How should I feel when someone calls me shy

[TaylorM]

I've been dating someone for almost 2 months and recently I was over their house where they begged me to have dinner with their family and a friend of the family, I didn't want to because that would be the first dinner with them and that made me extremely nervous.. but I figured oh well I'm going to have to get to know them someday I might as well get it over with lol, so dinner time came.. we started to eat and the "family friend" talked and talked as I sat in silence listening and stuffing my face to make it seem as if the reason I didn't have much to say was because I was using my mouth to eat and not because I was nervous.. about 20 minutes later I had maybe said about 7 words.. (yes, no, maybe, is, danielle, your, daughter) maybe even laughed a little.. I thought I was doing good and not showing how anxious I really was inside and then out of no where my boyfriend says that he just wants "the family friend" to know that the reason I'm being quiet is because I'm shy.. that made me feel as If I were a small child at the dinner table with adults.. I was at a loss for words.. I sarcastically said "thaannnks" and then later alone he could tell I was upset so he explained to me that he only said that because "some people think that when someone they don't know isn't speaking to them that the person doesn't like them and I wanted her to know that wasn't the case" he said sorry..

Even though what he said made me feel like a loser I forgave him because I figured it's not his fault that I'm shy, but I guess my question is what can you say when someone calls you shy? how should you feel about it? is there nothing to feel about it?

[lunalady]

I'm really sensitive to the shy word too, although I am shy. Your story took me back to Sunday dinners with my high school boyfriend, I remember sitting there so nervous because the table was always full and i didn't want to have to speak.

[Fear]

yeah I hate that word too.
it makes me feel,loser,weak,stupid and most of all incapable.

[princehallowen22]

I feel self conscious, which is not pleasant. I look at the context, and unless the person is an obvious attempt to abuse myself, I do not get angry or very angry.

[sem3720]

I hate the word shy too. The other day I asked my boyfriend what his first impression was of me when we first me, and he said that I was cute and shy. Instantly I felt bad. The worst part is that I feel like I'm doing fine socially, or even good, I'm giving myself a break with how I'm acting and trying to be outgoing, and I still get the label! It's definitely frustrating, like all of my work and effort does nothing, or even is what is creating the problem in the first place.

[Zanshin]

I can relate to this. As a guy, being called shy makes me feel like I'm less of a man than others. It seems like I'm supposed to be out there, hitting on every girl I meet, getting into fights, being the authority on everything, but obviously, I don't feel like that's me at all. So when I'm quiet or reserved and someone calls me shy, that makes me feel totally inadequate.

[topeka999]

Like you, I don't like it when someone feels they need to explain that I'm shy. I don't talk unless I have something to say, and sometimes that leads to people feeling awkward/like I don't like them. I'm actually very outgoing in life...just not around people I'm not comfortable with.