nervousbutterflies
09-16-2010, 07:58 PM
Today was a horrible day. I woke up with my lungs and esophagus feelin like there is broken glass in them. I think I have a chest infection. I tryed callin my stepmom to tell her and I mentioned how I wanted to go to the doctor and she was like our insurance doesn't cover drs visits and ur fine u just have a cold. She told me I'm not gonns have insurance at all startin oct 31 because my dad didn't work enough becauses there's no carpenter jobs since the economy. I started cryin a lot and sayin how its not fair that they could just take my insurance away and just leave me to worry about what I'm gonna do now. I was also cryin sayin how I need help with my anxiety/panic disorder because it is turning to agoraphobia. later on I was with my brother and he was saying how my stepmom and my dad were saying how crazy I am because everytime I'm sick I think I should go to the doctor so I started crying again thinkin that everyone thinks I'm crazy and I will never be normal and I should just kill myself because I cannot stand feeling like this anymore nothing is ever gonna help me and nobody is ever truly gonna believe how I feel. I am so alone I just want to be normal before I actually do kill myself.