cdub22
10-20-2010, 12:05 AM
I feel like sharing my story cause the Anxiety I am feeling now just makes me mad.
I must state though, when my mind is completely focused on something else, I have no symptoms and I am a happy person. This happens when I go out with friends and actually have fun, but with my anxiety, I for some reason don't want to do anything. I hate my mind right now.
I've had anxiety all my life, but to a very low degree. But it seemed to get worse after high school.
It really all started in about January of 06. For 2 weeks or a little more, I would get these weird dizzy episodes. That lasted only 3 seconds. I can't really explain it. It just felt weird. This eventually passed. Then comes Aug/Sept of 06. I started to get this weird feeling in my legs and arms, almost a numbness tingling sensation. On the third week of these annoyance, I decided to look online. BAD MISTAKE. The internet is the LAST place you want to look for you symptoms, I believe ever since this moment I have become a hypochondriac. I found out these were symptom of diabeties and 2 minutes later had my heart racing like crazy with chest pain. My parents brought me to the hospital. This was my first ever panic attack, and my worst one to date. Again, the tingling/numbness sensations were gone after about a month.
My next symptom with anxiety came with a dull ache or weird pressure in my back. This lasted 3 weeks and went away. This was in 07 I believe.
It kinda gets foggy from here on. I experience little or weird symptoms of anxiety. This was actually the best part of my life. From 08-09. A lot was going for me and my mind was occupied on so many other things. I had got a girlfriend that I was super happy with and I was promoted at work. Everything was going great.
Around Summer of 09 my girlfriend broke up with me and I was just down. In November I moved out of my parents place and into a condo of my own. And this is where Anxiety really kicked in. It was a whole new experience for me. When I lived at home, I had people to talk to, so my mind was off things and concentrated on something else. Now that I'm out on my own and out of town, my mind is always anxious, and I really can't explain it. I've had panic attacks almost 2 times a week since then. I've gain a considerable amount of weight since then. About 35 pounds.
I suffered a really bad migraine that lasted 3 days in December of 09. This was my first migraine ever, and to this day, still is my only one. From January 10 on, I experience some weird symptoms that would persist for months and then go.
And now here. In April I was diagnosed with a Pilonodial Sinus Disease. However you spell it. This thing can be a pain, and I has been infected about 3-4 times since then, so I've been taking anti-biotics for all occasions, and they have caused me bad heartburn, and not to mention, I've had a poor diet for the last year due to anxiety and stress. So comes August and I'm laid off from work. I've had bad heartburn from antibiotics and diet, and all of a sudden, I get this bad sharp ache clenching pain just below the sternum. This happens when I get heartburn or eat.
After 2 weeks and it wasn't getting any better I went to the doctor. She asked me a series of questions and did some kinda test. She told me I had Esophageal Spasms and prescribed me an acid reducer, which I never bothered to get. This was sort of a relief to me and the Spasms weren't as bad.
The Spasms to this day are still here, but not as bad as they were. Up until 3 weeks ago I hadn't changed my diet at all, I still ate fast food almost every other day, with sodas and such. I have now changed my diet and the spasms are less painful and less frequent. The thing is though, since my mind is almost focused on this every hour of every day, I get weird symptoms in my throat such a tightness, and some days my anxiety is so bad, my spasms seem to occur more often. When I'm focused on something, playing sports or just doing something with friends, it isn't there. This whole thing has caused eating anxiety. My body tightens up as I eat if I'm really anxious.
Anxiety has really turned my life around, and up until this summer I kept it bottled in from my parents. I told them what I was going through and that almost made me feel better. It seems they have gone through bad anxiety when they were my age, and to this day, still deal with it day to day, just not as badly as they did. I really wish I could just switch my mind off and just not care and enjoy myself. But I find it hard everyday to do so, this especially when I'm overweight by 35 pounds, jobless, and living off of EI.
I'm only 23, and I know this should be a fun time in my life, but I just can't seem to get my mind focused on being positive.
Since I know everyone here is so supportive and understanding, I want to say this. Every weekend, I usually head up to my parents, where my younger brother still lives and stay the weekend, and I do this mostly cause of my Anxiety. For some reason I just feel better there. My anxiety is lower and my current Spasms are either non-existant or very low in frequency. I just feel better there. I have people to talk to and I'm not by myself.
I believe I am feeling though. I know I will have to live with Anxiety for the rest of my life, but I just need to keep positive and not dwell on everything I experience.
