people seem to overlook is that even "normal" people have weird thoughts. They also have thoughts of suicide cross their minds from time to time. They also sometimes watch a horror movie and fleetingly wonder what would happen if they turned into a homicidal maniac and started killing family members. The difference is, THEY DON'T DWELL ON IT. They don't start obsessing about it. They laugh at themselves for being so silly and move on. In many cases the fears of anxiety sufferers are quite normal but where a "normal" person can dismiss it, the anxiety magnifies those fears in a sufferer and gives us yet something else to freak out about.
I really believe that for an average anxiety sufferer (if there is such a thing, I mean someone whose anxiety is not caused by another disorder or in the most severe cases)firsly changing the circumstances causing the anxiety, and then taking control of your thoughts and breaking negative thought patterns is the answer to curing your anxiety, or at least get it to a point where it is manageable. Anxiety has a very easy job. It plants one thought in your mind and then sits back and watches YOU do the rest. YOU work yourself up into a state. YOU freak out. Job done.
I am not at ALL saying that no one should post anything negative or share their experiences - this is a help forum after all. People come here because they are at their wits end. All I am saying is let's see a few more "I have been anxiety free for x days, and I am having a good day so far." and less of the "I am having a good day, BUT.. " Don't sit and wait for the anxiety to attack you, because I can assure you, it will. Attack the anxiety.
BREAK THE PATTERN OF FEAR!
Just my thoughts.
Z