fear of hallucinating

[boxer]

I was coming home from work and its dark outside and I saw a tree next to powerlines and it looked like something was on the wires and the thought of gargoyle and I know that it was just leaves but i sit and wonder why I would automatically think gargoyle I mean how often does gargoyle come up in conversation then I start to convince myself that I saw a gargoyle knowing full well it was just leaves on a tree and sometimes during bouts of depersonlization I start to think Im just going start hallucinating and ill do the same thing

[lawandorder]

hey boxer,
you keep coming here with here with new individual experiences that keep scaring you. Unless you try to listen to what we have to say, your going to continue to fear everything that could possibly be linked with getting schizophrenia.
Your experience is 100% anxiety related, nothing else...
I have had anxiety stuff very similar.. When i had a fear of schizo badly, i would have stuff like... if someone stared at me two seconds too long, i would think 'why is he staring at me..' then.. 'what if start to think everyone is staring at me'. . 'thats paranoia, paranoia is a symptom of schizo'.. then i would my OCD anxiety would kick in and everytime someone looked at me i would get the 'he's staring at me' thoughts, not that I actually thought they we staring at me, but the anxiety me couldn't help the thought from happening.
Your anxiety is what made you think 'gargoyle' because you FEAR hallucinations, and therefore thinking 'gargoyle' contributes to your belief of HAVING hallucinations.
The other explanation, is just like any child, or anyone for that matter is that HUMANS LIKE TO IMAGINE, and therefore thinking gargoyle was just your creative self making one object look like another. That is what we do with the clouds all the time - but, no it is not a schizophrenic characteritic.
You are just beating yourself up unnecessarily - you really need to work on your SELF-TALK, because you keep coming here with the same problem, without realising that YOUR the one who is not working on reinforcing to yourself that you are SANE and always will be, and that these things are part of your ANXIETY.
Ok? instead of arguing with yourself, TELL yourself its anxiety, and don't indulge in 'what if i start hallucinating, what if , what if what if what if'
cheers