dubbemiah
10-02-2010, 01:18 AM
I just want to post this, because I have been struggling with severe, chronic anxiety for over 6 years now. I have been in the mental health unit of various hospitals on about 5-6 different occasions, and about a total of 2 months.
I am so fed up with the professionals around here that only offer the drug solution, and the all-too-cliche things they teach you in the hospital, like exercise, deep-breathing, cognitive therapy, etc.
I am not saying these things aren't effective, because they obviously are for some people. They weren't very effective for me, so over the course of my condition, I've developed very effect solutions to my anxiety problems. It has been over 6 years of chronic anxiety and not being able to relax, but I can say, that my life has gotten REMARKABLY better with these methods:
1) Removal From a Toxic Environment
At my very worst, it was difficult for me to even hold down a job. The family members whom I lived with, offered very limited, conditional support. In fact, most of my close relationships ended up being very traumatic to me. I know a lot of it was due to my illness, but my closes relationships were more of a burden/trauma than anything. My parents threw me out twice. My uncle threw me out once. All of it was over very minor things, accented by my anxiety problems.
I was in a toxic romantic relationship with a girl for 6 years, lived with her for 5. We lived below her parents. Given my past trauma's of being thrown out, and the fact that she ran to her mom to talk about our problems, only heightened my anxiety about living there.
I moved in with my brother and his fiance, and it has been one of the best decisions I've ever made. They are 100% understanding and supportive. They went the extra mile in so many ways and allowed me to recover at my own pace - a luxury I never had.
I reconnected with old friends on Facebook, got plugged into a social media. Be careful with Facebook. It can be very therapeutic, but it can also cause turmoil.
I started dating a girl, whom I REALLY enjoyed being with. The relationship was healthy from day one. She was an RN, so she was VERY understanding.
I started going back to church - not just a typical church, because God knows I've done that, and church can do more harm than good. But, this church is extremely uplifting and encouraging, and I feel the people are genuine.
2. A "Positive" Support System
I don't want to reiterate what I've mentioned above, but these people, or groups of people, like/love me for who I am. They don't try to change me. They are an encouragement.
3. Mind Occupation
Believe it or not, I just accepted an EXTREMELY stressful job. I never would have dreamed I could do this a year ago. But, here I am today, making it happen. Challenging personalities, heavy work load, scrutiny, rush rush rush. BUT, I am so busy, that I don't have time to think about the small stuff. Instead, I view myself as someone who is very motivated, who makes things happen, very able to multitask, very responsible. I surprise myself every day of how capable, mature, and intelligent I am. I don't have time to stress so much, because I am so busy accomplishing things - and damnit, it feels good.
4. Busy, but not overwhelmed.
In the last year, since most of these changes have been made, I've also been working on my music production. It has paid off, because doors are now opening for music. I was just elected to spearhead a music production group at my church, but I also play for the church band several times a month. I enjoy it, so it's not much overwhelming.
I get to do what I want, and I get to be around one of my positive support systems.
Stay on top of your responsibilities. Make lists. Don't stop until you are satisfied with what you have accomplish. IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD IF YOU DON'T GET EVERYTHING DONE IN ONE DAY, LIKE YOU HAD PLANNED.
5. What's Cognitive? What's Not?
I don't need a doctor to tell me that I have a chemical imbalance that makes me perceive every situation as a "do-or-die", "worst possible outcome" scenario. That is strictly my imbalance speaking. It is VERY hard to correct that cognitively, and to be honest, that is still a problem for me. My mind perceives and anticipates trauma in a lot of situations.
How do I know this? Because every once in a while, my brain go back to normal - for a very short period of time, just out of the blue. Things that I felt to be so "doomsday", suddenly seemed like nothing. I don't know what provoked the change, but it didn't last. It is one of my goals to get that figured out.
Some of my thoughts are caused by my imbalance. When that imbalance temporarily fixes itself, those thoughts go away. It's instant relief. 99% of the time, I don't feel that way (relieved), so I do the best I can with what I can control. My thoughts, my actions, my intentions and my heart.
6. What do I like about me?
I like that I'm a genuine person. I like that my heart is usually right, and my motives are usually pure. I feel that Jesus would approve of how I treat others. I like that I am thick-skinned. I like that I can handle a lot of responsibility now. I like that I am well respected by others. I like that people say I'm "easy to talk to". I like how smart I am. I like that even though I can be a slob, I get stuff done, and I make stuff happen. I like that even though I can be a slob, I find the time at some point to clean everything up. I like that I can keep up in my life.