Thanks for reading and or replying.
I must state though, when my mind is completely focused on something else, I have no symptoms and I am a happy person. This happens when I go out with friends and actually have fun, but with my anxiety, I for some reason don't want to do anything. I hate my mind right now.
I've had anxiety all my life, but to a very low degree. But it seemed to get worse after high school.
It really all started in about January of 06. For 2 weeks or a little more, I would get these weird dizzy episodes. That lasted only 3 seconds. I can't really explain it. It just felt weird. This eventually passed. Then comes Aug/Sept of 06. I started to get this weird feeling in my legs and arms, almost a numbness tingling sensation. On the third week of these annoyance, I decided to look online. BAD MISTAKE. The internet is the LAST place you want to look for you symptoms, I believe ever since this moment I have become a hypochondriac. I found out these were symptom of diabeties and 2 minutes later had my heart racing like crazy with chest pain. My parents brought me to the hospital. This was my first ever panic attack, and my worst one to date. Again, the tingling/numbness sensations were gone after about a month.
My next symptom with anxiety came with a dull ache or weird pressure in my back. This lasted 3 weeks and went away. This was in 07 I believe.
It kinda gets foggy from here on. I experience little or weird symptoms of anxiety. This was actually the best part of my life. From 08-09. A lot was going for me and my mind was occupied on so many other things. I had got a girlfriend that I was super happy with and I was promoted at work. Everything was going great.
Around Summer of 09 my girlfriend broke up with me and I was just down. In November I moved out of my parents place and into a condo of my own. And this is where Anxiety really kicked in. It was a whole new experience for me. When I lived at home, I had people to talk to, so my mind was off things and concentrated on something else. Now that I'm out on my own and out of town, my mind is always anxious, and I really can't explain it. I've had panic attacks almost 2 times a week since then. I've gain a considerable amount of weight since then. About 35 pounds.
I suffered a really bad migraine that lasted 3 days in December of 09. This was my first migraine ever, and to this day, still is my only one. From January 10 on, I experience some weird symptoms that would persist for months and then go.
And now here. In April I was diagnosed with a Pilonodial Sinus Disease. However you spell it. This thing can be a pain, and I has been infected about 3-4 times since then, so I've been taking anti-biotics for all occasions, and they have caused me bad heartburn, and not to mention, I've had a poor diet for the last year due to anxiety and stress. So comes August and I'm laid off from work. I've had bad heartburn from antibiotics and diet, and all of a sudden, I get this bad sharp ache clenching pain just below the sternum. This happens when I get heartburn or eat.
After 2 weeks and it wasn't getting any better I went to the doctor. She asked me a series of questions and did some kinda test. She told me I had Esophageal Spasms and prescribed me an acid reducer, which I never bothered to get. This was sort of a relief to me and the Spasms weren't as bad.
The Spasms to this day are still here, but not as bad as they were. Up until 3 weeks ago I hadn't changed my diet at all, I still ate fast food almost every other day, with sodas and such. I have now changed my diet and the spasms are less painful and less frequent. The thing is though, since my mind is almost focused on this every hour of every day, I get weird symptoms in my throat such a tightness, and some days my anxiety is so bad, my spasms seem to occur more often. When I'm focused on something, playing sports or just doing something with friends, it isn't there. This whole thing has caused eating anxiety. My body tightens up as I eat if I'm really anxious.
Anxiety has really turned my life around, and up until this summer I kept it bottled in from my parents. I told them what I was going through and that almost made me feel better. It seems they have gone through bad anxiety when they were my age, and to this day, still deal with it day to day, just not as badly as they did. I really wish I could just switch my mind off and just not care and enjoy myself. But I find it hard everyday to do so, this especially when I'm overweight by 35 pounds, jobless, and living off of EI.
I'm only 23, and I know this should be a fun time in my life, but I just can't seem to get my mind focused on being positive.
Since I know everyone here is so supportive and understanding, I want to say this. Every weekend, I usually head up to my parents, where my younger brother still lives and stay the weekend, and I do this mostly cause of my Anxiety. For some reason I just feel better there. My anxiety is lower and my current Spasms are either non-existant or very low in frequency. I just feel better there. I have people to talk to and I'm not by myself.
I believe I am feeling though. I know I will have to live with Anxiety for the rest of my life, but I just need to keep positive and not dwell on everything I experience.
Thanks for reading and or replying.