WORRY & ANXIETY OVER THINGS I CANNOT CONTROL..

[AmyMarie]

Just recently, I have been excessively worrying about certain things which I cannot control. It is unlike OCD where you obsess over the stove and go back 3-4 times to makes sure it is off. It might be that I have to much time on my hands or it could be legitimate.

I live in an older townhouse community where we have a HOA (Homeowners Assoc.) and they are like slum-lords. We pay out monthly fees to get things fixed around here and they do anything but. When a homeowner sues them, we suffer as well because our monthly fees that are suppose to go to improvements then go towards court costs.. You just cannot win and that alone has caused stress.

But the bigger picture here is that I have been lucky. I had a roof leak and it was fixed but now I have water in my basement including mold. Excuses keep being made that it will be fixed but I have been waiting now 6 months. Another issue is that a woman next door (who is Bipolar) told me that these homes are so dangerous that a friend of hers who has electrical experience was checking one of her outlets. She told me the electric is so bad that the wires just turned into dust when he handled them. These homes were built in the 70's and I cannot imagine the electric being that bad already. We also had 2 homes where they had water pipes burst.

My husband keeps telling me that just because it happened to others, does not mean it is going to happen to us. My theory is that it is just a matter of time because this community was built by the same builder, same blueprints at the same time. It has gotten to the point where I am on Ambien to get some sleep. I am up at night with worry in regards to the above situations that an electrical fire will occur or the pipes will start to go. I am also unsure if these homes even have firewalls!

My husband was hoping that with the purchase of brand new windows in the home, it would help me. I can honestly say that they are beautiful and I do feel somewhat better BUT with this huge investment, it has caused me now to worry even more about the electrical and water pipes. I am lucky that I do not think about it 24/7. My thoughts do not interrupt my work but as soon as I get home, it enters my mind. It seems like a no-win situation and my quality of life is suffering.

Support and advice is needed! :cry:

[sparks]

so it sounds like you have mastered worrying.

Have you ever been introduced to the idea that you can direct your thoughts some?

[AmyMarie]

so it sounds like you have mastered worrying.

Have you ever been introduced to the idea that you can direct your thoughts some?

First of all, even if you are a person who does not suffer from anxiety, you cannot tell me that if a neighbor who has the same home as you do and was built in the same year comes and tells you the electrical wires are turning to dust and the water pipes are starting to go that you would show NO CONCERN OR WORRY? Hmmmm? Anyways. as far as redirecting my thoughts, It works sometimes but like I said, when I am in the house is when all of the worrying starts. It is also hard NOT to think of anything else when all around you, you see contractors in the homes fixing major problems (roofers are here at the other end of the community and there is another contractor digging up the front yard of another unit with a possible pipe problem).

I am a school bus driver so my day starts before the cock crows (no pun intended) and I am back home by 10am or so. I then get ready to get the kids in the afternoon. I cannot expect to have the funds to go somewhere every day after I am done in the morning and avoid going home. Even just taking a drive somewhere is not feasable with gas being so expensive! Any suggestions?

Also, my husband is going to look at a neighbors basement to see how they put shelves up so we can get some of our things off the ground. We have water but not much and only when it rains, but, we are also connected to another home so whatever happens in that home, effects us. Building the shelves will hopefully alleviate some stress as well as installing a dehumidifier (which I am purchasing today).

Today I feel tired and worse than yesterday. My head feels heavy as well as my eyelids but no headache.

Any/all advice and techiniques used by other posters is appreciated :)

[Itzomi]

Hi there!

I would say it is expected to have those kind of concerns. Now, you might be getting yourself carried away with your concerns to the point of paranoia. Also, some bipolar people do have a flair for the dramatic, so I would not take your neighbor's comments too seriously. Wires turning to dust just by being held? And the homes are only from the 70s? That doesn't sound right.

If it were me, I would hire a property inspector. See if you really have cause to worry. Then, you can then decide if it's worth it to stay, or move on.

[AmyMarie]

Hi there!

I would say it is expected to have those kind of concerns. Now, you might be getting yourself carried away with your concerns to the point of paranoia. Also, some bipolar people do have a flair for the dramatic, so I would not take your neighbor's comments too seriously. Wires turning to dust just by being held? And the homes are only from the 70s? That doesn't sound right.

If it were me, I would hire a property inspector. See if you really have cause to worry. Then, you can then decide if it's worth it to stay, or move on.

It is unfortunate that moving is out of the question due to the economy. There are even some banks that are holding-off on forclosures because they do not want the homes..PERIOD! Not only that, we just spent 9K on new windows and sliding back door. It is an excellent selling point but now, we would actually lose money.

Some people are work-a-holics to help with anxiety. Some never leave the house and others only go home to sleep. I thought I would get alot more responses than I have on my post. I am comparing to other posts but I guess it depends.

Is there anyone here on this board that has similar thoughts? If so, what do you do to calm yourself (without meds) or change your thought process?

[sparks]

do you do to calm yourself (without meds) or change your thought process?

MOst people would agree that watching scary movies is scary... so a person is left with a couple of options to deal with this:

1) stop watching the movie aka change what you are thinking about
2) watch a better movie aka practice thinking about higher quality things
3) watch the same movie but watch it differently...this one is a bit complex to explain...

the above leaves the following question:

how else can you change how you feel if you don't change how you think?

[kathique]

I'm probably going to be shot down here - but if I were in the same situation as the OP I would be concerned. I think you should first approach this situation logically - can you get a tradesperson in to have a look at the wiring? As a previous poster has said, the lady next door may have her wires crossed (no pun intended) or could be exaggerating the situation. Until you k now what you're dealing with, I think you'll always be thinking worse case scenario.