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sadflower
09-06-2010, 11:06 AM
Hi all,
I don't know why I feel the need to keep posting on these forums, but it seems to help, so here goes.
I am 28, been suffering from anxiety and depression for years. On and off anti-depressants for years, although none for the past several. I choose to self medicate instead. Have been in a relationship with a Type-1 diabetic for three years, and I have to be honest, it is really taking a toll on my mental health. He has severe hypo-glycemic episodes, which means at any given moment I may be called on to save his life. That may sound exaggerated, but it's really not. It's terrifying when it happens, could be anytime, anywhere, unexpectedly. When his levels go to low, he gets confused and irritable, then starts shaking and cold sweats. Often he doesn't catch it in time and so someone must administer glucose or he will start seizing, and could eventually cause a coma or death if not treated immediately. Sometimes it happens when he is alone and he will come out of it by himself (your liver stores emergency sugar, but this is not a fail-safe).
Anyhow - I worry all the time. While we're sleeping I have to be right next to him or I freak out. If I'm at work (which I am every morning almost) I worry the entire time. If I don't hear from him every few hours, I worry. If I call and he doesn't answer, I panic and have to drive home to check on him. I recently cancelled a trip because I couldn't be away from him for three days. I don't know what to do. We argue all the time, mostly because of my constant need to ask him if he's ok. He can be verbally/emotionally abusive beyond belief and this is not helping my already low self-esteem. I see my life going nowhere but towards endless worry and depression. He will probably die way sooner than me, as he is older and has been diabetic for 30 years. I just get sadder everyday. Have no interest in anything and cannot stop this anxiety!
Help - please.
sadflower

jhon01
09-06-2010, 01:19 PM
Hello,

Nice thread the information in every post is good thanks for posting here

thanks

jj1983
09-06-2010, 09:05 PM
Hello,
I just wanted to say I am not sure what the post before me was all about..but anyhow...

I understand your worry our daughter passed 2/3/10 at 3 and a half months of age due to a genetic disorder, t9m and ever since I have had ALOT of panic attacks. I worry frequently about myself, our son, my hubby etc.

I used to have anxiety a few years back and it had lightened up but has gotten worse now due to worrying about myself,family and our PCS military move coming up..I have always lived here and now will be 10 hours away.

I am not sure what to tell you..but.I would love you to pm me!!!lets chat and maybe we can help each other

mhdwjw
09-07-2010, 04:20 AM
Hey there, sorry to hear what ur going through. This relationship does not sound healthy. In fact it is a huge stress, stress equals anxiety. You need to change your situation and take care of yourself. Are you happy in the relationship?

Itzomi
09-07-2010, 02:58 PM
At first I was thinking how sweet it is for you to be so worried over him, and that he's lucky to have such a woman, but after reading about him being emotionally & verbally abusive, pfffft...he doesn't deserve all your loving attention!

If I were you, I'd put a little space between you two. Stop checking on him, or at least taper off. You are clearly not happy, and he is clearly not appreciative.

Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do!

sadflower
09-08-2010, 07:19 PM
Thanks to all for replying. I have thought about leaving several times. But I love this man very much, and I don't think he is inherently evil or anything. He just has issues, different from mine but issues nonetheless. He had a very abusive childhood, step-father spent 3 years in vietnam and years after as an alcoholic. Plus living with a disease that makes you feel so different from "normal" people must be very hard. I have learned to stand up for myself over the last few years and often I will scream back at him when he starts his crap. I don't know if that will ever change, but I can't leave him just because he is sick. I don't know. I have my good days, and then my bad weeks. Ya know. It helps to know I'm not entirely alone. If I could just turn off the worry it would be better