upsidedownlife
11-07-2010, 07:08 AM
Hi, I'm new here - I feel like I need to get my thoughts out to someone who might understand and hopefully get some advice. I've had anxiety to some level ever since my parents divorced when I was about 11, but since I started a new relationship with an amazing guy, I felt like I had finally beaten it and my psych took me off the meds. I'm 18 now, and 9 months into the relationship, the anxiety is coming back. This time, I'm controlling the emotional stuff as well as I can, but it's causing physical symptoms which I can't control.
The trigger was seeing my partner get a bad vomiting bug... I have a germ-related OCD that is brought on by stress, so I've become terrified that I could catch it or become ill in some way. I've cleaned the entire house from top to bottom with bleach, even the walls... I wouldn't allow him to sleep in the same bed as me for a week AFTER he was better (we live together), and I still insist he washes his hands more than once before eating/cooking! I wash myself obsessively until my hands are red and sore, and won't touch my face.
Every day I have at least an hour where my heart is racing, I feel a bit sick, I get hot flashes and cold sweats, my stomach churns horribly and I am convinced that I am going to get diarrhea/be sick any second. It's been putting me off my food, and I've been avoiding going out other than to work for 5 hours.
Today, I have come across another problem! :( I normally work in a shop with another lady so I know I am able to leave to go to the toilet (only 2 minutes' walk away) if I need to - which makes me feel calm. The shop I worked in is closed for several weeks, so now I've been moved to an office in another part of the company where I will have to work 8 hours instead of my usual 5, starting on monday. I don't know where the toilets will be, I won't be able to just leave as easily as I could in the shop and I'm scared the anxiety is going to give me an upset stomach which will cause diarrhea and I won't be able to find the toilet or be allowed to leave! :oops:
I don't know what to do about this, and I can't even go to the doctor to try to get some tablets to control the churning stomach, because it's only open during my working hours. I don't have a counsellor here and I don't know what to do! Can anyone help, or offer advice?
Thanks for listening :)
The trigger was seeing my partner get a bad vomiting bug... I have a germ-related OCD that is brought on by stress, so I've become terrified that I could catch it or become ill in some way. I've cleaned the entire house from top to bottom with bleach, even the walls... I wouldn't allow him to sleep in the same bed as me for a week AFTER he was better (we live together), and I still insist he washes his hands more than once before eating/cooking! I wash myself obsessively until my hands are red and sore, and won't touch my face.
Every day I have at least an hour where my heart is racing, I feel a bit sick, I get hot flashes and cold sweats, my stomach churns horribly and I am convinced that I am going to get diarrhea/be sick any second. It's been putting me off my food, and I've been avoiding going out other than to work for 5 hours.
Today, I have come across another problem! :( I normally work in a shop with another lady so I know I am able to leave to go to the toilet (only 2 minutes' walk away) if I need to - which makes me feel calm. The shop I worked in is closed for several weeks, so now I've been moved to an office in another part of the company where I will have to work 8 hours instead of my usual 5, starting on monday. I don't know where the toilets will be, I won't be able to just leave as easily as I could in the shop and I'm scared the anxiety is going to give me an upset stomach which will cause diarrhea and I won't be able to find the toilet or be allowed to leave! :oops:
I don't know what to do about this, and I can't even go to the doctor to try to get some tablets to control the churning stomach, because it's only open during my working hours. I don't have a counsellor here and I don't know what to do! Can anyone help, or offer advice?
Thanks for listening :)