It hasn't always been like this. I promise you that. But, I never stopped trying - ever.
7. Be there for others.
After I have done something to help someone, or to offer advice, or to listen to someone, I tend to spend the next 30 minutes thinking about how I may have had a serious positive impact on someones life. It's powerful. Try it.
8. Journal/Read the Bible
Every night I either try to read the Bible - not as a religious tradition. I believe in a loving and helpful God/Jesus, and I find Proverbs to be very helpful and encouraging. I also like to read about Jesus, as I think he was an ideal role model and superb human being.
This quiet time stills my mind and helps me focus. I usually do this on my bed, laying on my stomach. It helps a ton to calm down and prepare for sleep.
9. Everything Happens For A Reason
As soon as I learned that everything happened for a reason, my outlook changed about everything. I am also a firm believer that God will provide for my needs as long as I do my part. If my date doesn't work out, it wasn't meant to be. If I didn't get that job offer, it wasn't what God had in mind. Everything is fate. And if you believe in God, believe he doesn't mess that up.
10. Alcohol, Caffiene, Smoking
**NEVER MIX ALCOHOL WITH MEDICATION!!!!!!!!**
I don't agree with quitting caffeine, alcohol, or smoking, cold-turkey as a solution to help anxiety. Anytime I've tried to quit smoking or coffee cold-turkey, my anxiety got MUCH worse.
I drink alcohol in moderation. Moderate drinking enhances social experiences and reduces stress. Red wine has health benefits, in moderation. When I have alcohol, I drink it to take the edge off. Sometimes a little more, I will admit. If done responsibly, it can be a good thing. If done irresponsibly, it can turn your life upside-down for the worst.
I will take one or two shots of whiskey right after work sometimes, just to take the edge off, and to enjoy my evening. I always hang up the keys at that point. But, also remember, that alcohol dehydrates and strips nutrients from your body. I drink water when I drink. If I feel lousy the next day, I drink a glass of V8. I usually feel 100% better.
I used to drink way too much coffee. Caffiene CAN make anxiety worse, but you don't have to quit.
I buy Folgers (1/2 Caffiene) coffee. I drink 1 cup in the morning. I sip on Pepsi Max throughout the work day, along with water. I also try to throw in a glass of V8 at some point. Pepsi Max doesn't lift you up and drop you like coffee. It's more of a steady energy flow, with no sugar.
I eat light. I eat 1 package of instant oatmeal in the morning, along with a glass of V8 when I remember. Lunchtime is 1 sandwich on wheat bread, a slice of honey ham, a slice of cheese, and mayo. I eat a baggy of chips and a Little Debbie oatmeal cookie. I also drink water with my lunch ( to hydrate from any caffiene I've had).
The less carbs the better for me. The more sluggish I feel, the more my anxiety increases.
I am a smoker - have been for many years. ** DO NOT START SMOKING TO ALLEVIATE STRESS, PLEASE!!! ** I already smoke, and I am not quitting right now. It helps me cope, and that is what works for me. I switched to a brand that contains only tar and nicotine, so I worry less about cancer.
**Please do not do/start things that are unhealthy. I am not promoting drinking or smoking. Please don't take it that way. I don't like that I'm a smoker, but that's not something I can easily change right now, so I'm not. **
11. Medication
The only medication that has even done anything for me in the long-term has been Buspar. The only noticeable side effect I had, was loss of sexual interest. I would still be taking it, but I can't afford to right now.
I've been on them all. Most had side-effects that made things worse. The rest did nothing. Ativan/Klonopin are only temporary, and you become immune quickly. No antidepressant has worked for me. **AGAIN, I'm NOT saying they won't work for you, but they didn't for me.**
Exercise gives me temporarily relief from anxiety, truthfully speaking, but I've never experienced much long term success with it. I will never be against it, but I'm not in agreement with doctors that this is one of the best things you can do for anxiety. Temporarily, yes. Long-term? Not for me. But, maybe it would for you. I exercise at work though, so maybe it does help.
12. Stop Dwelling
On things out of my control. I can't control what Person A or Person B thinks about me. Regardless, who cares? If they don't like me, then we don't have to be friends. Problem solved.
It actually took me a while to come to terms with that, but once I did, it was really powerful.
Remember this quote:
"Those who mind, don't matter. Those who matter, don't mind"
-Dr. Seuss (Be Yourself!)
I know I've missed a lot, but I plan to add to this. I hope it helps for now, or at least, gives some suggestions outside the "cliche" box.
***This post is to explain what works for me. I am NOT recommending anyone do the things I do.. at all. If you decide to, that is your decision. I reiterate, don't start smoking, if you're not a smoker. You'll regret it later.
