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boxer
11-06-2010, 02:41 AM
Can u please tell me the most horribly bizarre irrational thoughts that you've had so that I know just how crazy the bizarre thoughts of anxiety can get please. Here recently I have had a fear of thinking that people don't die not like zombies or something like that and that bizarre thought has led many more bizarre thoughts like what if I hurt myself because I actually believed that I couldn't die that thought alone throws me into panic I start thinking the only reason I would have such a bizarre thought is because im actually going crazy so please tell me ur stories so I know that I'm not losing it.

kathique
11-06-2010, 05:20 AM
Hey boxer

I've had similar thoughts - remember they can scare you and seem extremely threatening but they can't hurt you.

When i had anxiety as a teenager, I used to imagine all the ways I could kill myself. If I saw a sharp knife I would imagine driving it into my chest. I was so scared I would hurt myself I would cry and beg my mum to hold my hands so I wouldn't hurt myself. I was never suicidal but these thoughts scared the bejesus out of me.

Anxiety can take you to the scariest place in your mind- but that's as far as it will go. You won't actually do these things you imagine. Just because you imagine it doesn't mean it will happen. When you lose the fear if these thoughts, they will disappear all together.

lawandorder
11-06-2010, 09:00 AM
Boxer as far as your imagination can go, anxiety will turn it into something negative and something to fear..
I have had those thoughts frequently. The ones that used to scare me would come very sudeen - like i would be standing on a balcony, and I would say to myself 'jump.. just jump do it' I dont have any suicidal tendencies. But i feared having them, and I feared that my mind would actually just 'jump'. I obviously never have, and never will. There are MANY other things like this, but I wont say them because of the power of suggestion in anxiety.

http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/me ... 5844157028 (http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/mentally-ill-qantas-pilot-allowed-to-fly-despite-complaining-of-urge-to-crash/story-e6frfku0-1225844157028)

Read that. It's very similar to what we are going through really. He never did what he really was afraid of doing obviously, even though a part of him thought he would.

Boxer anything that starts with 'what if' is your anxiety. 'What if, i believe that people can't die and i test that and hurt myself' It's anxiety, and actually very common, however you a reacting massively to it. And it's getting you very worked up..
You will have other thoughts too, similar ones - and unless you learn to cope to deal with it, your anxiety will continue to be intense... However, you will NEVER ACTUALLY do any of these thoughts. And, you're not approaching insanity either...
So, you need to make a decision whether you are going to work on these thoughts. One day it will be 'what if people dont die', then maybe tomorrow you will think 'what if I open the fridge and THINK that there are eyes in the fridge that speak and say don't have the orange juice, have the apple juice'
As ridiculous as it sounds, you'll find that anxiety will creatively, and happily attach to anything thought that you could potentially fear.
You need to start recognising this point, or you'll just go round in circles.
Im sorry, but you won't go crazy. It just won't happen bud.
Take care