Advice about anxiety - I need to find the toilet?

[upsidedownlife]

Hi, I'm new here - I feel like I need to get my thoughts out to someone who might understand and hopefully get some advice. I've had anxiety to some level ever since my parents divorced when I was about 11, but since I started a new relationship with an amazing guy, I felt like I had finally beaten it and my psych took me off the meds. I'm 18 now, and 9 months into the relationship, the anxiety is coming back. This time, I'm controlling the emotional stuff as well as I can, but it's causing physical symptoms which I can't control.

The trigger was seeing my partner get a bad vomiting bug... I have a germ-related OCD that is brought on by stress, so I've become terrified that I could catch it or become ill in some way. I've cleaned the entire house from top to bottom with bleach, even the walls... I wouldn't allow him to sleep in the same bed as me for a week AFTER he was better (we live together), and I still insist he washes his hands more than once before eating/cooking! I wash myself obsessively until my hands are red and sore, and won't touch my face.

Every day I have at least an hour where my heart is racing, I feel a bit sick, I get hot flashes and cold sweats, my stomach churns horribly and I am convinced that I am going to get diarrhea/be sick any second. It's been putting me off my food, and I've been avoiding going out other than to work for 5 hours.

Today, I have come across another problem! :( I normally work in a shop with another lady so I know I am able to leave to go to the toilet (only 2 minutes' walk away) if I need to - which makes me feel calm. The shop I worked in is closed for several weeks, so now I've been moved to an office in another part of the company where I will have to work 8 hours instead of my usual 5, starting on monday. I don't know where the toilets will be, I won't be able to just leave as easily as I could in the shop and I'm scared the anxiety is going to give me an upset stomach which will cause diarrhea and I won't be able to find the toilet or be allowed to leave! :oops:

I don't know what to do about this, and I can't even go to the doctor to try to get some tablets to control the churning stomach, because it's only open during my working hours. I don't have a counsellor here and I don't know what to do! Can anyone help, or offer advice?

Thanks for listening :)

[deutsche elektronik]

You sound a lot like me. I have panic disorder, IBS with diahrrea and mild OCD. I am also a huge germophobe, so much so my boyfriend makes fun of me, but I even laugh about it too. I ALWAYS was my hands upon returning home from the public germ ridden world outside my door. I usually refuse to eat without washing my hands, unless it's not an option. If anyone gets stomach bugs in my house, I will disinfect everything in sight. I have gotten better by forcing myself to use dishes that haven't undergone my strict disinfecting, eat without washing my hands and even tried to cut back on my excessive washing. There was a while where I probably washed my hands about 60 times a day or more. It was never something severe enough to seek treatment for, at least to me.

You sound as though you have panic disorder. The nausea, sudden urge to have a bowel movement, cold sweats and feeling hot. I get this a lot when I have a panic attack. It is unlikely you will actually get sick during these episodes, unless your symptoms get worse or you don't treat it properly. Since this sounds recent, I won't assume you have irritable bowel syndrome or any other stomach disorder. Panic disorder/anxiety is commonly co-morbid with OCD, If you have OCD, you most likely also have anxiety problems too. That's what it sounds like to me. You should talk to your doctor about it, or try to make an appointment to see a psychiatrist. I'd even consider reading up on SSRI's, as they are a good treatment option for people with panic attacks and OCD and commonly prescribed for people with your symptoms. Your doctor will mention them to you. If you don't like the prospect of taking medicine, you don't have to, but it can be very hard to combat these symptoms with psychological therapy alone, especially if they are debilitating. At least that's what I have had to face. Good luck to you. I hope this helps.