DEATH !!

[Razz]

My wife's sister is dying in the ICU. We were told that it would happen two weeks ago and in spite of removing life support systems she is still lingering. She has been sick a long time but is has been nothing but one crisiss after another for 4 months. I have major health phobias and wont go near the hospital and my wife is doing most of the care and work.

I was in a very bad anxiety breakdown before this happened but I think this is taking me beyond anything I have ever felt before. All I do is walk and pace all day and feel insane.

Could this outside stress over her sister be taking me down. I am really sick and tortured. How would you feel?

James

[Charmbracelet81]

First of all, sorry to hear about her condition.
Yes, I would feel the way you do. I was at a hospital a few weeks ago to visit my premature cousin, and passed by the cardiac unit and had a full panic attack, JUST PASSING BY IT! (my heart is my main focus) So I hadn't planned on being near the cardiac unit and being that I was, it wasn't good. I had htoughts that I was next to be in there, ect. So your phobia of the hospital is like mine with the cardiac unit...much less you have someone there as a patient. I know how you are feeling is normal. *hugs

[Itzomi]

I have dealt with the sicknes and deaths of several family members, and it's no walk in the park!

Especially if a person has a degenerative disease (as opposed to having had an accident) and you're forced to hear about each day as it progresses (thru your wife), it's no wonder why you're extremely anxious. You tend to think, "What if *I* have/ever get that?!" Then you go down the road of "OMG...what ifs."

At this time, just try to be there for your wife (I'm sure you are trying as best as you can) and know that, though she may appear "the strong one" right now (she has no choice, that's her sister and her sister needs her), she may suffer greatly once the dust has settled. Might not be right away, but there will be one tiny little thing - maybe a song she hears - that will be the straw that breaks the camel's back and she could lose it. Hopefully not, but the feelings she's holding in to appear strong for her sister are going to spill out eventually.

[forwells]

Howdy James


Could this outside stress over her sister be taking me down. I am really sick and tortured. How would you feel?

What do you think ? Of course your stress is raised and that is all it is . The reaction you are having is normal for someone under stress but its just that yours is higher because of your anxiety .

When my dad died years ago i just excepted it and moved on . I didnt have anxiety then . When i had anxiety and it was at its worst my mother died from brain cancer . My anxiety made it so bad that within three days i couldn't leave the coach because of the fear.

You have to start to see that it is your stress level causing all this and much of that with you is the way you react and think about things . Have you tried a good coach with CBT

cheers kev

[joesph]

Hi James,

I had the same problem a few years ago, my grandmother died of cancer, it was a very slow process over aproxx 1 and a half years, it started a huge axiety isssue for myself. it was so bad that when she died the doctors and our family decided that it would be best for her to remain at home in the comfort of her loved ones near the end, I would avoid going to see her because of my own fears of death,(we lived on the same street) I have always regretted this as my grandmother was like my second mom she practically raised me, and my anxiety keep me away when she needed me the most the same thing happened with my grandfather when he went into the hospital I was so sacared of hospitals I didnt go see him everyone said he was fine just routine stuff, then he passed away. I wish I could have been there for them and that my anxiety didnt cripple me when they needed me.

[ThePhoenix]

Like a good few people have said, its to be expected that you would be suffering from stress in a time like this. I hate walking into hospitals or medical centres and anything like that as well!