bradley_1976
10-29-2010, 12:16 PM
Hello everyone, I'm new to this forum and have almost came to my end. I've been having some major problems the past 18 years. It all started out when I was 16 years old and I found my next door neighbor (a great friend) dead from a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head. Needless to say it was a very difficult experience. This was the start of it all. At the age of 19 I was involved in a MVA which I was a passenger in and my best friend of many years was killed in this accident. After regaining consciousness I saw my best friend dead at the top of the hill where we had wrecked. And the final was back in 2003 I found my Grandpa dead, he had lived beside me my whole life. He was my life. I tried my best to do CPR on him but he died in my arms. The worst day in my life by far ! So basically that's the just of it all. Now my problems. I went to the Dr. and she told me I was bi-polar, had PTSD, and severe depression. Also, I have a feeling of detatchment, I don't want to be around others and feel at ease when I'm alone. Every relationship I've ever been in has failed and I'm 100% sure that this is the reason. I have panic attacks to the point to where I can't leave the county that I live in. Living this life is hell ! When I have panic attacks I feel as if someone is choking me, I can't breathe, very difficult to swallow and fear trying to swallow because I feel as if I'm going to choke. Wide open spaces set them off, bridges set them off, the list goes on and on. I just really need some advice and some help because I'm to my breaking point. : :cry: