little olive
09-14-2010, 01:24 AM
I'm 17 years old and haven't lived a day of my life yet without worrying about the weather. For years now I've had difficulty leaving the house alone for reasons which are completely unknown, but when it's raining outside, my anxiety levels reach a whole new height.
This fear I have has lately affected my life in a number of negative ways. I dropped out of college at the start of this year after being there for months, with only a couple weeks left until I got my qualification. This was because I started phoning in sick on a regular basis due to how frightened I was to leave the house and walk to college alone. Plus with it being winter, the weather was terrible and I honestly felt as though I was frightened for my life everytime I opened the front door to leave. I've enroled once again into a new course in college and today is my fifth day there. So far I've missed two days of it and that's including today. I phoned in sick around 30 minutes ago because I looked outside and noticed it was getting rather windy, and after my experiences I know what's coming - some pretty serious rain.
I've lost all of the friends I once had because they all think I'm crazy. I mentioned this problem to them back in high school and they all more or less laughed in my face. I've never met someone with the same fear that I have and this is making me wonder if I'm just crazy. I've always hoped that this is just some sort of phase, but I'm really beginning to wonder if this is something which could become even more serious.
At the moment I've been experiencing issues in regards to throwing up regularly due to my anxiety. I throw up a number of times throughout the day because I'm constantly thinking about the journey to college. All of this throwing up makes me feel really unwell, with stomach cramps daily which put me in a lot of physical pain. I also get regular migraines and always have a mouth full of ulcers. I think a lot of this is due to the stress I put myself under as I'm constantly worrying about when I will have to go out and when it will rain.
I just don't know what to do with myself. I've got myself stuck in this rut and I'm frightened because I'm so young and I feel as though this just isn't the way my life should be. I want to experience a greater sense of freedom and I would like to somehow find the strength to push myself to the end. Can anyone please help?
This fear I have has lately affected my life in a number of negative ways. I dropped out of college at the start of this year after being there for months, with only a couple weeks left until I got my qualification. This was because I started phoning in sick on a regular basis due to how frightened I was to leave the house and walk to college alone. Plus with it being winter, the weather was terrible and I honestly felt as though I was frightened for my life everytime I opened the front door to leave. I've enroled once again into a new course in college and today is my fifth day there. So far I've missed two days of it and that's including today. I phoned in sick around 30 minutes ago because I looked outside and noticed it was getting rather windy, and after my experiences I know what's coming - some pretty serious rain.
I've lost all of the friends I once had because they all think I'm crazy. I mentioned this problem to them back in high school and they all more or less laughed in my face. I've never met someone with the same fear that I have and this is making me wonder if I'm just crazy. I've always hoped that this is just some sort of phase, but I'm really beginning to wonder if this is something which could become even more serious.
At the moment I've been experiencing issues in regards to throwing up regularly due to my anxiety. I throw up a number of times throughout the day because I'm constantly thinking about the journey to college. All of this throwing up makes me feel really unwell, with stomach cramps daily which put me in a lot of physical pain. I also get regular migraines and always have a mouth full of ulcers. I think a lot of this is due to the stress I put myself under as I'm constantly worrying about when I will have to go out and when it will rain.
I just don't know what to do with myself. I've got myself stuck in this rut and I'm frightened because I'm so young and I feel as though this just isn't the way my life should be. I want to experience a greater sense of freedom and I would like to somehow find the strength to push myself to the end. Can anyone please help?