eraserhead
10-25-2010, 07:05 AM
When you have been in a constant state of anxiety and unreality for as long as you remember. When the parts of the brain that make you feel connected has been shut off continuously, except for those rare occasions where you feel the soothing embrace of familiarity, or maybe in a dream where you are dropped small hints of what life is really like. What kind of self does one develop under these circumstances? Going through childhood, adolescence. Do you ever change, or do you only become a better actor?
What happens when you finally step out of the haze and enter reality? What happens when the floodgates of all that was repressed, open after all this time? What do you do with the self you developed under this terrible emotional poverty, does it serve you no purpose anymore? Do you let it die and find a new one? Is it still a question of anxiety, or of adrenaline and cortisol, and xanax and lexapro? Will it all go away, like it was never there to begin with? Is it just a trick of the mind?
Surprisingly, I think the answer is yes.
God bless.
What happens when you finally step out of the haze and enter reality? What happens when the floodgates of all that was repressed, open after all this time? What do you do with the self you developed under this terrible emotional poverty, does it serve you no purpose anymore? Do you let it die and find a new one? Is it still a question of anxiety, or of adrenaline and cortisol, and xanax and lexapro? Will it all go away, like it was never there to begin with? Is it just a trick of the mind?
Surprisingly, I think the answer is yes.
God bless.