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View Full Version : Cant find work due to anxiety. Ruining everything!



ZipTie
10-11-2010, 06:05 PM
I'm new here, wanted to say hi to everyone on the forum. My story is a little long so please bare with me.

Ok so I have atypical depression, and pretty severe anxiety. I've fought with it since I was in elementary school. The biggest area of life it effects is working. I have far worse anxiety about job hunting than anything else in life, with the next worse being going to work after things start to bother me at my job.

My problem with not working steadily has destroyed most of my relationships with women, and cost me the ability to live at home with my kids (3 and 5 yr olds) I've lost the love of my life, then married, and am in the middle of a divorce. Since separating from my wife I've been with and lost 2 incredible women. It has been gut-wrenching to go through. I have to figure out how to deal with this if I ever want to be able to have a successful relationship. That's not even bringing up the factor of financial ruin, and no life without any money.

I'm currently unemployed, and have been for 2 years. At first my ex and I decided together for me to quit my job. I was going to be a stay at home Dad, and work part time at night so we could stop paying absorbinent rates for childcare. Not surprisingly I never got that part time job... didn't put much effort into it because I had the kids, and hate job hunting. Eventually this caused my marriage to break apart. It was my fault.

Now I'm living in Ohio with my parents, away from my little ones. I've gotten 2 temp jobs only to get laid off from one inside a week, and the other only lasted 2 weeks. The job market in my area is horrible.

The first relationship I had when I moved here was very intense, but as a single mother she couldn't deal with me being unemployed. I was pretty devastated over having losing another love shortly after losing my marriage. I swore I wouldn't date again until I had my act together, but months of boredom and loneliness changed my mind on that. This latest relationship only lasted 2 1/2 months, and was starting to get serious until it became apparent that I wasn't finding a job in a reasonable amount of time. At first, not wanting to repeat history spurred me on and for a few weeks I tried really hard to get any job I could. After that I started to slack off, and started to talk myself out of going out to look more and more.

I'm depressed about everything now, and pretty much spend my life in front of the TV.

The big thing for me is, I was scared and sick thinking about losing these women, and I STILL couldn't bring myself to do this basic thing that all kinds of losers do just fine. ALL these motivating factors, and I still sit on my ass day after day. It doesn't make sense to me. I'm on 4 different drugs, and in counseling, but I don't feel any closer to getting better.

Maybe some of you guys can give me a little insight or advice to help me understand how to get out of this hole!

Thanks in advance

Terror-x
10-12-2010, 10:56 AM
wow ziptie welcome to the forum buddy thats some story mate well be assured that we are here to help you in every way we can mate with anxiety and panic attacks there are lots of people around the world suffering awith the similar things you ar going through so dont feel left out and alone because you aint we are here for you no matter what my names mark by the way :)

ZipTie
10-12-2010, 11:38 AM
wow ziptie welcome to the forum buddy thats some story mate well be assured that we are here to help you in every way we can mate with anxiety and panic attacks there are lots of people around the world suffering awith the similar things you ar going through so dont feel left out and alone because you aint we are here for you no matter what my names mark by the way :)

Thanks for the support Mark. Having a really hard time with this right now. Managed to go out and put in a couple apps this morning, got an interview on the spot... didn't go well! My gap in employment is killing my chance to get a job.

Emma5
10-12-2010, 01:54 PM
Hi ya. Am so sorry to hear how tough you are finding things at the moment believe me you really aren't alone. Finding employment is really hard even without anxiety and I think you are doing great even looking for work. Was thinking that maybe you could try doing a home learning course or something, it will give your mind a new focus and give you another skill for employment. I'm looking into doing one myself to set myself a goal.

Terror-x
10-12-2010, 05:08 PM
ziptie dont forget to add us on msn for live chat im allways on there for a chat if you need it our msn is

[email protected]

ZipTie
10-22-2010, 01:32 PM
Thx for the support yall. It seems like its only getting harder atm. Gonna try n make a Dr. apt for next week. The meds Im on arent workin so Im gonna see if I can get things changed around.

Robbed
10-22-2010, 03:22 PM
Was thinking that maybe you could try doing a home learning course or something, it will give your mind a new focus and give you another skill for employment. I'm looking into doing one myself to set myself a goal.

I don't know how good alot of these home learning courses are. A friend of mine was taking an automotive mechanics course at home. And honestly, I just wasn't impressed with it. I personally think that taking courses at a local community college would be a better idea, especially since employers are going to look at this more favorably than home study courses. Courses at community college are generally fairly inexpensive. And, at least here in California, if you are above a certain age and earn below a certain income, classes are free (not sure about Ohio, but I would look into it). Of course, depending on what you want to do, you can also transfer to a university to get a bachelor's degree. When you REALLY step back and look at your situation (as well as the state of the economy and bad job market), NOW is a better time than ever to be in school learning to do something you REALLY want to do.

ZipTie
10-22-2010, 07:50 PM
When you REALLY step back and look at your situation (as well as the state of the economy and bad job market), NOW is a better time than ever to be in school learning to do something you REALLY want to do.

I've been giving this some serious thought lately.

jgiannettict
10-22-2010, 08:17 PM
Hello we are all here for you......I'm really sorry you are having such a tough time with anxiety......Belive me it really does get better.....
I had a bout myself but lately I have been feeling a bit better.

Any questions of help feel free to contact me......Joe




I'm new here, wanted to say hi to everyone on the forum. My story is a little long so please bare with me.

Ok so I have atypical depression, and pretty severe anxiety. I've fought with it since I was in elementary school. The biggest area of life it effects is working. I have far worse anxiety about job hunting than anything else in life, with the next worse being going to work after things start to bother me at my job.

My problem with not working steadily has destroyed most of my relationships with women, and cost me the ability to live at home with my kids (3 and 5 yr olds) I've lost the love of my life, then married, and am in the middle of a divorce. Since separating from my wife I've been with and lost 2 incredible women. It has been gut-wrenching to go through. I have to figure out how to deal with this if I ever want to be able to have a successful relationship. That's not even bringing up the factor of financial ruin, and no life without any money.

I'm currently unemployed, and have been for 2 years. At first my ex and I decided together for me to quit my job. I was going to be a stay at home Dad, and work part time at night so we could stop paying absorbinent rates for childcare. Not surprisingly I never got that part time job... didn't put much effort into it because I had the kids, and hate job hunting. Eventually this caused my marriage to break apart. It was my fault.

Now I'm living in Ohio with my parents, away from my little ones. I've gotten 2 temp jobs only to get laid off from one inside a week, and the other only lasted 2 weeks. The job market in my area is horrible.

The first relationship I had when I moved here was very intense, but as a single mother she couldn't deal with me being unemployed. I was pretty devastated over having losing another love shortly after losing my marriage. I swore I wouldn't date again until I had my act together, but months of boredom and loneliness changed my mind on that. This latest relationship only lasted 2 1/2 months, and was starting to get serious until it became apparent that I wasn't finding a job in a reasonable amount of time. At first, not wanting to repeat history spurred me on and for a few weeks I tried really hard to get any job I could. After that I started to slack off, and started to talk myself out of going out to look more and more.

I'm depressed about everything now, and pretty much spend my life in front of the TV.

The big thing for me is, I was scared and sick thinking about losing these women, and I STILL couldn't bring myself to do this basic thing that all kinds of losers do just fine. ALL these motivating factors, and I still sit on my ass day after day. It doesn't make sense to me. I'm on 4 different drugs, and in counseling, but I don't feel any closer to getting better.

Maybe some of you guys can give me a little insight or advice to help me understand how to get out of this hole!

Thanks in advance