I hope this helps someone out there :)
I am so fed up with the professionals around here that only offer the drug solution, and the all-too-cliche things they teach you in the hospital, like exercise, deep-breathing, cognitive therapy, etc.
I am not saying these things aren't effective, because they obviously are for some people. They weren't very effective for me, so over the course of my condition, I've developed very effect solutions to my anxiety problems. It has been over 6 years of chronic anxiety and not being able to relax, but I can say, that my life has gotten REMARKABLY better with these methods:
1) Removal From a Toxic Environment
At my very worst, it was difficult for me to even hold down a job. The family members whom I lived with, offered very limited, conditional support. In fact, most of my close relationships ended up being very traumatic to me. I know a lot of it was due to my illness, but my closes relationships were more of a burden/trauma than anything. My parents threw me out twice. My uncle threw me out once. All of it was over very minor things, accented by my anxiety problems.
I was in a toxic romantic relationship with a girl for 6 years, lived with her for 5. We lived below her parents. Given my past trauma's of being thrown out, and the fact that she ran to her mom to talk about our problems, only heightened my anxiety about living there.
I moved in with my brother and his fiance, and it has been one of the best decisions I've ever made. They are 100% understanding and supportive. They went the extra mile in so many ways and allowed me to recover at my own pace - a luxury I never had.
I reconnected with old friends on Facebook, got plugged into a social media. Be careful with Facebook. It can be very therapeutic, but it can also cause turmoil.
I started dating a girl, whom I REALLY enjoyed being with. The relationship was healthy from day one. She was an RN, so she was VERY understanding.
I started going back to church - not just a typical church, because God knows I've done that, and church can do more harm than good. But, this church is extremely uplifting and encouraging, and I feel the people are genuine.
2. A "Positive" Support System
I don't want to reiterate what I've mentioned above, but these people, or groups of people, like/love me for who I am. They don't try to change me. They are an encouragement.
3. Mind Occupation
Believe it or not, I just accepted an EXTREMELY stressful job. I never would have dreamed I could do this a year ago. But, here I am today, making it happen. Challenging personalities, heavy work load, scrutiny, rush rush rush. BUT, I am so busy, that I don't have time to think about the small stuff. Instead, I view myself as someone who is very motivated, who makes things happen, very able to multitask, very responsible. I surprise myself every day of how capable, mature, and intelligent I am. I don't have time to stress so much, because I am so busy accomplishing things - and damnit, it feels good.
4. Busy, but not overwhelmed.
In the last year, since most of these changes have been made, I've also been working on my music production. It has paid off, because doors are now opening for music. I was just elected to spearhead a music production group at my church, but I also play for the church band several times a month. I enjoy it, so it's not much overwhelming.
I get to do what I want, and I get to be around one of my positive support systems.
Stay on top of your responsibilities. Make lists. Don't stop until you are satisfied with what you have accomplish. IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD IF YOU DON'T GET EVERYTHING DONE IN ONE DAY, LIKE YOU HAD PLANNED.
5. What's Cognitive? What's Not?
I don't need a doctor to tell me that I have a chemical imbalance that makes me perceive every situation as a "do-or-die", "worst possible outcome" scenario. That is strictly my imbalance speaking. It is VERY hard to correct that cognitively, and to be honest, that is still a problem for me. My mind perceives and anticipates trauma in a lot of situations.
How do I know this? Because every once in a while, my brain go back to normal - for a very short period of time, just out of the blue. Things that I felt to be so "doomsday", suddenly seemed like nothing. I don't know what provoked the change, but it didn't last. It is one of my goals to get that figured out.
Some of my thoughts are caused by my imbalance. When that imbalance temporarily fixes itself, those thoughts go away. It's instant relief. 99% of the time, I don't feel that way (relieved), so I do the best I can with what I can control. My thoughts, my actions, my intentions and my heart.
6. What do I like about me?
I like that I'm a genuine person. I like that my heart is usually right, and my motives are usually pure. I feel that Jesus would approve of how I treat others. I like that I am thick-skinned. I like that I can handle a lot of responsibility now. I like that I am well respected by others. I like that people say I'm "easy to talk to". I like how smart I am. I like that even though I can be a slob, I get stuff done, and I make stuff happen. I like that even though I can be a slob, I find the time at some point to clean everything up. I like that I can keep up in my life.
It hasn't always been like this. I promise you that. But, I never stopped trying - ever.
