Fear of the rain.

[little olive]

I'm 17 years old and haven't lived a day of my life yet without worrying about the weather. For years now I've had difficulty leaving the house alone for reasons which are completely unknown, but when it's raining outside, my anxiety levels reach a whole new height.

This fear I have has lately affected my life in a number of negative ways. I dropped out of college at the start of this year after being there for months, with only a couple weeks left until I got my qualification. This was because I started phoning in sick on a regular basis due to how frightened I was to leave the house and walk to college alone. Plus with it being winter, the weather was terrible and I honestly felt as though I was frightened for my life everytime I opened the front door to leave. I've enroled once again into a new course in college and today is my fifth day there. So far I've missed two days of it and that's including today. I phoned in sick around 30 minutes ago because I looked outside and noticed it was getting rather windy, and after my experiences I know what's coming - some pretty serious rain.

I've lost all of the friends I once had because they all think I'm crazy. I mentioned this problem to them back in high school and they all more or less laughed in my face. I've never met someone with the same fear that I have and this is making me wonder if I'm just crazy. I've always hoped that this is just some sort of phase, but I'm really beginning to wonder if this is something which could become even more serious.

At the moment I've been experiencing issues in regards to throwing up regularly due to my anxiety. I throw up a number of times throughout the day because I'm constantly thinking about the journey to college. All of this throwing up makes me feel really unwell, with stomach cramps daily which put me in a lot of physical pain. I also get regular migraines and always have a mouth full of ulcers. I think a lot of this is due to the stress I put myself under as I'm constantly worrying about when I will have to go out and when it will rain.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I've got myself stuck in this rut and I'm frightened because I'm so young and I feel as though this just isn't the way my life should be. I want to experience a greater sense of freedom and I would like to somehow find the strength to push myself to the end. Can anyone please help?

[rhirhi18]

Hi I thought I would reply to your post as we are similar in age I am 18 years old and am stuck in a complete rut of obsessions and I also ruined my qualifications and friends because of this. Currently I am obsessed with the fact that the back of my nose piercing has gone into my lung even though the doctor said it will be in my stomach , the fact that it is the weather isnt really relevant as these obsessions are just us totally feeling the anxiety it would not matter if it was the weather or my nose piercing etc we need to deal with the anxiety even though it is a viscious circle because how can we be treated when were anxious to leave the house Have you been to see a councillor or doctor?

xx

[Rob1978]

I'm practically the exact opposite. A bright summer day with all the colors screming at me and sounds of the extra activity that goes along with such days can overload me and trigger a panic attack. Many times I have gotten dressed, taken a step outside and been stopped dead by my fear. Rainy days, for me, however are one of the rare instances where I can usually maintain my composure. The dim skies, and the soothingly predictable white noise of rain hitting the ground are a godsend to me.
I can tell you that I've had periods in my life where these feelings didn't effect me as intensely. I've been in the grip of a pretty bad spell for the last few months, but knowing that I've been here before and things got better helps to reassure me that this will not be a permanent condition, and things will get better.

[Charmbracelet81]

Olive,
I am like you in that a certain weather can add to my mood/anxiety.

Rob,
I am like you in that rain is a Godsend for me! It makes me feel happy and in a good mood. I love the smell/sound of it. Just everything about Fall/Winter/Spring is so awesome to me. I have even told my therapist that I think I have seasonal depression, but not like the typical person during the winter months, but during summer. Summer sun and heat (especially living in the desert) are not good for me. I feel more "derealization" with how bright it is, I feel more like I can't breath wiith the thickness of the heat, ect. I just can't stand it. While I (obviously) still have anxiety and the occasional panic attack, my mood has started changing with the season and I love it.
Haven't done research about this however, but there;'s obviosuly something there.

[lunalady]

Hi Little Olive,

Well this is interfering with your life big time. It seems to me if you've had this fear for most of your life, you can certainly take some positive action steps to overcome it.

It sounds like a phobia. Have you talked to a doctor or therapist?

Have you read any self help books? What have you done to get better?

[jj1983]

I also feel better on a dark and rainy day. When the sun comes out and its all dark I feel "afraid" myself...

[Robbed]

Rain doesn't bother me. In fact, I find it interesting and even soothing at times. Sunny weather is nice, too. But what I REALLY don't like is persistant, dark, overcast weather (without rain). THAT can kind of get me down sometimes. Luckily, this doesn't happen TOO often here in California.