Micheletk1
11-05-2010, 06:09 PM
Hi All
I am new to this forum and have had recent problems arise from my major anxiety issues. I have had this for a very long time. I was in a previous marriage that was both abusive physically and verbally. My anxiety didn't start then it started from when I was younger. The bad marriage didn't help it in any way though. I finally got strong and left that bad man. I moved back home with my parents and eventually start an online dating service where I met the man I am married to now. I was involved in a car accident in 2007 and switched lawyers 3 times. This final lawyer is a childhood friend of my Husbands. In June of this year, I on my own and afraid decided to settle the case without him knowing. Being afraid of his reaction to what I have done I lied to him and told him that we were filing suit, and every time he asked I had another excuse so he wouldn't find out and leave me. This man I married is wonderful and treats me very well, but disappointing him scares me. Even as a child I had a fear of disappointing my parents and they would not love me anymore, even though they tell me they love me often. I had lied to my parents in the past also because of that fear I have inside. All it did was mess me more up inside and my parents losing trust in me like my husband has now.
During the time of all this I was so scared he was going to leave me nothing mattered to me anymore. We want to have a baby and are having a hard time because I am 40. I told my husband I was having a test to see if my tubes were blocked when I didn't have an appointment because why do it if he is going to leave me. I also said I was seeing a psychiatrist but was afraid of him leaving me and didn't go and now that shrink won't see me. I know I need help and want to be normal again and grow old with my husband who is so wonderful and his mother who is bedridden I love and help take care of. Disappointing them hurts a lot and I want to regain trust with them and be the person I am suppose to be. I do actually have a psychiatrist appointment on 11/17/10 to see a doctor and would like for my husband to come so we can both heal. Please let me know what I can do to become a whole and healthy person.
Thanks,
AnxiousGirl
I am new to this forum and have had recent problems arise from my major anxiety issues. I have had this for a very long time. I was in a previous marriage that was both abusive physically and verbally. My anxiety didn't start then it started from when I was younger. The bad marriage didn't help it in any way though. I finally got strong and left that bad man. I moved back home with my parents and eventually start an online dating service where I met the man I am married to now. I was involved in a car accident in 2007 and switched lawyers 3 times. This final lawyer is a childhood friend of my Husbands. In June of this year, I on my own and afraid decided to settle the case without him knowing. Being afraid of his reaction to what I have done I lied to him and told him that we were filing suit, and every time he asked I had another excuse so he wouldn't find out and leave me. This man I married is wonderful and treats me very well, but disappointing him scares me. Even as a child I had a fear of disappointing my parents and they would not love me anymore, even though they tell me they love me often. I had lied to my parents in the past also because of that fear I have inside. All it did was mess me more up inside and my parents losing trust in me like my husband has now.
During the time of all this I was so scared he was going to leave me nothing mattered to me anymore. We want to have a baby and are having a hard time because I am 40. I told my husband I was having a test to see if my tubes were blocked when I didn't have an appointment because why do it if he is going to leave me. I also said I was seeing a psychiatrist but was afraid of him leaving me and didn't go and now that shrink won't see me. I know I need help and want to be normal again and grow old with my husband who is so wonderful and his mother who is bedridden I love and help take care of. Disappointing them hurts a lot and I want to regain trust with them and be the person I am suppose to be. I do actually have a psychiatrist appointment on 11/17/10 to see a doctor and would like for my husband to come so we can both heal. Please let me know what I can do to become a whole and healthy person.
Thanks,
AnxiousGirl