7. Be there for others.
After I have done something to help someone, or to offer advice, or to listen to someone, I tend to spend the next 30 minutes thinking about how I may have had a serious positive impact on someones life. It's powerful. Try it.
8. Journal/Read the Bible
Every night I either try to read the Bible - not as a religious tradition. I believe in a loving and helpful God/Jesus, and I find Proverbs to be very helpful and encouraging. I also like to read about Jesus, as I think he was an ideal role model and superb human being.
This quiet time stills my mind and helps me focus. I usually do this on my bed, laying on my stomach. It helps a ton to calm down and prepare for sleep.
9. Everything Happens For A Reason
As soon as I learned that everything happened for a reason, my outlook changed about everything. I am also a firm believer that God will provide for my needs as long as I do my part. If my date doesn't work out, it wasn't meant to be. If I didn't get that job offer, it wasn't what God had in mind. Everything is fate. And if you believe in God, believe he doesn't mess that up.
10. Alcohol, Caffiene, Smoking
**NEVER MIX ALCOHOL WITH MEDICATION!!!!!!!!**
I don't agree with quitting caffeine, alcohol, or smoking, cold-turkey as a solution to help anxiety. Anytime I've tried to quit smoking or coffee cold-turkey, my anxiety got MUCH worse.
I drink alcohol in moderation. Moderate drinking enhances social experiences and reduces stress. Red wine has health benefits, in moderation. When I have alcohol, I drink it to take the edge off. Sometimes a little more, I will admit. If done responsibly, it can be a good thing. If done irresponsibly, it can turn your life upside-down for the worst.
I will take one or two shots of whiskey right after work sometimes, just to take the edge off, and to enjoy my evening. I always hang up the keys at that point. But, also remember, that alcohol dehydrates and strips nutrients from your body. I drink water when I drink. If I feel lousy the next day, I drink a glass of V8. I usually feel 100% better.
I used to drink way too much coffee. Caffiene CAN make anxiety worse, but you don't have to quit.
I buy Folgers (1/2 Caffiene) coffee. I drink 1 cup in the morning. I sip on Pepsi Max throughout the work day, along with water. I also try to throw in a glass of V8 at some point. Pepsi Max doesn't lift you up and drop you like coffee. It's more of a steady energy flow, with no sugar.
I eat light. I eat 1 package of instant oatmeal in the morning, along with a glass of V8 when I remember. Lunchtime is 1 sandwich on wheat bread, a slice of honey ham, a slice of cheese, and mayo. I eat a baggy of chips and a Little Debbie oatmeal cookie. I also drink water with my lunch ( to hydrate from any caffiene I've had).
The less carbs the better for me. The more sluggish I feel, the more my anxiety increases.
I am a smoker - have been for many years. ** DO NOT START SMOKING TO ALLEVIATE STRESS, PLEASE!!! ** I already smoke, and I am not quitting right now. It helps me cope, and that is what works for me. I switched to a brand that contains only tar and nicotine, so I worry less about cancer.
**Please do not do/start things that are unhealthy. I am not promoting drinking or smoking. Please don't take it that way. I don't like that I'm a smoker, but that's not something I can easily change right now, so I'm not. **
11. Medication
The only medication that has even done anything for me in the long-term has been Buspar. The only noticeable side effect I had, was loss of sexual interest. I would still be taking it, but I can't afford to right now.
I've been on them all. Most had side-effects that made things worse. The rest did nothing. Ativan/Klonopin are only temporary, and you become immune quickly. No antidepressant has worked for me. **AGAIN, I'm NOT saying they won't work for you, but they didn't for me.**
Exercise gives me temporarily relief from anxiety, truthfully speaking, but I've never experienced much long term success with it. I will never be against it, but I'm not in agreement with doctors that this is one of the best things you can do for anxiety. Temporarily, yes. Long-term? Not for me. But, maybe it would for you. I exercise at work though, so maybe it does help.
12. Stop Dwelling
On things out of my control. I can't control what Person A or Person B thinks about me. Regardless, who cares? If they don't like me, then we don't have to be friends. Problem solved.
It actually took me a while to come to terms with that, but once I did, it was really powerful.
Remember this quote:
"Those who mind, don't matter. Those who matter, don't mind"
-Dr. Seuss (Be Yourself!)
I know I've missed a lot, but I plan to add to this. I hope it helps for now, or at least, gives some suggestions outside the "cliche" box.
***This post is to explain what works for me. I am NOT recommending anyone do the things I do.. at all. If you decide to, that is your decision. I reiterate, don't start smoking, if you're not a smoker. You'll regret it later.
I hope this helps someone out there :)