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View Full Version : Are you afraid to make eye contact?



AnthonyStAugustine
09-25-2010, 07:06 PM
I used to have a huge fear of making eye contact with people; even people I knew. When it came to making eye contact with strangers, you could forget about that. But, eye contact is very important. I eventually created a trick to distract me from my fear of making eye contact. When I started doing this, it started to get me over my fear.

I started using curiosity to my advantage. When I started doing this I realized that my fear of making eye contact drastically decreased. What I did was I would try to figure out the color of someone’s eyes were.

Coming from a place of curiosity distracted my fear of eye contact. I noticed when I started to do this I was able to have better social interactions and I came across less insecure of unconfident. For me, it was hard to make eye contact in the beginning of the interaction. If I could get past the initial uncomfortable it becomes easy.

Before I started using this trick, the beginning of the first eye contact was difficult. Several times I would try to force myself through it (that must have looked really unnatural to the person I was talking to). This trick has helped me to overcome that uncomfortable first eye contact moment. Maintaining eye contact after the first eye contact really isn’t that difficult. When you’re able to do this you will realize that it really isn’t that scary.

I don’t have this problem anymore, but I question why I was afraid to make eye contact in the past. Was I afraid that other would see fear or weakness in my eyes? Did I fear that people would be able to read me like a book? To this day I can’t figure out why I was so scared to make eye contact. Leave it up to my irrational thoughts to lead me to believe that there was a reason to have this fear. This fear was useless to me. It didn’t benefit me at all.

Coming from a place of curiosity helped me get over the fear of making eye contact. It gave me a reason to establish eye contact. If you can get past that initial discomfort, it’s not difficult to maintain eye contact. Eye contact is a very powerful tool that you can use during any social interaction. Try this out and see if this works for you.

lunalady
09-27-2010, 06:14 AM
I learned to look at the other person's bridge ( the space between the eyes) instead of meeting their gaze directly.

My SA ebbs and flows, and when it does flare up, and I find myself avoiding eye contact, I remember this trick and it helps me.

Vanessa
09-27-2010, 03:43 PM
I used to have this problem as well. Eye contact was so difficult for me, but just like lunalady said, I would look at the space between a person's eyes. After doing this long enough, I felt comfortable to look others in the eye. I still have problems when meeting people for the first time, but after I get to know them, I'm fine.

louise_chloe
10-02-2010, 09:40 AM
I have trouble making eye contact but i will definately give this a try. Thank you :)

a1jonuk
10-02-2010, 10:30 AM
Hi,

Thank you for posting this topic, making eye contact is a problem for many people who suffer with anxiety, myself most definately included.

I will keep in mind what you say next time I have to meet someone for the 1st time.

Andrew.

AnthonyStAugustine
10-02-2010, 11:12 AM
No problem a1jonuk and louise_chloe. It's not hard to apply.

princehallowen22
10-29-2010, 08:27 AM
I think to make eye contact with a real person is really difficult. I must be very comfortable with someone before I will look into the eyes. And I am not going around pretending to make eye contact with a bunch of people I do not really know.

princehallowen22
10-29-2010, 08:30 AM
I think to make eye contact with a real person is really difficult. I must be very comfortable with someone before I will look into the eyes. And I am not going around pretending to make eye contact with a bunch of people I do not really know.

princehallowen22
10-29-2010, 08:33 AM
I think to make eye contact with a real person is really difficult. I must be very comfortable with someone before I will look into the eyes. And I am not going around pretending to make eye contact with a bunch of people I do not really know.

deloneblack
11-19-2010, 11:26 AM
I am really afraid of contact with eyes, just feels so personal. I can not look someone in the eye. I have nothing to hide, or I am afraid.

galewinters11
11-24-2010, 07:21 PM
I used to be uneasy about making eye contact, too; I'd feel like the person I was talking to was judging me, and that made me feel really uncomfortable so I'd make an excuse to end the conversation abruptly and walk away. What I did was to practice by first looking at their forehead (so at least I won't be looking past them or at the ground), and then I moved to staring at the space between their eyes. Eventually I learned to look them straight in the eyes. Hope this helps anyone who wants to overcome their fear of making eye contact.

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GadGal
06-16-2012, 07:42 AM
I just want to let you know I have always had this problem and I read this a few hours ago and then bumped into a work friend an I was able to look her in the eye so thanks so much, clever clever!

octopus
06-19-2012, 09:43 AM
Thanks for some tips. I struggle looking at people in the eyes. Usually people i like but dont know that much. New people basically.

dancinglemon
06-22-2012, 06:34 PM
It always feels like they're looking straight into me and knowing what I'm thinking, as crazy as that sounds...I'll definitely give this a go, though. Although I find if I focus too much on something like eye colour, I'll miss half the conversation :D

debraxoxo
08-29-2012, 09:16 AM
If I haven't read this post, I won't even had realize that I am in the same situation! I cannot look into a person's eye for a long period of time. I will get panic strikes. My teacher used to taught me to look at their nose bridge as well, but I find it too amusing and funny therefore I disregarded it. Usually I will play around with things to avoid eye contact, I pretended to be really busy with the things I'm doing. The only time when I can maintain eye contact with someone, is when I'm comfortable with that person~ it can be anyone, as long as they are capable of making me feel comfortable, I can automatically open up to them and look into their eyes. I can't do the same for friends, teachers and strangers. I don't know why. I will really try this method in school tomorrow. Thank you for this advice!

owl
09-19-2012, 06:05 PM
Making eye contact is a challenge for me, mostly when meeting new people. It always feels awkward/uncomfortable. I always end up forcing myself to keep eye contact, and it shows. People think I'm a dishonest person because I have difficult holding eye contact. If I'm feeling particularly anxious, my eyelids might flicker, making me look like a psycho. And that only makes me more anxious. Because then I try even harder to hold eye contact and then my eyes dance even more wildly, making me look even more psychotic lol.

My issue with eye contact has kept me from reaching out to new people. I don't want to freak them out.

ananxiousgirl
09-21-2012, 03:58 AM
Yes, i alawys avoid eye contact as much as i could.

ananxiousgirl
10-04-2012, 03:36 AM
I avoid eye contact as much as possible....can't do anything about it.